I think i included everyone?

Sir Niall of Essex-sire · Wed 16th Dec 2009 04:05 pm

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have a president without electing him.
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be president.
5. If you’ve got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
7. You get to be really obese.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you’ve never met "buddy".
10. You can think you’re the greatest nation on earth with condom on.

TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24-hour ozone-hole radiation the other half.
4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
5. You can go skiing in your knickers.
6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football.
7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
8. You don’t need to worry about land prices rocketing – it’s fairly spacious.
9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and shagging penguins – and they believe you.
10. You can actually get bored with blondes.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.
2. Warm beer.
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5. Union jack underpants.
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week – whether you need to or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear.
10. Beats being Welsh.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH
1. You ain’t English!
2. You ain’t English!
3. You ain’t English!
4. You ain’t English!
5. You ain’t English!
6. You ain’t English!
7. You ain’t English!
8. You ain’t English!
9. You ain’t English!
10. You ain’t English!

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history prior to 400AD.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend’s armpit hair.
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it’s the real thing.
6. Honesty.
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
8. You get to eat bull’s testicles.
9. Gibraltar.
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Ok, give them a second chance
1. Oktoberfest.
2. Okotberfest-beer.
3. BMW.
4. VW.
5. Audi.
6. Mercedes.
7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world.
8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet).

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
1. Chicken Madras.
2. Lamb Passanda.
3. Onion Bhaji.
4. Bombay Potato.
5. Chicken Tikka Masala.
6. Rogan Josh.
7. Popadoms.
8. Chicken Dopiasa
9. Kingfisher lager.
10. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when talking.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
1. You’ve got to be having a laugh, haven’t you?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
1. Guinness.
2. 18 children because you can’t use contraceptives.
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone’s road.
4. Pubs never close.
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can’t have sex with a condom on.
6. No one can ever remember the night before.
7. Kill people you don’t agree with.
8. Stew.
9. More Guinness.
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings soar.
7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
1. Know your great grand dad was a murdering bar steward that no civilized nation on earth wanted.
2. Fosters Lager.
3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK
1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes.
2. The police are even more corrupt than the criminals they are supposed to be chasing.
3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around retching their stomach contents up at the sight.
4. Old women can sport moustaches.
5. Young women can sport moustaches.
6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put in a zoo.
7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of the world sees it as an instrument of torture.
8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants to let everyone else around the world know about it.
9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.
10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.

Toker70 · Post by **Toker70** » Wed 16th Dec 2009 04:13 pm

LOL very good
But for the Irish one i think No1 should be Clueless Cops

Pauli Wallnuts · Post by **Pauli Wallnuts** » Wed 16th Dec 2009 05:21 pm

very good

i think englands no1 though should be the same as americas no1

Kermit · Post by **Kermit** » Wed 16th Dec 2009 10:26 pm

but Union Jack underpants, thats british not english

geoffk · Post by **geoffk** » Wed 16th Dec 2009 10:37 pm

Sir Niall of Essex-sire wrote:TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have a president without electing him.
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be president.
5. If you’ve got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
7. You get to be really obese.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you’ve never met "buddy".
10. You can think you’re the greatest nation on earth with condom on.

One of the local dispensaries is next door to a gun shop.

TRANCE · Post by **TRANCE** » Wed 16th Dec 2009 10:40 pm

How does the saying go.........

To be English is to belong to the most exclusive club there is in the world.

DC · Post by DC » Wed 16th Dec 2009 10:42 pm

Kermit wrote: but Union Jack underpants, thats british not english

I think you'll find that it's only an english person that would wear Union Jack trunks, the rest of Britain wouldn't be caught dead in a pair!.

Sir Niall of Essex-sire · Wed 16th Dec 2009 11:44 pm

DC wrote:I think you'll find that it's only an english person that would wear Union Jack trunks, the rest of Britain wouldn't be caught dead in a pair!.

Na, Union Jack swimmers is too trashy.

That however is pure class.

TRANCE · Post by **TRANCE** » Wed 16th Dec 2009 11:59 pm

^very 60's MOD fashion, rather like the flag on the back of MOD parkas^

Boner · Post by **Boner** » Thu 17th Dec 2009 02:16 am

I have a pair of these:

TRANCE · Post by **TRANCE** » Thu 17th Dec 2009 02:17 am

Sir Niall of Essex-sire wrote:
DC wrote:I think you'll find that it's only an english person that would wear Union Jack trunks, the rest of Britain wouldn't be caught dead in a pair!.
Na, Union Jack swimmers is too trashy.

That however is pure class.

Hate to be pedantic, but the Union Jack is upside down on that shirt.
Just saying.

spidergawd · Post by **spidergawd** » Thu 17th Dec 2009 09:31 am

Sir N, you make me larf

Trance wrote;

Hate to be pedantic,

I believe you can still get arrested for that in some parts of the world man.

liquidSwords · Post by **liquidSwords** » Thu 17th Dec 2009 10:36 am

What about the French ?????? Handballs and Garlic?????

hippy_man99 · Post by **hippy_man99** » Thu 17th Dec 2009 10:48 am

what about the DUTCH?!? we are on the Amsterdam coffeeshop directory here...

baked · Post by **baked** » Thu 17th Dec 2009 10:57 am

what about the dutch?

Amsterdam Coffeeshop Directory Forums

I think i included everyone?

I think i included everyone?

Re: I think i included everyone?