So this is the general story-line of my trip:
I arrived at the Amsterdam train station at about 10.30 in the night.
Set out towards the general direction of the park i had a room next to, got some directiones and started walking.
Got sent through a sister street of the red light district and smelled my way into a coffeeshop with a pissing dog logo outside and some rather tired looking clientelle XD
The staff was rather rude and unhelpfull But the weed was amazing and the drinks were ok.
So I got 1 gram of bubble gum and rolled up a fattie 2/3 with weed and 1/3 with tobacco.
I smoked, finished my drink and kept on walking towards the park I was supposed to find, knocked over a few bikes (there's bikes bloody everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE) and had to pick the bikes back up and all in the middle of a quite crowded square.
Had to dance around pickpockets the entire time I was there (the only thing there's more of then bicycles XD).
So I walked for 5-6 hours completely stoned out of my skull and finally stumbled into the right place at 3-4 at night.
I checked in and locked everything valuable into a locker and sat down outside proceeding to get completely knocked of my feet just staring into space for a few hours while smoking and thinking about getting some water XD
So one funny thing about the Dam is that you can supposedly just drink the water from the spring and it's no problem yet they wont give you water in a glass if your looking as fucked as I did since they can sell you these tiny bloody bottles that actually costs you all from 4 euros and down and dosn't even satisfy the thirst in that humid a climate.
So I woke up the day after still completely fucking stoned at about 7.40 in the morning.
Got downstairs, found they had a big breakfast going that was included in the hotel cost and I was going to digg in and fill up but it turned out I couldn't get down more then 2 slices of bread with something on and a bowl of some cereal.
So I washed, brushed my teeth, rolled a fattie and started walking again
Stumbled across a coffee shop somewhere closer to the centre of town after a few hours and got enough weed to last me the rest of the day and then some XD
So I walked that entire day, seeing waste amounts of the city and sitting down to talk to people I can't remember anything about except them trying to get behind me to grab at my bags all the time so I kept walking ^^
I saw a lot of cannals and weird achitecture all over the place, slanted and twisted buildings and all sorts of stuff that would basically be perfect for tripping balls on mushroom or lsd or something else psychadelic
Ended the day by sitting outside the hotel again simply getting completely smashed and trying to talk to some truffle tripping people sitting around and this weird homeless person showing up to flash his underwear and bum puffs of everybody.
So, day 3.... I was starting to get a bit tired by now but managed to get up in about 10 in the morning, to late for breakfast so I wobbled downstairs, got a soda, wondered a bit about dehydration then rolled a joint, brushed my teeth, washed up and started walking again.
By now it should be painfully clear that I have probably seen more of Amsterdam then anyone does by visiting the place 20 times as I have been walking all over but I've been so stoned I wont remember half of it XD
Found an amazing place to sit and smoke by a canal with lot's of house boats, birds and lush bush/shrubbery hanging into the canal.
Still most people didn't wan't to start any conversationes with me as I was walking around really tired and amazingly stoned for having smoked for 2 /12 days straight, basically looking sweaty and trippy the whole day with wild hair sticking everywhere and me not being able to form more then 2 sentences at a time XD
Ended up walking for that entire day seeing a lot of the city that I can't remember and visited 4-5 coffeeshops that was all pretty tiresome places where i had to check my pockets all the time, buy something and get on legging it, good weed almost all around but the prices differed a lot, only place i got bad weed during the entire trip was a place called "The paradox" that sold some skanky ass thai bush that didn't even work properly on a vaporizer..
Still it gave me the opportunity to wake up a bit between then and my next fat doobie XD
Ended the night by smoking outside the hotel again and gave away 7 baggies with leftover weed in them because I was simply starting to get way to much for what I could posssibly manage to smoke with limited amounts of water and eyes never getting bigger then slits XD
Suddenly got a burst of wakefulness from some sort of uppity and nice weed and decided to rent a bicycle for the first time in the middle of the night in Amsterdam and did that.
I had to jogg to this kind of bike place where they had the damn tings and it was not easy to find, being stoned and looking for a place hidden around 3 succecive corners, but I found it just before closing time at midnight and got myself a bike.
Ofcourse they gave me the heaviest bike ever (which is quite usual in Amsterdam so that pople won't bother to steal it) which had heavy double chain locks like you wouldn't believe and they need them because of all the bike thieves.
I rode the bicycle around town for some hours just following the traffic that was extremely accepting towards bikers which basically get's first rights on everything traffic connected.
The bike ofcourse wasn't adjusted to my height or inflated for my weight so it was heavy as hell riding around as I couldn't be bothered to fix it before the day after XD
Stumbled upon a coffeeshop where they told me it was a local hangout and they had great weed for a deacent price, like some amazing bubble gum and lemon haze.
Still though, I was to stoned to be able to properly talk to people without scaring or bothering them so I got back to biking XD
I'll look it up later to see if I can remember what the place is called.
