Episode XIIII - Fiets crew, assemble!

[OneHighMofo]

I think I must be a maschochist. There's no real justification for a wake up call set for 2am is there? I could get a later flight - I definitely could.

But the excited little fellow that lives in my stash box doesn't sleep well on days like these. In fact he sleeps especially badly on those nights that the lad is sending letters full of characteristic cheek and charm with news of treasures already found, ready and waiting. The stuffs that will grease the gears of our hunger - supplies for the coming safari.

So he figures he may as well be on the move as early as possible. Screw the sensible option. Get the red-eye. Sleep is for the weak and all that. A couple of hours will do he tells himself - must rest.

He ignores the phones blips and burps for a while. He knows who they're from.
Tossing and turning.
An hour later.
Still awake.
He checks the messages.
He's right.
The messages make him laugh out loud but do nothing to inspire rest.
She stirs.
The dog farts. (Sorry that bit isn't true but something had to bring an end to this self absorbed writing in the first person eh?)
In the end - rest he did. For a little while at least.
Dreams of Amsterdam.
When?
Bleep bleep bleep.
Now!

So.
The red-eye again.
A familiar smirk.
A familiar feeling.
Stark lighting in this bunnies stoned and tired eyes all of a sudden.
Hood up. Shelter. Ahh that's better.
The dabs are settling in nicely and making it all go away.

The canna caps swallowed before leaving the house are working their way slowly through my system - a brief taste of coconut oil in the back of the throat is a gentle reminder that I have perhaps a good hour or so before they hit. Should be smooth sailing. Wake me when Mokum calls mr trolley dolly.

For the last few years I've been enjoying a reccurring dream that has a changing narrative but unfolds within a familiar, yet fantastical setting. Myself and and an ever changing cast of others rolling around an historic city with warren like streets. Adventures good or bad; Sometimes an odd mix of both play out in the same or similar streets. Always in that city. Never the same view twice but always the same ambience.

Upon awaking I always remark that it doesn't quite look, but it does most definitely feel like our beloved. There are no canals, no coffee shops; but the fabric of the place is there somehow. Perhaps in the colour of the stories that play out? Slightly silly, seedy, woolly and weird. It's indescribable as all good dreams are. But I know for sure that it's my minds stored version of mokum. I love to go there. It's special. I hate coming back. Waking up. I don't go there tonight. No need.

In the real world there's often a moment before each trip where i anticipate some buyers remorse at the cost and frequency of these visits to my (our) lady Amsterdam. I often wonder if I should perhaps be more mature and frugal? I wonder if I'll ever grow tired of her as some do?

Im glad to say It doesn't seem so.
That moment came and went in a fleeting second this afternoon when I finished work; wrote up the last day of the 420 report and gave myself a break. Reminded myself that feeding the soul makes for good all round health. Allowed myself to enjoy, reminded myself that life is good. And that It's for getting out there and having a laugh with like minds. And that my friends is exactly what I'm en route for...

The sun is coming up. My caps are kicking in. Keep up reader, I'm coming in hot.
Amsterdam bitches - woop woop!

[Old Timer]

You sir, know how to write! I even noticed a semi-colon.
Great start, looking forward to the rest.
Have a great time!

[spidergawd]

/\/\ what he said. I do like a bit of good grammar and punctuation.

Have a great time all of you.

[OneHighMofo]

Thanks for that guys I do love a good semi-colon. Very useful indeed.

Was met by nugs upon arrival and spiked with syrup in HSB! What a welcome. Edibles and dabs for breakfast.

ChopperMike and Mr CC in attendance. Game on.

[macky]

Have fun brother

[avfc-herbalist]

Have a brilliant time mate

[LLMReb]

Have a great time! I admit I was starting to think that I visit AMS more often than I should. Now im Paris I am reminded of all the reasons AMS is my favorite city in Europe.

Y'all have fun!

[Papi]

Have a great time! I admit I was starting to think that I visit AMS more often than I should. Now im Paris I am reminded of all the reasons AMS is my favorite city in Europe.

