November 2010 report (its quite a long un!!)

[sirphobose]

After spending far far longer than planned writing this report i'll now put it to bed.....

The final furlong… (14/11/2010)

Last day in town, rats! We had minimal cleaning to do having kept the house in good order. We also had substantially less weed to smoke. G had been busy on the night shift. Breakfast was similar in menu to previous days apart from the addition of a hearty bottle of red wine. The choice of beverage proved as divisive as the Beetroot and G stepped up to the plate yet again and aside from the few small glass I mostly discarded, he drank alone. “Are we aloud pets in the house? Because it would seem that I’ve come on holiday with a pair of pussies”. After the mocking, smokes and the plonk we handed the keys back to the very accommodating hostess. She mentioned about something going on in town, we ignored it and caught the tram to Centraal Station. Maybe now we could find out where we should have caught the tram the first night instead of bumbling about in the rain like feckless idiots.

The tram diverted and ground to a halt not on the grand concourse of the train station; but outside a less impressive metro stop. Something was afoot. We jumped on the underground and got off at Nieumarket en route to Susie’s Saloon for final beers and smokes. Walking through the RLD we commented on how few folks were about.
“Is something going on” J inquired
“The woman was rattling on about something and we have seen a few things being built in some of the many many squares we’ve inadvertently wandered through” G seemed to be getting to the nub of the matter. We left a very quiet Susies out of stash and practically out of cash. Last minute souvenirs bought on Warmoesstaat we headed for home. Reaching Prins Hendrikkade we found the road cordoned off and throngs of people. It transpired that we were leaving on the day of the Intocht Sinterklaas. Hearing the commotion approaching and with not a moment to spare we found a crossing point and quickened our pace. We laughed in relief believing the transport issues were behind us. As usual the station was a seething ocean of humanity, the highest concentration of mashed people in Europe. We searched the departure board for the station. Fuck all. Zip. Nada. Once again that sinking feeling descended on the touring party. In traditional stoner fashion we aimlessly wandered the station. We joined many ques; we got bored and left said ques. I check the boards frantically, my stoned brain incapable of drawing any solid conclusions. Eventually I found a station worker to ask”
“Are there any trains to the airport?”
“Not directly, you’ll have to change at <insert unpronounceable Dutch town of your choice>” The scenic route took 45 minutes. Our plane left in little over an hour; even clear headed I would have thought this schedule a bit ambitious.
“Are there taxis running out the station today?”
“Yes…but those guys are real rip-offs”
I informed the others of my progress.
“Erm….there is a train you have to change”
“Cool….which one is it?”
“Not sure” I said sheepishly “the guy’s accent reminded me of the ‘Scheetve McLaren’ interview and being stoned my brain wandered a bit. “We’ll have to get a taxi” We had less than 20E between us so we braced ourselves for a final mission. We found a cash point, got funds, and accepted a fare of 50E.

Thankfully this was the end of travel complications and we even had time for a cheeky beer at the departure gate as the plane was delayed a little. Flight home achieved we waited for my other half to pick us up. In an amusingly appropriate fashion we watched her take a wrong turn and make several laps of several car parks before finally reaching us.

Epilogue.
Thanks for reading hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. I’ll leave it with 5 things I learnt this holiday.
- Despite our poor show I still think that Holland has ‘one of the best integrated public transport systems in the world’: blame the workman not the tools.
- 8am is not too early to be smoking skunk
- My navigational skills could do with a bit of work.
- Albert Heijn makes some tasty pastries.
- The gap between my previous two visits was far too long so I’m looking forward to taking my wonderful girlfriend in February. She doesn’t smoke so I think this upcoming trip might be different in nature to the one detailed above. I’ll almost certainly play less cards this time.

[StonedSince67]

After spending far far longer than planned writing this report i'll now put it to bed.....

well thanks for all the work writing ... it was great for us readers ... lots of detail ... lots of strain/price/shop information ... nice style with the conversations ... altogether a fun read ... good one

[Boner]

Brilliant, thank you.

[ftcarer]

Great write-up

[Dave J]

Now that was 1 very fine report. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.

[sirphobose]

Thanks everyone for the very friendly reviews!

[toker31]

Beautifuly done.

*Standing and applauding furiously*

[Cisco]

Great report lad top job

[TwoCanucks]

8am is not too early to be smoking skunk

This is a brilliant statement. I'd make it your signature.

Great read and thanks for sharing!

[sirphobose]

Got back from another top trip on Friday and have been laid low with an uber cold ever since thanks to being infected by my travel buddy....still means i've got my report finished in double quick time...will have photos too when they've finished uploading!