Ended up in front of the hotel talking to some people there again before climbing inside to get some sleep about 3-4 at night XD
Did get an ice-cream before going to bed, that being important because it's the most substansial nourishment I got in 3 days, plus probably only drinking 1 litre of fluid if that a day as I was not willing to pay for bottled water from the damn spring XD
Day 4, I had the bicycle till almost midnight (24 hours for 11.50 euros)
So i rode the bicycle for that entire day, ofcourse being completely stoned I found a lot of great reastaurants, interesting and a bit of the touristy path kind of places to sit and relax and a lot of other goodies since it all flyes by quite fast on a bike, that's deffinately the way to travel in that town as you can see the entire town in a week or two if your sober XD
A lot of people tried to pick my pockets since I looked so completely f-ed up and was driving a slow bike really slowly at times XD
The most complicated scam was basically a whole group cycling up on each side of me trying to sandwich me in while a chick threw herself at a car pretending to have been hit by the car while the rest was trying to go for my stuff, almost worked that one to since I really had to look if she was really hurt even though i knew she faked it.
Then outside some science museum thingie that was twisitng in all different kinds of directions I meet a black couple claiming to be from Georgia in the US while having horribly fake dialects and talking about how they always got aggressive when they smoked pot while having some stereo-typical movie style crazy-eye stare the whole time XD
Still couldn't figure out if they were actually from the US or not.
I then hit up 3-4 coffeeshops actually finding a few quiete ones where one could sit and relax while smoking.
I also found a nice restauranty place where I ate ice-cream and had some heavely good coffee, then I suddenly realized I had just crahed a birthday party that was being held at the place...
And I was barely able to even communicate for what I wanted to eat and drink while just sitting there and moaning and making weird sounds in delight from the food while people was watching me weirdly XD
Hell, they even put on on a table all the way by the curb right next to a damn car and some parked bikes
I'll see if I can't find the name for that place as well.
Ended that day a bit earlier sitting outside the hotel smoking and being completely exhausted from walking around from 3 days and cycling for a night and a day, but then they came out and told me that I had to move into the park which I did (I think they told me that the night before to but I hadn't been lucid enough to realise) Xd
Sat in the park smoking, having a few shady characters running over to me to try and bum money, cigarettes, weed and whatever else I might have, it was like swatting away flies by throwing weed at em since none of them really had anything to talk about.
Found out that hell, it's only like 10 in the evening so I started walking towards that local coffeeshop place that I found, ended up taking me well over an hour, hell maybe even two to get there as the last time I went there was on a bike, got some excellent weed there but was so stoned and tired that I just sat in the basement being completely blitzed not really talking to anyone except the blonde waitress that kept having a weird discussion upstairs about how she didn't want to end up with a lazy useless Norwegian like that for the rest of her life XD
Do think I offended the locals sitting upstairs eating as they had some sort of rammadan celebration and was offering me food but me not feeling comfortable taking charity when sober even when it is somebodys custom things got a bit strange.
So I decided to turn it down when stoned as I figured I'd offend someone by saying something stupid beeing as I was completely stoned of my rocks and tired as hell, these boys all being muslim and for some reason calling me marichone, probably because I just managed to mumble some excuse and turned around to roll a spliff when they were offering me food and I had just said I was really tired and hungry XD
They were saying something like: They'd share with anyone poor or hungry on ramadan, but beeing as stoned as I was, explaining my views on handouts seemed to difficult so I think I just said "well, see I'm not poor so I feel i should pay for something"
Not exactly communtication that either since I could hardly focus on aything but rolling :/
Somewhere around 1 o'clock at night when they were closing I started stumbling back, finally found the hotel at about 2-3, sat outside smoking up the last bits of weed I had, talked to a giant of a black american teenager that basically dwarfed me in height, still he couldn't handle the amount of weed I was smoking and had to stumble inside XD
Gave away some more weed and had a longer talk with a person I couldn't figure out if was gay or not so around 4-5 at night I found a way to ditch that fellow after giving him some weed and good wishes for the rest of his trip, seeing as I am not gay and couldn't figure out if he wanted company or not.
Then I comatosed into sleep on top of the rickity double bed I had to sleep on top of with a teenage girl underneath trying to stay asleep while I was fumbling around in the bed on top making the whole frame quiver every time I moved a centimetre XD
Day 5, last day.
I got a wake up call so that I was barely able to stumble downstairs 10 minutes before check-out at 11 in the morning and got to legging it through town slowly moving towards the centraal train station, stopping at reataurants and coffeeshops here and there and eating excellent food, having good drinks and smokes, and all of a sudden (10 hours later XD) I was sitting on the train to the airport wondering if I would have time to check in and get really fucking high before going back XD
So the check in was horrible, being the only check-in line in the entire airport that had a line, and that line took about 40-50 minutes of slow shuffle to reach the end of.