Y'all have fun!

Compared to Paris, every city looks better:D

[OneHighMofo]

The sun is out when I land - always a happy moment. I’m shooting through Schipol - first off the plane. Bag is first on the carousel and Nugs is already on the blower asking for a location. He’s scheming an early wake and bake session before he heads of to work. So a quick train journey later (come on Swiss couple at the ticket machines - it’s not rocket science, yes yes I’ll help. No you won’t need all that money - holy fuck how expensive are train journeys in Switzerland?) and I’m shooting out of Central station and heading directly for Warmoestraat.

It’s great to see the cheeky bastard as ever. We settle into the window seat downstairs at Hill Street Booze and he promptly smacks down the remainder of his last bottle of THC syrup. What a star. Oh and some other products expertly procured from the scene in preparation for my arrival. What a gent.
We both chuck in a dose of the syrup and chase that with a bunch of dabs right out of the gate. Zero to hero in 5 minutes. Quite a start.

Pretty soon Mr CC arrives and we’re stronger still - chats, dabs and doobs abound it feels amazing to be back. ChopperMike arrives pretty soon and Mrs CC will be along shortly. Now we’ve got us a convoy.

The Deep concentrations 24k and kosher dawg shatter which have magically landed on the table in front of me are both top shelf offerings.
Excellent taste transfer on both and a beautiful smooth finish. I also manage to procure a large 3g bag of Lemnesia and a similarly sized bag of OJ OG. The scene is set. All is well. The canalside delivers.



By this time Nugs is as baked as a billygoat and his day grafting for the man is looking seriously shaky. Thankfully his hours are flexible and his fate sealed. Crispyness is inevitable.
I load him another dab and pass him another doob. Deal sealed.

After a few Green Teas and once the glow of the syrup is starting to allow functional movement - I start to get itchy feet. It’s getting on for early afternoon and I’ve not made many (any) moves yet. It feels a bit odd to be so stationary so I leave my bag with the gang and I Mike and I head off on foot to score a bike.
Linda at Star Bikes is lovely as ever and I procure a great little steed. Quite modern this time for a change so I’m afforded a smooth ride and working brakes. Fantastic.
Nugs and crew are still in place so we cruise back to them - grab the posse and we all head off together (via dropping my bag at the storage spot next to Batavia as I get the impression I won’t be checking in any time soon - there are already plans for coffeeshop tours afoot).
When I get out there’s talk of rumbling bellies so we scheme a pit-stop at La Grotte on Haarlemmerstraat to tank up on bog-standard grub (and more dabs) before the day kicks off proper.

Picture the scene:
As we’re happily and quietly enjoying our grub sat up on the mezzanine there, I’m literally just about to do a dab when one of the staff shoots up the stairs with a panicked look on his face and delivers the legend:
“GAS LEAK EVERYONE OUT”.

Fuck me.

It’s worth noting that we’re not exactly small as a crew, there are five of us and a few big’n’s in the squad and you have never seen flesh move so fast in your life - papers, lighters, dabbers, sausages and all sorts go flying as all five of us bolt for the door. There’s mad panic outside and people are confusingly wandering in and out. It’s total bedlam. I turn around to find myself stood alone - fiets crew are nowhere to be seen! Have they been vaporised? Have i dreamed the whole thing?

I”m totally battered and more than a bit shell-shocked by the sudden movements. It feels like ages before everyone is back and normal service resumes. The staff tell its it’s safe (yeah right) So we tentatively go back inside, settle up and head off. My dabber/carb cap went flying across the room in the melee and is nowhere to be seen but I think we’re all glad to have our limbs intact so I chalk that one up the gods of fuckery. I make a mental note to come back later when things have calmed down and ask if they’ve found it.

Finally we’re off and I’m stating to feel like the hunt is on. Nugs is a gracious host as ever and facilitates much cat herding to various locations he is clearly less than impressed at frequenting. I’m dead keen to get some miles beneath my wheels and a varied stash in my pocket however so we cruise along five strong.