Well so long and thanks for all the fish Ganja!

Well it’s been a long road; I’ve smoked far, far too much by most peoples reckoning; far, far too little by others. I’ve been happily toking and getting on with life for a decade plus until a few months ago, the company I work for decides its going to start drug testing. W-A-N-K-E-R-S! So this was it, a new job or give up one of life’s little pleasures? In the short to medium term I had little choice it was gonna be some cold assed turkey for me, but not before I threw in a last trip to the Dam!

Day 0
Last day at work, out of the door like a rat up a drain pipe and it’s on. While away the afternoon with the holy trinity (coffee, Cannabis and computer games) and wait for my travelling companion, M, to show up. He does so with red eyes, a running nose and a fierce cough. Turns out he was infected by something or other…the ideal person to spend three nights in a confined space, smoking heavily with. Neither was it the condition I’d have wished for his first trip. Anyhoo a quick film (In Bruges) and a few cold and flu tablets it was off to bed for a 4am start.

Day 1
Man its early, slalom down the motor way on the way to the airport. Despite waiting for some cretin pissing about with the car park gate all transport arrangements played out perfectly and a couple of hours later we were on the tarmac at Schipol. Well obviously it wasn’t the tarmac we were supposed to be on as we then taxied round the airport until the pilot won his bet found our gate. Through the airport, on the train and then touch down! Voyagers!

Well as I’m going to the trouble of writing out shop and bud reviews I’ll also include the details of the shops and strains I got through in Feb this year. If you don’t like it then you only gotta stop reading, but then you’ve likely to have already stopped, likely put off by this long and rambling aside.

Voyagers
I’d dropped in for a buy and fly last visit and was blown away with the quality of the stash so I’d decided on it being the first stop this trip and had already settled on the So Gouda as Geeky had mentioned it being bangin last week. The shop looks much better since its refurbishment, with its super location and top menu what’s not to like? No So Gouda, that’s what. It was still on the menu but was told it was finished so settled on
Blond maroc (8e/g) – Smelt like wild flowers, tasted sweet with an undertone of spice at the back of the throat. Took a flame quickly and made my lips sticky. Got me quite high for the price – 8/10
Amnesia x Chocolope (8e/g) – A limited special just on the menu. Smelt of fruit and chocolate, was quite light in colour not showing any purple tinge from the choco. Tasted delicious, smooth and sweet, although not the knock out stone or high you may expect from a pure varietal it really is fantastic for the price – 10/10

FROM FEBUARY
Red Lebanon (8e/g) – A hard dusty coloured hash with sweet, tingling smell. Slight honey taste leaving an airy contemplative high. HB showed me the muslin wrapper it came in originally, assume it’s the real deal, certainly ticks all the boxes - 9/10
OG18 (13.50/g) – Hard dense nuggets, not much smell or taste, just that familiar chest crushing Kush effect and an extremely strong stone – strongest bud I’ve tried in the dam – 9/10


We chilled in voyagers for an hour or so before heading off, I asked my travelling partner for his first impressions
“Well I’m high as balls and the sun is shining…..and its not even lunch time yet, Amsterdam is ace”
I took him on a brief tour of the centre, taking in many of the sites and some architecture too. A brief supply run and onto Amnesia

Amnesia
Nice clean shop, generally good chilled out munchies and the crazy old Dutch guy who’s always hassling people to write in his book, grabbed a milkshake* and a gram of G13 Haze on the recommendation of the Bud tender.
G13 Haze (14e/g) was going to try the Amm haze was talked into trying the G13. Not as fruity smelling as an Amnesia haze but had the distinct haze aroma that lets you know it means business. Not much taste that I can recall but quite potent and got me very high indeed but for 14e/g it wants to be getting me fucking high - 7.5/10
Red Cherry Berry (some E/g)
Asked for something fruity and strong, not nearly fruity or strong enough for me - 6/10

Hung about in Amnesia till it was time to check into our hotel, the Old Quarter. Now this place has got some mixed reviews floating around the web so I was slightly anxious about the quality of the place. The staff were all very friendly and the location was A1, the only letdown was the rooms which were very small and quite scruffy. However I wasn’t here to enjoy the facilities on offer at the hotel so after an hour or twos wash and brush up we found our way to café 420 (or in M land café 240, 220, 400or 2020) however it was heaving so round the corner to Betty Boo we went. I’m aware of the best milkshake argument and shall may my feelings on the subject known in good order.



