Mr Incognito's January Excursion

[Mr Incognito]

Fleeing work on Friday afternoon, by 10.30 pm I was heading out on a hunt for hash. My hotel is out east so I jump on the metro and leap off at Waterlooplein. I am going to Boerejongens to get some block hash. There's quite a queue - took about 5 mins to get served. There are 3 blocks I can remember that were on offer - Kosher Tangie at €16, AK Choco Kush at €9, and Blue Dream Block at €8. I go for the Blue Dream. It's quite dark and soft - not at all like the White Chick Block that I have had before from there. I have no idea what it is like to smoke or vape - that will be assessed later when I smoke and vape it!

Now for some weed to get myself properly in the Amsterdam mood. I head to Hunters and pick up some Lavender Kush at €12. It was new on the menu and the tub had some big tasty looking nuts beckoning me! Take that next door to Hunters Bar, and finally I am sitting down spliff in hand with a beer in front of me, and tapping my feet along to an excellent soundtrack of some dub-trance-hip-whatsitsname. Leeds United are on the telly and they are winning. Welcome home to paradise Mr Incognito!

The Lavender Kush turns out to be an excellent smoke - fruity taste, smokes great neat, and relaxes me nicely into the groovy sounds! But not for too long - I am supposed to be a man on a mission. I gather all my stuff together and set off purposefully into the night. 15 minutes later I am completely lost, have no idea where I am going, and am capable only of staring at the map on a metro stop while giggling. I love this place!

I decide that what is needed is a sit down and a WiFi connection. I can't get my data roaming to work. I can't even get Google Maps to tell me where I am. The offline version I sensibly downloaded has been deleted by the idiot trying to use it. Shit a brick, I am trashed...... So I wander into a bar. It was great, served me some lovely beer and a plate of food. I have no idea where it was!

Back outside and time is getting on - 12.37 and I had better find a coffeeshop quick. The one I chance into is Papillon. It has a pretty good menu - I get some Papi Special at €7.50, and could equally have chosen Gardela at €8, and they also had some black hashes and Polm, if I remember correctly (which I probably don't!). I also pick up some Santa Maria at €8 - this is one of my favourite strains. Now for the march back to the hotel. It's after 1:00 now and the bars seem to be closing. But I need to skin up a little number to keep my feet going. I find a great little bar with 38 different beers. It is just about empty and is strewn with monkey nut shells - looks like there's been some wild party going on! A couple of Zatte's later and I have a Santa Maria rolled up and am heading back to the hotel. It smokes well, but I am in no state to tell what it's qualities are!

A final 1 skin wonder back at the hotel with a sprinkle of the hashes and the left over grind from the weeds and I am finally horizontal and comatose. Mission accomplished.

[macky]

Keep them coming ,good start

[OneHighMofo]

The Lavender Kush turns out to be an excellent smoke - fruity taste, smokes great neat, and relaxes me nicely into the groovy sounds! But not for too long - I am supposed to be a man on a mission. I gather all my stuff together and set off purposefully into the night. 15 minutes later I am completely lost, have no idea where I am going, and am capable only of staring at the map on a metro stop while giggling. I love this place!

I decide that what is needed is a sit down and a WiFi connection. I can't get my data roaming to work. I can't even get Google Maps to tell me where I am. The offline version I sensibly downloaded has been deleted by the idiot trying to use it. Shit a brick, I am trashed...... So I wander into a bar. It was great, served me some lovely beer and a plate of food. I have no idea where it was!

Keep it coming!

[Mr Incognito]

But the beat goes on....

Beautiful sunshine in Amsterdam now, but this morning it was sleety snow. After an excellent breakfast at the hotel, I head out in search of hash once more. I go to The Point, wrapped up against the cold and gathering an all-over dusting of wet snow. This is a small locals coffeeshop run by an old Rastafarian guy. He sells at least 3 types of block weed suitable for mixing and two types of hash. Thai weed is 5g for €10 which is the cheapest I am aware of in town. Then he has Thai stick which is 3.5g for €10 and Jamaican at the same price. I got a bag of Jamaican and a €25 bag of Polm 1 which gave 2.7g. The Polm is a beautiful golden brown, pliable and smells spicy. I'm looking forward to trying that!

I think there is technically a smoking room out the back, but I would say this is pretty much a fly & buy place. Anyway, it's close to Wibautstraat metro station and has an interesting menu.