First stop Coffeeshop Spirit as I’ve never been.
I had a look at the menu, sniffed a couple of tubs but nothing took my fancy. The guy was an asshole about it too which was a shame. I’m sure he’s used to people just buying whatever he sticks under their noses but this crew is less forgiving. They were good prices though and it was a nice place I would have definitely stopped for a smoke. I think Mr CC may have bought something (that’s a sentence one could repeat A LOT. That lad is practically incapable of walking past a menu without buying hash) but I can’t be sure.

Next on the list is Bronx. It’s another no buy as the exceptionally traditional menu just isn’t cheap enough to warrant a buy. I don’t think any of us bought here.

On we hop to Coffeeshop Johnny. Another nice shop that I’d definitely like to go back to for a chill. The menu was very well priced. I’d say 80-90% of the menu was priced under a tenner!
I didn’t buy anything. I think Mr CC may have though and I seem to remember ChopperMike picking up a bag of something?

1e hulp is just around the corner so we may as well look at the menu. The new shop fit looked good but we didn’t stop for a smoke. I bought Bruce banner at €15 (ssd x og)
Which had an absolutely terrible flush as usual. I’d picked out a 2g nug as it looked beautiful and had a hugely meaty nose. Sweet spice with a minty and sour fruit finish. I didn’t regret the purchase because through the vape she was fantastic. She had decent texture and moisture levels - it was just a real shame about that finish. I have no idea what the growers for this place are playing at but I’m done burning their products until they improve dramatically.
6.6 marked down for a poor finish and a high price.

We’re heading South essentially - why I can’t quite remember now. But South it was. Easy Times is close so I buy a gram of cherry kush at €12 which turns out to be great value.
This is a lovely little bag of cherry lifesaver flavoured flowers. She’s biscuity and sweet but with enough herbal floral savoury notes to balance out the profile nicely. Texturally she’s spongy so it still needs grinding but this bag is scoring pretty high. I’m often hugely underwhelmed by anything supposed to be cherry flavoured but this one is spot on. Better than the bag I bought at Dampkring a few trips ago.
7.6 best buy of the day so far

We don’t stop at Easy Times either - no ones seems that keen to stop and I’m happy to keep shopping. I really like shopping for weed - it’s such an amazing feeling that I never tire of. The choice, the experience, the freedom. I don’t even consider the cost usually but this trip I’m specifically trying to find good value. I had romantic notions of shopping at the <€10 mark but never quite seem to manage it due to some uninspiring tubs offered up to ones snout.

Noon is next. They have Somari on at €11 and she’s a favourite of mine - especially if you find an NYCD leaning pheno she’s super complex and tasty with a crazy smooth smoke.
This is a great example - it has lovely texture there’s no need to grind for the vape, finger-crunch-o-rama. Oh and that flavour! Red grapefruit and sweet mint with a clean diesel finish. No dank flavours here.
7.9 a great price for a 10/11 week lady.

It’s practically next door so I pull the crew inside Superskunk - Nugs knows the BT who happens to be selling ‘dabs’ at €90 to €120 a gram.
Firstly - I hate ‘dabs’ being used as a noun. Pet hate - yes I’m a grammar Nazi. Deal with it.
We dab BHO, we take a dab, we dab rosin. We DO NOT smoke dabs. Dab is a verb. A doing word. See me after class.
Anyway - aside from that. The product is STUPID expensive and does not smell like concentrated Cannabis. Fail.
AND this shop is still on my shit-list for continually stocking that fake arse Apple and Strawberry flavoured flower. AND from banning me from their Instagram for asking why they continued to stock and sell it. So fuck that shop. Shame it’s in such a nice spot.

We’re cycling further South heading for De Pijp. Into De Graal! Amazing surprise that Nugs has been scheming for a few days the little tinker.
There’s no product on offer and the place has been simplified somewhat but it still has great character. We set up shop upstairs and settle in for a well earned sesh. We’ve hit tons of shops and the crew needs to schmoke. Thanks again nugs for facilitating the tour. It would have been a much longer job without your expert direction.