Betty Boo
Always liked this shop since I first came here back in ’02 ish, looking at the menu I spied some Red Leb. Chilled for a while laughing at the Swiss? Tourists trying to understand that no matter how nicely they asked they wouldn’t be getting a beer in a coffeeshop.
Red Lebanon (7e/g) Floral smell and fun giggly stone, great tasting hash - 9/10
Blue Cheese (12E/G) Very stinky and sticky, a thick pungent smoke left me high and contended -8/10

We polished off several drinks at Betty’s and headed out into a clear and windy evening en route for the supermarket for room fodder. On the way I’d asked M if there was anything he’d like to try. The only thing he had in mind was some White Widow so we ended up getting sidetracked and spent an hour in Kadinsky with some Trans Himalayan and a gram of white widow.

Kadinsky
We nipped into the most central of the 3 Kadinsky’s (just off Damrak) which is a very small, dimly lit shop. From what I could tell it seemed to be run as a meeting point by the guy at the bud bar. Not friendly or hostile, just as is.. However if you want to sample the Trans Himalayan (and you should..) then I’d recommend that you bust a move over to the Kadinsky outlet just off Spuistraat, a much more comfortable establishment.
Trans Himalayan (11.50/g) – Soft, pliable black hash; spicy and nutty on the inhale leaving a comfy deep stony buzz. I tried some in February which seemed to be stronger than last week’s example. In either case one of the best hashes around - 9/10
White Widow – Typical, the only weed I didn’t look at all before buying and it was dud. Little taste or effects and an off black ash when burnt, disappointing as this was M’s choice. Ho-hum -3/10

Lemon Haze (some E / g) went to pick up some TH for my last night in the dam and picked up a cheeky gram of this on the side, other than that it leaves no memory – 5/10

It started raining, as we’d been on the go for about 17 hours at this point we made a dash for the AH on Nieumarket and spent a couple of hour chilling in the room with smokes and some fresh fruit. I wasn’t especially refreshed when we headed out once more into the streets old Amsterdam. There may have been a beer or two before we found our way to Greenplace.

Greenplace
Nice shop and a good, wide, menu. Opted for a gram of Blueberry cheese and spent hours slumped in the back room listening to some hip hop and making a dent in our stash. While at the counter I overheard the BT telling another group that they all had to buy a drink to smoke in the shop, although they’d just bought about 60es of bud between them, take from that what you will.
Blueberry Cheese (10E/G) – Sweet, dank, cheesy smell which yielded a smooth and zesty smoke. Had a good level of stone too, overall I’d be happily smoke lots of this – 8.5/10

We mooched back to the hotel where M decided to smoke mostly hash as it didn’t make him cough a lung as much as some of the grass we’d been hitting. Over several hours we made inroads into the bags on the table. I’d been grinding all the weed up onto a bit of paper, after taking what I needed for the spliff in hand the rest was to be consigned for a final nightly mega doob……..


ah mega doob . After getting stuck into the mega doob I was going to call it a night, however on my pre-trip internet trawl I had noticed that many people had complained about bed bugs. Upon puling back the sheets I found a mass of small black and brown objects. From my bleary eyed perspective they seemed to be crawling all over the bed. Fuck this thought I, I stuck my trousers on, wrapped the duvet around myself and vowed to sort the issue out in the morning.

Day 2
So woke up the next day, missed breakfast, determined to deal with the bed bug issue, and thought I’d better gather some evidence. Fortunately the only evidence I found was crumbs of lots of various munchies and the odd bit of hash, weed and tobacco. Relieved that I wasn’t going to be invertebrate dinner of a night-time we packed up for the day and headed down to De Pijp. A short stroll through the market, and back through the park and into Katsu.






Katsu
Locals shop, the best variety of stuff on the menu in all Amsterdam imho, have frequented this establishment the last three trips I made. Highly recommended.
Zero Zero Hash (20E/1.5grm) – So soft, so pliable, a flick with the lighter and its starts to bubble and spit. A beautiful smooth smoke and left you nice and high for hours, fantastic gear - 9/10
GU Cheese (10E deal for?) – Very pungent, a hint of cheese but more hazy than a straight example. Sticky bud with a sweet taste and medium stone – 8/10


top Zero Zero, bottom GU Cheese

So Gouda (20E/1.8g) – Love this stuff, mega - 11/10

We chilled in the always welcoming Katsu and headed out in search of food and some extra cash. One burger and some Eurobles later and we hit club Media.

