Trip #1 - Maiden Voyage - Feb 19-26

[The_Green_Bastard]

wonderfully enchanting tale m'lord.

[Rasa]

here Jonny this is the link to my blog, enjoy the read: im in france right now but will be in amsterdam on wednesday. been smoking some awesome amnesia from holland here in northern france though!

http://www.spinningaway.org

[greenking]

Outstanding stuff jonny the best travel log yet. And thanks to your in-depth research i've started my own list of must buys for my trip in may so thanks again big man

[sheppyg1903]

Cracking read mate.

[cornish pixie]

What a epic report. Loved every detail. Now to get a bollocking from the mrs for spending the good part of a hour on my iPhone reading this and not engaging in anything at all. Ear ache due I believe !!!!! Easily get obsorbed into travelogs !!!!

[JonnyBags]

Friday, February 25th, 2011 – Last Full Day and Nite – Part Deux……

Now, where was I?? Ah yes, now I remember, and it’s worth repeating:

Spike being the maniac that he is makes the decision to roll what can only be described as the King of All Tossed Salad Blunts. He had been purchasing more than he had been finishing let’s say. This blunt contained the following:

Dr. Grinspoon
Sliver Haze
East Coast Sour
Big Buddha Cheese
Pink Kush
Tangerine Dream
420 Haze
GA Blond Keef
Hunters 100% Sativa Ice-o-Lator
GA Grey Crystals

WTF?? I mean where else can you do something so insanely gluttonous and wonderful than in Amsterdam?

Yup, we had reached code level stupid high at this point with some booze pulsing through us as well. Jim, Hendrix, not the guy we are traveling with, rang out of the speakers “Are you experienced?” and I wasn’t sure how to answer that question because I was high, like teenager high… giggling, laughing, eating anything that wasn’t nailed down. This included a large amount of aged gouda cheese and some chocolate waffle cookie things that I can remember eating way too many of but not their name.

After the 6 of us polished off the ridiculously silly 100Euro blunt and whatever beer, booze and food that was left we decided to catch a cab to Centraal and walk around from their. I was so wasted at this point that a taxi seemed like the smart thing to do. Gear is sorted and rolled. Spike’s stash was a bit out of control so I offered to help skin a few big-boys up and he agreed. Pink Kush and Blue Berry is fattening out a long skin while a Recon cone and a Sliver Bubble monster go into my pocket for later… and of course they all had more of Hunters 100% sativa ice-o-lator dust. (Why wouldn’t they, right??)

I packed a few road-bongs of the last of my Silver Bubble and chalked up a few. Tears nearly ran down my face at this point. Not because I was sad the journey was ending but more along the lines of my lungs and throat were on fire!! Kate took the glassware from my grip before it smashed on the ground and helped herself to a bowl pack. Round it went until we all were speaking Mongolian and at that point it was time to make the last night happen.

We walked down to the nearest hotel, which is a good spot to look for taxis when you are traveling in Amsterdam as a group. They didn’t have a van for 6… also a good thing to remember about taxi and group travel. Unlike other countries they are very, very strict about the amount of people that can sit in a taxi. Meaning, if the ride was designed for three in the back and one in the front, than that is all they will allow. Even if you can squeeze in another, they won’t do it. So, two it is and we are whizzing through the streets in no time flat. The city looks amazing at night when you have a proper buzz working and you’re not walking your 75th kilometer.

The taxi drops us at a familiar place, Centraal, and the large weekend crowds pouring in and out of the hub greet us. Our energy is high, we are high, all is right. I take my position as lead-dog and pull the pack through the crowds. I point out Grasshopper for tourist puposes and say that is a place we can feel ok about missing out on. Over to Haarlemmerstraat, which is buzzing with activity. We all wished we had come a day or two earlier so we could have experienced a full weekend.

Popeyes – Our second stop in this strangely bright and slightly-off coffeeshop

Me – 1G Vanilla Kush – Smelled like a vanilla bomb exploded on a kush farm 9/10


Barney’s –

Jim – 1G Cheese – Stinky batch and loaded with trichs 8.5/10
Spike – 2G Tangerine Dream – Spike was hooked on this and wished he found it sooner.