We leave De Graal around 8pm. The chap thanks us for our custom and lures us back with the best quote of the day in a thick french accent.
“You come back when we are up and running - maybe some wine, maybe a little Quiche no?”
Of course my Gallic friend of course. Your cup is plentiful, godly and golden. We love you.


At this point I decide that I may as well check in to the hotel as it’s just a short ride north on the edge of the Weteringschans. I’m happy to note that it is actually there and they do have a room for me. Phew - it is WAY too late in the day to be finding digs as I am one stoned little bunny and have been awake since 2am and going HARD since 10am.
The crew whistle off into the sunset - I bid them farewell and freshen up.

An hour or so later we all convene on the Bat Cave for the days main event.
Suffice to say I do not remember a goddamm thing - I do know that I bought some weed at Voyagers (no clue what) and that I ended up drinking nearly a full bottle of Syrup over 4-5 hours. That’s a full gram of shatter. Dear me. Cycling to the hotel was a TRIP - quite literally. I had actual tunnel vision and genuinely felt like I was floating. Worse yet I’d collected my stupid sized bag from the luggage spot so was weighed down by that and wobbling all over the shop. I nearly knocked a chap on a scooter off his steed (I’ll get the fucker next time - assholes they are riding at 30mph in the cycle lanes) by turning around at some lights while stood stationary with the cretinous thing flopping about. He’s not impressed - oops. *edit* actually that may have happened earlier in the day come to think of it

Once back and showered I feel somewhat sober. Clearly I’m not as it’s now 2:00am and I have literally been hammering cannabis for 24 hours. But I still neck the rest of the Syrup as a nightcap. "I reckon I'll feel that tomorrow" is the last thing my tiny mind feebly regurgitates.
COMA. What a day!

[spidergawd]

Brilliant, you're a quality scribe matey.

[Fat_old_dwarf]

It’s practically next door so I pull the crew inside - Nugs knows the BT who happens to be selling ‘dabs’ at €90 to €120 a gram.
Firstly - I hate ‘dabs’ being used as a noun. Pet hate - yes I’m a grammar Nazi. Deal with it.
We dab BHO, we take a dab, we dab rosin. We DO NOT smoke dabs. Dab is a verb. A doing word. See me after class.
Anyway - aside from that. The product is STUPID expensive and does not smell like concentrated Cannabis. Fail.
AND this shop is still on my shit-list for continually stocking that fake arse Apple and Strawberry flavoured flower. AND from banning me from their Instagram for asking why they continued to stock and sell it. So fuck that shop. Shame it’s in such a nice spot.

It's probably just me, but I can't work out which shop this is -- Noon, or the one you went to after it? The nearest shops to it are the ones around Leidseplein, now that Mellow Yellow and Little are shut.

[OneHighMofo]

Edit made thanks FoD. The offending shop selling flowers of dubious repute or oils of dubious quality for exceptionally high prices is Superskunk and I am delighted to be able to call them out without fear of being censored!

€120 p/g for oil is essentially €20/30 per gram for the 'flower' or more likely trim! that constitutes the oil.

Utterly ridiculous when it looks like poop soup (and smells like nothing).

Thanks spidey much appreciated mate I hope that you're doing well.

[choppermike]

OneHigh is sorting out the paperwork from the last trip ! This can only mean one thing - There's a trip plan germinating. Makes nice reading Brother.

[OneHighMofo]

OneHigh is sorting out the paperwork from the last trip ! This can only mean one thing - There's a trip plan germinating. Makes nice reading Brother.

You know me too well brother Do you have any travels plans in the near future?

[avfc-herbalist]

Excellent read as always that is quite the first day mate ! Unfortunately Superskunk isn't the only shop that sells that shitty fake flavoured weed. High Time sold apple haze and strawberry haze which smelt like hubba bubba but luckily I think that shop is closed now. Popeyes Vanilla Kush is a bit too vanilla as well! Real shame shops do that! Thanks for writing it up mate .