I buy & fly - heading up the street to Los Angeles. Another locals place - this has around half a dozen youngish Moroccans and a few older people. The very friendly BT sells me a piece of his best hash - Tbisla at at €9. If this is as good as the sample last time, I will be well pleased! It is proper old school Moroccan hash - similar in colour to the Polm from Point.

Back out into the snow to find somewhere to sit down for a smoke! I pick up the metro then tram and land at Mr K's. I have been keen to sample some of their outdoor weed (see their menu on Fly by Night's site) and go for the Purple Haze washed down with a fresh mint tea. A friendly local chats with me about the naval rivalry between England and Holland as I skin up a Purple Haze and proceed to do the joint equivalent of a down in one. Normality restored, I wander out into the street and head for the Foodhallen.

A walk and a tram later, I am gawping at too many possibilities in the Foodhallen. This is a really nice place to visit - especially if you have the munchies. I went for Dim Sum and steamed custard buns. Plus a beer. Plus a coffee. Plus a piece of brownie. Plus a cone of spiced cashews. Fat Freddy would have been proud of me. A bit of a stroll and another tram and I am back at the hotel.

Next on the agenda is a sit in the hot tub on the roof. I have said it before and I'll say it again. I love this city! What a place ......

[OneHighMofo]

hot tub on the roof

where is this gaff?

[Mr Incognito]

Volkshotel - it also has a sauna on the roof.

[Mr Incognito]

Sitting in the hot tub today,
Watching the world going by
(To the tune of Dock of the Bay)

Wow. That was cool. I have to stress that this is a drugs free hotel, but I am clearly not the only person who has taken advantage of the rooftop terrace for a crafty one. The hot tubs were hot, and the view is something else. The wind was quite chilly - it was more like a Scandinavian experience than Ibiza - but I feel great now!

I tried the Jamaican mixed with some Polm 1 - a cocktail from the same supplier. The hash is good. It's blonder than I thought on first inspection - that sort of grainy texture - and it tastes and smokes and hits beautifully. The weed has lots of twigs and seeds - disappointing in direct comparison with the Purple Haze of today, but that's not a fair comparison. I'll reconsider when I have tried a bit more of it. The hash is very worthwhile.

2,000 miles I've roamed,
Since I left my northern England home,
etc

[Nuggz]

Great read lad. Volkshotel is great, smart decor, great bar with a lovely view on the 7th floor - canvas.
Lobby is also nice. I do believe you can enjoy a cheeky toke on the terrace in Canvas, or least that's what the staff told me when I inquired.

Also local protip the hot tubs on the roof terrace are open to the public free of charge on Sunday afternoons.

[djreign]

Really enjoying your adventures. Purple haze is a fave of mine. Looking forward to your thoughts on the bit you picked up at Mr K's. I also really liked that place in its former Sanementereng guise. Looks a bit more 'cool' now from pics I've seen ?

[Mr Incognito]

Yes the Purple Haze. It was nice and tasty, smallish flowers, burned really well. Had the day floating along nicely - a king size joint of pure didn't knock me out, just set me up nicely. Mr K is a nice little shop run by an oldish woman - " one of the old school" according to the chatty local. It has a good range of weeds both outdoor and in, and by the looks of the hash that was being weighed out, it was good stuff. Worth a more in-depth study, I would say. The smoking room is upstairs, and they are a bit paranoid about the door being shut properly as they have had a hefty fine from the council.

Mint tea was great at €2 and the menu was as currently shown on FBN's site.

[Mr Incognito]

Not sure I knew where I was headed after the rooftop hot tub smoke. After doing a bit of posting on here I crashed. Next thing I knew, it was four hours later and snowing again. Time for another adventure.

I can see that, in some circles at least, Greenhouse and the individuals behind that whole brand are seen as baddies. However, I really enjoyed those Strainhunters programmes they made (they are on Vice TV and also Youtube), which I found to be a great mix of fun, education and travelogue in some of the most iconic cannabis locations. So when I saw that Franco, one of its presenters and one of those people behind Greenhouse, had died the other day, I thought I would go and show my respects at the Tolstraat branch, about 15 minute's walk from the hotel. I tidied up the last of the Lavender Kush and whatever else was lying around, and headed out into the snow, which had stopped falling by now.

I went past Speak Easy, which is actually the closest shop to where I am staying. It looked like a friendly place full of a mix of locals, with some music playing. I didn't go in - I have way too much already and I am going to Greenhouse. Walking through what is basically the southern edge of De Pijp district, I can see why this is seen as foodie heaven. There are lots of places trying to lure me in with delicious stuff - Tapas, ribs, steak, fish, Indonesian, Indian, Chinese, you name it. Head down and head forward ......