Buy and fly only as these aren’t the places we are looking to spend the last hours. Back into the mix to buy some hot chips and mayo from a corner stand. We all grub out on the greasy goodness. Down Damrak and walking towards the RLD, Jim spots Greenhouse and wants some more Super Lemon Haze which was one of his personal favorites:

Greenhouse Effect – More of what you’d expect from Greenhouse Buds and Names

Jim – 1G Super Lemon Haze
Me – 1G Cream Hash – Sticky and rich. Wish I had a taken a pic after breaking into it.

I swear the girls in our group were infatuated with the “window shopping” that takes place in the RLD. Every night we would get twisted up and go out walking they would see the red windows and the array of women in them and it was either curiosity or haze makes them switch teams. Either way, we weren’t complaining. More gear in our pockets and a thirst needing to be quenched, a familiar spot to us appeared on the horizon:

Bulldog Bar – I will again go on record that this isn’t a place that I would buy gear from, but alcohol is alcohol when it comes in a brown bottle or out of a tap. We walked in and our friend the bar-helper recognized us right away. It was either from the over-tipping or the purchasing of Budweiser bottles 6 at a time. (Hey, we thought it was funny to order shitty beer in one of the beer capitols of the world.) The place was packed to the brim, the music was bumping and we ordered a round of drinks. Not two seconds go by and the Bar-Helper-Dude sparks a hash joint, hits it, and gifts it to our party. I shake his hand and thank him for making a few positive memories for us.

My eagle senses were going off like crazy and I turned around as one person from a group of eight was putting on his jacket. Even flying on the hash cloud I knew that this was our one shot at glory. I immediately moved in leaving my friends looking at me like I was nuts. I stood there for about 90 seconds catching glances from Spike, Jim and Kate questioning what I was doing. And then it happened, all 8 people form the table got up and left leaving me to take the best spot in the house.

My mates who now put the process together bombard me and the energy jumps about 10 notches. The table is this big, corner wooden job with a view out the window across the canal to a few windows. Perfect spot with the crowds out of our hair and drinks around. The ashtray on the table begins to get a solid workout. Tangerine Dream is ground up while the pre-rolled version gets handled. Some Pink Kush is up next and we pass that to a young couple sitting next to us and say, Cheers! They loved the smoke and offered to buy a round but I stepped up and thanked them but declined. (Didn’t want them to pay for the six of us over half a J.)

Jim rolls the entire bag of Lemon Haze in one cone and the entire bag of Cheese in a second cone. Then he grabs my lighter and sparks them both pronouncing, “These two MUST be smoked together or get the fuck out!” Laughing hysterically we agree to his terms and we each do as told, hitting both the 1G cheese cone and the 1G haze cone at the same time, double barrel style. I might have rolled my eyes if I was an onlooker to this mess, then again, I probably would’ve tried to get a seat at our table because we were having by far the most fun!

We order a last round of shots and beer to commemorate our time in paradise. Jaeger and Grolsch are selected and quiet young Bee decides to make the toast:

“Thank you all for coming here tonight…” great start dude, where else, nevermind….. “I would just like to say that this was an amazing journey with a group of sick mother-f@ckers!” Enough said, down the hatch they go and we pass a final round of Vanilla Kush which was about enough to send us all into the stratosphere of inebriation. Time has come to settle the tab as they say and make our exit. A nod to our friend behind the bar and back from whence we came. To finish off the night, Jill speaks up from her coma and asks for Burgers from Burger Bar. No objections here at all. If I was a prisoner on death row some Silver Bubble from GA and a 270G Kobe with Cheese from Burger Bar might make the final cut. Payment of the burger tab, payment of the cab fare, payment of final respect to the city of enlightenment, the living room at the apartment is where we wind up to feast.

