Not Amsterdam...Jamaica!

RollUp · Post by **RollUp** » Sat 12th Jun 2010 09:32 pm

It's not a Dam logue so I'll try to keep it simple.

Day 1

uneventful plane ride. Got to the airport around 4pm. Went to the tour desk to find my bus and they hooked me right up. The gentleman who walked the Mrs and I out was jabbering on about something or other when he asked if I smoked. Whenever someone asks me that, like a true pothead I reply "Not cigarettes!". So the guy says "Well shit, i'll tell your driver to get you right!" So he introduces us to our driver, Norman. We hop on the bus with ten other tourists and get going. 5 minutes later Norman pulls off at this little shack/reststop. He says it is a bathroom break and so a few peeps jump off to go. he hops off too and I (once again as a true pothead) see him make a "transaction" with some old dude. He jumps on the bus and he hands me what I think is a quarter ounce. It was totally on the down low (Jamaica isn't as open about it as you'd think). I asked him the price and he said 80US. Not wanting to go without for a week I payed the man. Well it was an hour to our hotel with Norman driving like a fuckin' bat out of hell. My pocket started reekin'. I ended up holding my pocket closed the entire ride it got so bad. Got to our resort, Club Ambiance (10/10 and less expensive than most). Broke out the weed and out of the bag it just fluffed up and when i broke it apart it was like 3/4 of an ounce. Sweet deal, Sweet weed. Tasted like the shit I get at home, just far more flavorful and a lot more Tric's. I don't know about you in Europe but in America we have "Mids" which is mid grade and on the Mids scale I give it a 9/10.

Day 2

Chilled around the resort. Fucking amazing food. I ate so healthy while I was there.

Day 3

Dunn's River Falls. An incredible experience. Jamaica Night Show at the resort, insane!

Day 4

Chilled around the resort some more.

Day 5

Took an 2 hour bus tour to 9 mile, the final resting place of Bob Marley. Our guide, Ras-Shocka, was a member of the Ethiopian Orthodox and we learned so much about real Rastafarian culture.
Arrived at the compound (for lack of a better word). Immediately upon arrival you are shown to a little hole in the wall where sits a man named Bruce Lee. He stacks the windowsill with fat ass joints twice as big as a grown man's thumb. He also has bags out that are equalish to the one I got from Norman. The Fat joints are 10US and and the bags are 40. He also has chocolate spacecake and ganja tea.
The Mrs and I proceed to buy a slice of cake, two teas, and 3 fat joints. The names he gave his weeds were "high grade" "blueberry" and "pineapple skunk"...all bullshit of course. I should have helped him out and gave him some new strain names!
First I MUST MENTION: Save all your spending money for the Bob Marley Masuoleum! By your weed from Bruce Lee, best prices unless you go into the jungle! The souvenirs here are less than half of what they charge everywhere else. Tshirts are 5 for 20US and better quality than elsewhere.
Back to the story..I was urged by Ras-Shocka to light my joint. The tour itself is great. You stop at the bar then proceed to meet Bob's cousin for a stop and sing! Then you enter the gates to Mt. Zion. Stop to see his grandparents and uncles graves. At the top you remove your footwear. You enter his brother's mausoleum and then Bob's where you make a revolution around it with a lit candle. Then you get to see his little house and take pics during the stop and sing! Next up is the rock where he sat and wrote. Everyone was scared to go first for the photo op so me being me I sat on the rock and blew out the biggest cloud of smoke I could while Mrs Rollup took my photo. Everyone laughed and got loose after that. We finished the tour and left the compound. If you go, bring lots of one dollars for the begger children.

We stopped at the Ultimate Jerk Center on the way back. We fucking demolished the food. I forgot to mention that we were beyond high at this point. We had eaten the cake and smoked two joints during the tour. We proceeded back to the resort and said sad goodbyes to Ras-Shocka. Drank the Tea later, it was good, a nice soft buzz (as vegans, the Rasta don't use any animal fat to bind the THC..just a little coconut water).

Day 6

Went to Mystic Mountain. Rode the Sky Explorer up to the top, great views. Rode the Bobsled coaster pedal to the metal and it was such a rush. Had lunch and picked up some stuff in the gift shop. Dropped off our bags with the attendants and got geared up for Ziplining. That shit was amazing. First you do three different ziplines down partway. Then you stop and they do a vertical freefall (We had some older ladies in our group, hilarious screamers). Then you do two more Zips with a photo on the last one. This gets you to halfway down the mountain and you take the sky explorer the rest of the way. Amazing day.

Day 7

Chilled around the resort. Eating, getting stoned, eating some more, laying on the beach, eating again, getting stoned, listening to the pcean and reggae.

Day 8

Smoked the rest of the weed and was properly fucked up the entire way to the airport. Long bitch of a day flying home. Got in the front door to be greeted by our kitties who had missed us terribly.

It's not Amsterdam but Everyone needs to go to Jamaica. It is a wonderful world.

Boner · Post by **Boner** » Sat 12th Jun 2010 10:59 pm

Sounds awesome, thanks for sharing.

schererbuzz · Post by **schererbuzz** » Sat 12th Jun 2010 11:07 pm

Sounds killer. Are they still raising hell over there?? I haven't see it in the news for a week or so now.

Iko · Post by **Iko** » Sat 12th Jun 2010 11:39 pm

We were Jamaica bound about 6 weeks back when things went nuts over there with the U.S. wanting to arrest Coke and his gang.
Embassy pretty much canceled all flights

.
Oh well we put the money towards extending our Amsterdam trip.
Your report is awesome, really makes me sad we missed out, hopefully next winter we can try again.
I've heard and seen videos of the epic palm hash they have, really really want some.

RollUp · Post by **RollUp** » Sun 13th Jun 2010 12:34 am

The only thing we heard about Kingston was that the excursions out there were canceled. I don't think you miss much by skipping Kingston, all the best stuff is on the North Coast and over in Negril.

In my opinion, Coke is already in protective custody. He won't want to go out like his father.

geekymonkey · Post by **geekymonkey** » Sun 13th Jun 2010 08:05 am

Thanks for sharing- it sounds like a great trip!

damtoker · Post by **damtoker** » Sun 13th Jun 2010 08:17 pm

Nice trip that sounds and a very good read!

Can't beat toking in the tropics!

$80 US for 3/4 Oz? definitely tourist rate - get to know a local and you'll get a full carrier bag for $20.

Still - who gives a hoot when you can toot?!

islandgurl · Post by **islandgurl** » Sun 13th Jun 2010 08:54 pm

Great reading, Rollup, sounds like you had a blast. Ocho Rios rocks and I love Dunn's River Falls as well! Climbed the falls once to show myself I could do it, but never again... have seen too many people get hurt after going there a good 7 times now.

The Bob Marley Tour is fantastic and I know what you mean about the driving and those roads; they all seem to drive like that when they go up into the mountains. Ever notice they're all cousins too?

the driver would be waving to people who were yelling at him and he'd say "Oh that's my cousin". Man ended up saying it about 10 times lol

I was shocked at the throngs of people holding huge stalks of buds trying to sell them to the tourists from over the 'compound' gate, but shocked in a cool way.

Yeah stay away from Kingston and Montego Bay - opt for Ocho Rios or Negril, much more decent with less crime.

CHELSEA_SMOKERS_SOCIETY · Mon 14th Jun 2010 02:56 pm

awesome!