I go past Blue Dolphin - looks promising - and Warda 1, which is doing a lively trade, and stride into Greenhouse. A young couple are in there, buying some prerolls and stuff, and another guy is just finishing a purchase. The menu looks slightly different to the other locations - I got a gram of Damnesia for €12 which is a bit cheaper than on FBN's latest GH menu. As the young couple are paying, the BT says "this note has been used for drug taking". She replies, "What? You can tell?". I dunno, the youth of today. He also inspects my note, which has not been used to shovel Charlie apparently. I ask to be buzzed into the smoking area and he IDs me. Seriously. I am 53 and not in perfect shape. What is this? I don't have my passport with me. I don't get in. Pity.

Blue Dolphin convinces me to have a look, and I pick up 2g of Super Polm for €13. Very friendly Moroccan BT - good hash. Didn't look at the rest of the menu.

A couple of beers and a bar snack later, a quietly constructed doobie is burning in my hand as I stroll over the Amstel and back to the hotel. Optimistically, I put one last number together with the last of the Damnesia and the Blue Dolphin hash, but I find that next to me when I wake, somewhat bleary eyed, at 8.30 this morning. As the recently departed Graham Taylor famously put it, "Do I Not Like That!".

[tinky]

Enjoying your report. Always good to read about shops a little out of the way.

[ShakeTheBud]

Man that google maps bit had me laughing! I remember heaps of times when I desperately tried to get my roaming working, searching for a coffeeshop or some food and finally ending up wandering around.

[Mr Incognito]

I always find that Amnesia leaves me waking up with a somewhat hazy recollection of whatever it was that happened. Or didn't. Or did it? Damnesia would appear to be the same. It served for a bake n bake on the roof, washed down with a cup of coffee. The hash from Blue Dolphin at 2g for €13 is good value! Super Polm.

A shit, a shower and a shoeshine later, I am heading up to Centraal to drop my bags at Drop n Go or whatever the place near Central coffeeshop is called. €5 to store all day. Open until 10. I wander on into the RLD in search of I know not what. Turns out I was extending my Greenhouse tribute because there in front of me is Greenhouse Centrum or whatever they call it. Same menu as the other one, but a euro or two on the prices. I guess the rent and taxes are a bit more in that location! I get a gram of NYC Diesel and roll most of it up into a number at the bar while drinking a peppermint tea. While I am there, the bar staff give various customers a hard time. I am beginning to see why so many people hate Greenhouse! So long Franco! Nice films! Nice strains! Shocking customer service!

The Diesel is actually damn good weed. Well grown and finished. Tasty. Nicely cured. At €15 I would expect nothing less.

So where to next - well that is determined by a couple of errands I need to run, involving shopping, running repairs on key items, etc. I end up out past the Westerkirk a bit lost but in beautiful old streets. Charming. I wonder if there are any coffeeshops out here? In front of me appears Paradox. I was looking for this yesterday but it seemingly didn't exist then. All part of the magic of Amsterdam. I had spotted some outdoor weed on their menu - there were two varieties. Bio Green and Thai. I buy the Bio Green at €7.50. Smokes beautifully with a real nice fruity complex taste to it. Best outdoor weed of the trip.

Back across into town. I need to fill a few more hours. An apple pie and coffee hits the mark. A session of slack-jawed people watching, and the end of the Bio Green fires me over a bridge and into Coffeeshop Solo. I have never even heard of this place - turns out to be good. Two outdoor options - Purple and something else. Both dry and dusty, so I ask what he has that is fresher and end up with the White Widow at £€9.50. This is ok - smokes well but doesn't add much to the drugged up stupor I am wading through. The BT offers to sell €5 of any strain to 2 young lads who come in. Friendly and helpful. Take note Greenhouse! This is how it ought to be done.

So now I find myself back at Schippol after a whistle stop tour of some fine coffeeshops. Some judging yet to come, but I would say best weed was the Lavender Kush from Hunters, best hash it's too soon to say, but the lump from Los Angeles turned out to be the star buy on my last trip (maybe I'll try and write it up ,,,,,,) and I am expecting good things again! Best coffeeshop visited - I liked Mr K, but Paradox had the nicest atmosphere.

Farewell and adieu!

Mr Incognito

[OneHighMofo]

Great write up! Really enjoyable and man that's made me itchy for a trip of my own. Some lovely moments in there that raised more than a grin
Bravo!