No music is played, very few words are spoken until that last fatty morsel is devoured in hast. A lot of nodding and quiet acknowledgment was passed around the room. What could be said on the last night of a maiden voyage that actually exceeded un-relentlessly high expectations? Nothing. Nothing at all. Words were not needed, nor were they forced into play. The week was filled with more activity of the verbal and sensational nature then had been experienced in some time. But, at this moment, be content in thine self.



(I was going to wrap it all up but I am getting a bit tired. One more entry to wrap up the departure day, final smokes, and last thoughts.)

[StonedSince67]

Friday, February 25th, 2011 – Last Full Day and Nite – Part Deux……

thank you for these great reports of your trip ... i think your last night in the bulldog shows that it may be a poor coffeeshop, but it is a great smoker-friendly bar ... and your consumption levels are the proof ... smart bartender as well keeping everyone sweet

thanks for not finishing the report yet ... it gives me a chance to wait and anticipate another episode ... eagerly looking forward to the rest ...

Jim, Hendrix, not the guy we are traveling with, rang out of the speakers “Are you experienced?” and I wasn’t sure how to answer that question because I was high, like teenager high… giggling, laughing, eating anything that wasn’t nailed down.

my take on the song are you experienced is that it is about acid ie lsd

jimi took a lot of acid, daily at times, so he certainly knew about being experienced and reaching up to the sky ... he was not just stoned, but beautiful ie tripping

at least that's what we thought back in the late 60s listening to this song, doing our best to be not necessarily stoned, but beautiful

Are You Experienced
Jimi Hendrix

If you can just get your mind together
Then come on across to me
We'll hold hands and then we'll watch the sunrise
From the bottom of the sea

But first, are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have

I know, I know you probably scream and cry
That your little world won't let you go
But who in your measly little world
Are you trying to prove that
You're made out of gold and, eh, can't be sold

So, are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have

Let me prove it to you...

Trumpets and violins I can hear in distance
I think they're calling our names
Maybe now you can't hear them, but you will
If you just take hold of my hand

Oh, but are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?
Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful...

[Dave J]

Yet more great reading, thanks.

[DrDiesel]

Great reporting Johnny, you tell a mean tale. loving the Double Barrell too

[greenking]

Sitting here reading your great report while having some nice thai on the go with some classic trojen reggae playing in the back ground. ..Perfect!

[JonnyBags]

Hey all - Ive been away on work detail and just got home. Hope to post the last chapter this week.

[Dave J]

Hey all - Ive been away on work detail and just got home. Hope to post the last chapter this week.

Was tempted to say WTF is it lol, as been waiting myself. But we all get work issues preventing us taking time to do such things from time to time. Just as long as you finish I'll be more than happy with your report

[JonnyBags]

Saturday - February 26th, 2011 – Time has come to an End

The previous night was a blaze of desperation. Desperation in the form of regret. Regret in the form of sadness. Sadness due to the inevitable departure which was now squarely on our shoulders.

One by one we slowly emerged from our beds and final haze comas. We had eaten burgers and punished cones of Amsterdam’s finest until the early hours of the morning. This was evident by the empty ramekins of mayonnaise and ketchup and the overflowing ashtray. It was time to clean up unless we were willing to leave without our security deposit… which we were not. Spike and Bee were placed on bathroom duty. Kate and I were on kitchen and living room. Jim and Jill had to take out the trash, recyclables, and bring the luggage down stairs. (Might have been the worst job considering the stairs.)

Memories of strolling down Damrak on day one filled my head and walking shyly in 420 for the first smoke of the trip. Time seemed to fly by this week. Our holiday was all but over. We had sorted out the baggies and containers and came to what is considered our final, official weed total or the week:

Total smoked including pre-rolled, grams of hash, weed, ice-olator = 88 grams.
Total spacecakes eaten = Unknown Maybe 25?

It felt comforting knowing that even though the journey was over we had given it our best effort and sampled more than our share of premium quality gear.