Club Media
This place doesn’t look like a coffeeshop, it’s large, clean, modern; full of plasma TVs and pot plants deployed in a decorative fashion….in short a very nice place. I am also at liberty to report that the weed was fandabydosey.
Lemon Haze (10E/g) – A sugary smell, not the overpowering lemon sherbet taste I’ve experienced in the past but certainly some fruity undertones. Clean and pure, left a nice cerebral high - 8.5/10
3tje’s (10E/g) – An odd smelling herb this; Sage-y with a hint of caramel. Dark orange, almost red hairs and a nice balance of stone and high. Very moreish, would have sat in the same seat puffing away on joints of this all day (and nearly did!) - 9/10
Champagne Haze (12.50E/G) – I’d had this in my sights before we arrived at Media, didn’t buy it first up saved it for the way home. As I asked to make our final purchases an American lady, who’d been sitting at the opposite side of the shop, piped up “Get the Champagne Haze…Its awesome”. She was right, overwhelming smell, fruity, vanilla and the distinctive haze aroma hit like a mule too with a happy, long-lasting, dreamy high. 10/10
Zootljes (12E/g) I’d Asked the Budlady for a hash recommendation, she showed me the Ketama (which looked scrummy) I said I’d like something memorable…..”Zootljes is very special, very strong, you’ll love it”
Ok said I, “I’ll take a gram”. Counter lady mentioned she was rubbish at cutting hash, and her first effort weighed up at 1.6g or so. “That’s fine, I’m sure ill put pay to that, I’ll take that chunk” I’m glad I did, this was hash to die for, creamy, chocolaty tasting. It gave a deep stony head that kept my mind busy for hours - 10/10.

As we got up to leave we were offered filter tips, skins and lighters and were made to feel like valued customers. All the product we sampled here was weighed openly, destemmed without asking and was very well flushed and cured….perfick!!



top Champagne Haze, bottom Zootljes

We’d had a busy day in de Pijp, didn’t get down to Papillion or D&L which is a shame as I’ve read god things about both…another life maybe. We caught the tram back to the centre and after a munch stop, killed a couple of hours in the room while M got his head down to try and shake his cold off. It didn’t workas he woke just as infected as before. Deciding to lay off the smoking for a while we headed out for a beer. Chose Susie’s Saloon next to Ricks for a beer by the canal while I burned a Lemon Haze number from Media….happy days indeed! I’m quite impatient so we were soon heading on the smoke trail again.


view from Susies

Café 420
The only place for your old time rock music with your smoke in the dam. It’s in a great location, reasonably priced drinks and plenty of seating, a winning combination.
We returned here the next day for a few hours of chess in the evening so I’ll combine all the smoke reports here.
420 haze (12E/g) – Large dark green, crystal covered buds filled the dealers tub. It had a zesty smell that transferred to the taste quite well. A climbing high if not soaring, I suspect it’d have scored higher if I’ not sampled the Champagne Haze earlier that day - 7/10
Chocolope (12E/g) – Originally intended on the 420 Kush for some night time smokes but the tub looked full of shake. Asked to see the chocolope and the opposite was true. A handful of sexy looking buds of purply green goodness, the smell emanating from the box. I rolled the first gram into that nights mega doob, so based on the next nights sample the Choco was certainly very nice, gave a chocolaty taste with a good degree of stone -9/10
Nepal (10E/g) – A soft hash, not quite as dark as other Nepalese but still sticky and pliable. A medium body stone, which was quite chatty and very agreeable – 8/10
Carmello (12E/g) – Got a couple of grams of this over a couple of nights. Brown hash, which fluffed up after playing with it in my hands. A delightful creamy smoke which yielded a nice buzzy and giggly high -8.5/10


Caramello

NYCD (11E/g) – Had the chemically aroma you should get in a good diesel, but lacked the powerful soaring head high, pleasant none the less – 7/10

We made our way across Damrak, grabbed some beers from the hotel bar and settled in to watch some telly with a mega doob. I remember some guy who was mad for Camels, upto the point of arousal. I also remember the last few hits from that night’s mega doob were taken in bed listening to some Derek and Clive on the mp3 player. A good end to a good day.

Day 3

Another breakfast missed, another pile of empty baggies, my last day in Amsterdam. A strange mix of emotions; ruing lost opportunities and the giddy anticipation of the day to come.
There was no distinct plan for the day, wanted to check out the Grey Area but it was a little early. We wandered in search of some brunch for 15 minutes, past the Westerkerk and Ann Frank Huis. Once our bellies had been filled we circled back to Grey Area.