After finally getting through the check-in, walking past angry looking people in berrettes with machineguns and having to leave my bag in an open cage in the middle of the check-in area I jogged downstairs to use up my last euroes on some salad, drinks and other stuff, went outside and rolled two really fat joints, had some food and puffed down a gram or so.
Ended with leaving two full packs of tobacco and a bag with about a gram of weed on the sidewalk so I wouldn't be bothered in customs and someone else could enjoy the good upon exiting the airport.
The plane ride back was interesting, bumpey and damn hot, sweating the entire way back but all together good.
Got stopped at the airport at home in customs and was laughing and talking the entire time being completely fucked while this police chick was fumbling through my backpack looking for dope XD
So these would be my conclusiones:
Amsterdam is amazing, it would probably be the best if I wasn't so damn stoned the whole time I was there, so smoking a lot less weed the next time is priority number one.
Riding a bicycle in Amsterdam is deffinately the only real way of getting around unless you want a workout from hell by legging it XD
It's amazingly easy to see the town on a bike seeing as it's all bloody flat, there may not be a single shingle that it's lying properly straight but it's still overall flat ^^
90% of the people look damn good from walking and riding bicycles all the time so checking up women for me will have to wait untill I loose a few kilos, which shouldn't be a problem if I get another week of walking in the Dam.
I don't know how it is for guys there but the girls looks a lot younger then what they actually are so picking up a chick could be risky.
The weed is damn strong so one doesn't reall have to use a lot of money on weed, actually not a lot at all.
So that frees up funds for a better place to live, proper food to eat and trips/shows that one could afford to go see.
Those shots of extremely stong red bulls is something one should buy a lot of,
one of those and a few cigarettes is the only thing that makes me able to even write this now the day after getting back XD
Drink water whenever you get a chance to, expect to sweat a lot and have to pay extreme prices for everythingthey sell close to the centre of town.
Eat food and actually survive for more then 5 days XD
I had a canal boat ride one of the days but it was a closed-roof boat filled with Asian families so it got a bit weird when I rolled a fattie and hung out the door smoking and talking to the police officer from Rotterdam that was driving the boat XD
But i would deffinately recommend canal boat tours, just get a open roof one on a sunny day.
It suddenly starts raining from clear sky every now and again, so having an umbrella with you would deffinately be a good idea.
The city will try to suffocate you with sugar so eat fruits and proper food as much as possible, because you will end up getting something sugary every few hours as a tourist, and usually a lot of it XD
Have pockets with zippers so you don't have to watch them all the damn time and don't carry extra bags because you'll be picking up a plastic bag the first place you stop that's not a restaurant, insane amounts of trash being produced in Amsterdam.
If you carry a camera make sure you have a camera pack that is securely attached to your belt and barely fits the camera so that the zipper is hard to pull up, makes it almost impossible to steal without you noticeing.
There's usually a few streets between trash bins outside of the city centre so except to carry trash around with you until you find one.
Don't do like me and roll up and smoke just everywhere, people are actually bothered by it and I was just to fucked up to notice where I was before it was to late.
Did manage to keep it away from people walking around with they're children and such but I feel it was not good enough as I got a few shifty looks here and there.
Don't be as tired as me because you won't look like a stoner when your to tired to even smile and have extremely red and wild looking eyes that can't really focus on peoples faces XD
Stay longer then 5 days, you need about a week to fit in if your like me and that's when you first really start to enjoy yourself in that town and start talking to interesting people, or are even able to communicate XD
I'll say it again, don't walk, ride a bike as walking simply drains you completely, and if you stay there for a few weeks buy one used as it'll cost less than renting one for the entire time and it won't cost you 400 euros if you loose it.
Get heavy duty chains to lock it with and remember to lock the frame, the wheels and then locking it to some sort of pole, there's a lot of bike thieves there but they won't ever go for the heavy and securely locked bike as there are a lot of other easier targets around town.
Follow nice pieces of ass walking down the street, it'll give you something nice to look at and lead you somewhere interesting and local evetually, just stay a bit back so you don't freak out the person your following around XD
Other then that I can't remember more right now still feeling pretty high 24 hours after getting back XD
So if you wondering about anything hit me up with a few questiones XD
I'll have to see if i can fish some coffeeshop names, prices and weed types out of my ass the following week since as of today I just can't remember XD
But I did film a lot so I should be able to retrieve some info when I get a bit more calm and collected, will have to get back to that though.
Hope this wasn't to bad of a review, I know I'm supposed to be telling about the coffeeshops and theire produce but i really can't remember it right now
I decided to walk and see as much of the city as possible on my first trip there so I did, but I didn't expect to get that stoned so I forgot a lot of it to :/
All in all I think it was a perfect 5 day introductional tour to Amsterdam, minus the extreme high.
So I now feel prepared to take a longer trip there where I can relax and actually slowly walk around and see all the small and personal sides of the city, I just have to start saving again XD
So, any questiones?
Howler at me, I'll be trying to put some more exact info out here eventually ^^