Spike of course still had over 9 grams on him. “Fuck’s sake bro…. Were you planning on sticking it up your asshole?” I inquired. “Nah bro, just lost track of time and space. I guess we better finish what we started.” I checked the time and it was 10am local. Our flight was at 1pm local and we were taking a cab as a last vacation luxury. We still had the tube and a pack of skins so hands got to work on the last of the Tangerine Dream, Kush Berry, Silver Haze, Cheese, and Blue Berry. Rather than roll 10 joints, we decided on three incredibly oversized monsters.

The denseness of smoking being furiously emitted from our faces should have been recorded and watched for a laugh. Bee nearly vomited from coughing so hard which made Jill laugh until she started coughing which made me just want to stay and not fly home. Seriously, why the fuck do I have to go home? Other than work, and my dog it didn’t seem unreasonable to find a job and say goodbye New York; I knew thee well……..

Realizing that I had drifted off into a foggy daydream I became immediately aware that this “quick” smoke had taken awhile. Clock check: 11:15am. Shit. “Let’s go. Folks!!”

Down the mountain, out the door, keys left behind for the agent to pick up and suitcase-handles fully extended… we walk toward the nearest cabstand by the hotel near our rental. On arrival a very skinny African lady is yelling at one of the cabbies who is first line. It appeared he didn’t want to give her a ride. She was irate and was screaming in what sounded like French. We all were watching the scene and she moved to the 2nd cabbie. We approached the first guy and he saw how many we were and didn’t want to take us either. (He might have been having his lunch, who knows.) But now the 2nd cabbie looks wants our fare and tells the irate woman to bugger-off. She goes absolutely NUTS and kicks the side of cab #2 moving toward cab #3. Driver #3, already out of his car yells what must have been profanities at this freak-show before she can get within 2 meters of his ride. Driver #2 after quickly looking at the minor damage to his door panel reaches over an grabs her arm and “escorts” her off the curb, through the air and into a puddle on her arse.

I was way to high for all of this but Spike and Jim were cheering and applauding for driver #2. What had sparked her rage was us most likely. These guys knew she was just a local fare and we were going to Schipol… thus paying much more money. My apologies but I was not the operator of the cab nor did I cut-in-line and take her spot. Crazy way to exit but we were now off in two cabs and on our way. The drivers took the back route which was nice to see.

Arrived at Schipol with about an hour and twenty minutes to spare. Thankfully the wait was short and we got to the final checkpoint rather quickly. Duty-free ciggarettes, 6 bottles of booze, tulip bulbs for my boss who gardens, and snacks purchased. Last coins and a few bills exchanged at an unfair rate. (Note, exchange your money before you get to the airport. I knew this but just forgot) All 6 of us were bunched together as a tall dark-haired gentleman asked a few generic questions like where were we flying to, what was our final destination, where did we stay, etc, etc. Passing us back our passports and the unnecessary nervousness subsiding, we entered the waiting box at our gate and were soon boarding our Continental flight #77 back to Newark. We were seated in the far rear of the plane, which didn’t bother me because I had eaten two Paradox spacecakes in the cab on the ride over.

Airborne, headphones on, Kate falling asleep on my shoulder, I was left with my thoughts and memories of an excellent voyage to a place I had dreamed of. I wished we had gone in the summer when the weather was warmer, but it didn’t matter. I wished we could have stayed longer but 7 days is longer than most get to ever experience. I wished my schedule allowed for more trips, but that is a choice I will be left to make. Yup, no complaints, no regrets……….. mission accomplished.



(Thank you all for your time. I had great fun writing this with what memories had been sribbled down and not burned away in a cloud of smoke. Any advice on economical airfare from USA to Amsterdam in the September-November timeframe?)

[geekymonkey]

Sign up for the KLM fare sale notices- they periodically have transatlantic flghts at good prices.

Thanks for the awesome report- I enjoyed every word.

Peace,

Geeky

[tuttiflutes]

Very nice report... YOU SHALL RETURN

enjoyed the virgins eye view..


I really like the Bulldog.. Bought small amounts of lowest priced weed something like 8-9(my usual limit perg) and it was fine.. You pay for the ambiance of the establishment, and I think it rocks..

You will find me many a hot summer evening chilling outside at the 'Bulldog' the 'Original'

tutti