Grey Area
Very small shop with a large queue. Looking at menu you can see why. Everything sounds delicious; fortunately the American guys behind the counter are more than happy to help you decide on your purchase. Explaining my weedy needs for the day I opted for a gram of LA Woman and a gram of Kuchi, then headed out in search of Paradox.
LA Woman (12.50E/g) – Darkish green nugs laced in crystals. Sticking it through the grinder left a sour peach aroma in your nostrils. Hints of spice and lime in the taste and a lovely balanced effect – 9/10
Kuchi (13.50/g) – Kush x Cheese; this weed smells dangerous, the ripe stink of a cheese with a slight tang of Kush, it’s the sort of strange nasal reaction I get when I smell vinegar, pungent but quite enticing. Its hits as strong as it tastes, although for me the cheese was overwhelmed by the Kush; either way it gets – 10/10



En route toward Paradox I realised that my trusty ACD map was lost and the two spares I brought were sat in the hotel room with the remnants of last nights mega doob on them. A short fumble with the smart-phone later and we were there.



Paradox
Definitely a locals shop, the open fronted shop had a large graffiti mural dominating one side and large comfy benches in the corner. The Dutch guy behind the counter was very friendly and helpful and we really felt at home in this shop. Ordered up a couple of milkshakes and well …I quite like the ones at Amnesia but Paradox’s are a whole new ball game, fresh fruit FTW!! Anyhow we ordered a couple of hashes as these seem to make M’s cold lest hostile than the large weed spliffs I was partaking in.
Turkish hash (5E/.6g) – Darkish brown, not too soft needed a lick with the lighter to get going. The smoke was thick and luxurious with a slight coffee taste. A nice balanced chin stroking kind of high, good stuff -9/10
Manali Jungle (5E/.5g) – Spicy tasting on the inhale, left a warm fuzzy stone that cocooned me up in a bubble for a half hour or so, nice -8/10
Ice wash hash (12E/.8g) – Very hard pressed ice hash; never smoked it straight up so can’t give a fair review. I certainly detected a Maroc style spice in the taste and it’s certainly strong, ill give it a -7/10

After many hours in Paradox we headed back to the room for a freshen up and a night out. Talked M into trying a Beef Randong from a small rather drab looking place that I’d frequented in February. For 15E you get a plate of melt in the mouth spicy beef, with rice and vegetables in a peanut and coconut dressing; the picture doesn’t do its justice, trust me its heavenly! We grabbed a few beers and rounded off the night playing Chess in 420 and smoking lots of hash joints…..fantastic!
That night in the room we disposed of all the weed into a smorgasbord of smoakables.


M bailed shortly before 2 and I took it on myself to try and smoke the secondary megadoob all to myself in bed. The next morning we slept through our alarm and had to make a frantic dash to the airport, nothing like a bit of early morning stress to round off your holiday!!

Other notable smokes from Feb.:
King Hassan Polm – HGF (12E/g) – crumbly light brown hash that left an oily residue on your fingers. A strong smooth high, a firm favourite -9/10
Cream Special – Basjoe (12E/g) – soft black hash, enjoyed it more in Nov ’10, a dank narcotic stone very satisfying – 9/10
Cheese – Basjoe (12E/g) – Stinks like cheese, hits like cheese….laaarvley -8.5/10

Thanks for reading!!

APPENDIX

Trip by numbers; in total we…….
Smoked 25 grams of the best weed and hash ever!
Spent on average 10E an hour on smokables, drinkables and edibles
Quaffed 6 milkshakes
Spent 15% of my time in Holland not stoned!
Did 4 munchy runs to the AH

Awards and Mentions
Best Hash – 1st Zootljes from Media, 2nd Turkish from Paradox, and 3rd Caramello from 420
Best Weed – 1st Amnesia x Chocolope from Voyagers, 2nd Champagne Haze from Media, and 3rd Kuchi from Grey Area

Best shop; Paradox or maybe its Cafe420….but then again Voyagers is very good indeed…..but then it’d be unfair to leave out Basjoes or Grey Area for that matter as the weed is very good…hmm but then again Media is all round super and Katsu has its own unique thing going on and I can’t overlook Betty’s as its got both nostalgia and quality……Picking one maybe impossible, suffice to say there are many fine establishments in this great city!!

Random Photos

[geekymonkey]

Great report. You have my mouth watering for some of those hashes! Thanks for sharing.

[angry pirate]

Crackin' write up fella, much enjoyed.

[Cisco]

Yeah not bad fuck the green off and it will be readable

[sirphobose]

Yeah not bad fuck the green off and it will be readable

Well despite the rather surly request i'm inclined to agree with you

thanks for all the kind words....just trying to figure out the photos

[sirphobose]

photo test!