Dangler Almost live April 7th to 27th

[WolfDangler]

8:35 am
Hotel II Giardino
Words can’t describe how heinous this place is. The sign above the narrow door at Prins Hendrikkade 97 tells me that hotel reception is next door. An arrow points to the entrance of a dodgy kabob shop. Behind a glass counter showcasing donuts that look like they are turning into penicillin ,stand two men. First guy looks like a parrot with a ponytail and cataracts. The other, an extra from the movie City of God.
I assume the parrot is in charge.
‘Hello.’
‘Squawk!!!’ he says. No, that’s not what he said. He said:
‘Hallo’
‘Hi I have a reservation’
‘vas?’
‘For a room.’
‘Room?’
‘Yeah, a single.’
‘Room?’
I point next door. ‘The hotel.’
‘Oh yes, of course, room.. We have room.’
‘Great’
I’m told it will be ready by one pm , but I can leave my bag in the room. Tells me to return the key before I leave. I take the greasy key and go next door. It won’t open. Poke my head back into the kabob shop.
‘The door.’
'Oh, yes, yes’ says the parrot.
Both of them start searching. Searching for an elusive button that will give me entrance to the Hotel Giardino. It’s like they are unaware that they are running a hotel. It’s obviously a front for some other operation . Born and raised in Los Angeles, I know a criminal element when I see one.
I can smell bullshit like a fart in a elevator.
The button thing sorted. I enter the hotel and I’m greeted to the usual steep winding staircase.
A staircase that looks like it’s being rebuilt. Some of the steps are actually missing. I run the gauntlet up two flights. Down the hall, I walk the green mile to my room. Lights flickering, the place smells damp.
Is this revenge for making a living in the horror industry? Is this life imitating art?
He only had to survive one night.
Reach a thin door with an even flimsier lock. Enter room and I’m greeted to the scent of cabbage and body odor. It's cramped and covered in graffiti with a broken window facing a brick fortification. A couple of sheets of lumber are leaning against one wall. There is a TV circa 1980 with a remote control covered in cigarette burns. This is a two star?
Quickly throw my bag in the corner. Grab my laptop. Drop off the key and make haste.
It’s only one night, it’s only one night…………………

10;05 am
De Kuil
Purchase 1g of Neville’s Haze 11e , a coffee verkeerd and a Sourcy rood. Plug in the laptop and enjoy a Morning cone.

12:45 pm
Dam Square
Ok, the “living statues” are getting out of control. They’re starting to out number the pigeons. Must of them aren’t even trying . One of the original metallic blue knight statues is still here. I watched him preparing for his day. He was sitting on his stool without his helmet looking at all the amateurs around him with disgust. This reminds me of the “costumed superheroes" who congregate outside the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood.
They hustle tourist’s to take a photo with them for tips. Great documentary about the subject.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1016164/

3:50 pm
Voyagers
Had a session with Blueberry, Gapie, Trad and Highlyblessed. Very nice.
Was going to go to dinner with Blueberry, but we got sidetracked by the best view in Amsterdam.

5:05 pm
Tak and Holly’s Boat
The first thing you feel when you enter this Shangri-la is the warm welcoming sensation from it’s hosts, Tak and Holly. Next is the view. The awe inspiring view. A canal level view of a constant parade of boats and local wildlife. When a slow moving tour boat filled to the brim with tourists and cameras passed the window, I couldn’t help but think how great it would be to moon them. Just drop trou and place it against the glass. Damn my arrested development.
Just after six pm I say goodbye to Tak and Holly and part ways with Blueberry
I’d been in town for two days and I hadn’t contacted anyone from the festival yet. Took care of some business

7:10 pm
Grill Bar Baby.
First shoarma of the trip. This spot used to be my favorite for the sliced spicy meat and hot sauce.
http://www.nelso.nl/nl/place/246202/
Friendly service. The food is most definitely a shadow of its former self. It still hit the spot.
Sadly, I won’t be returning.
Walk to Damstraat to get a pack of Camel Blues. Pass a new restaurant named “The Mexican” followed by another restaurant a few doors down called………………. “The Mexican”. Cool thing about that one, is that its located where the shitty Coffeeshop Paradise used to be.
Pop into the Old Man and get my smokes. Walk to the ‘t Nes and its packed. Turn around and head to the Excalibur to say hi to Zad. Have a few beers.

11:31 pm
Greenhouse Effect
Purchase 1g Greenhouse special 11e. Decide to head to the hotel for the evening..

[Twichaldinho]

Is this revenge for making a living in the horror industry? Is this life imitating art?
He only had to survive one night.

Karma's a bitch...Hi, My Name is Earl..

Top trip report this one.

[WolfDangler]

Midnight Day 2
On my way back to Motel Hell, I stumble across a new Italian place on Damrak called the Pasta Bar. Order a Salami Pizza and a four cheese pasta with shrimp. The pasta was nice, but the shrimp was over cooked and a little rubbery. The salami on the pizza was not fresh and slightly slimy . This is why I never eat on Damrak.

12:50 am
Hotel II Giardino
Up the broken stairs and into my hovel. Sit on the edge of the bed. The mattress is too big for the frame and I slide to the floor, where I’m introduced to a mountain of used Kleenex under the bed. Shudder. Position myself in the center of the bed, fully clothed and attempted sleep.
Just one night.

7 am Day 3
Woken to the sound of drunken soccer hooligans bashing around in the hall outside my thin door.
Decide to brave the shower, which is down the hall. Enter shower. Grim. Maybe I should skip the shower? No, I need one after spending the night here. Sometimes Amsterdam just sticks to you.
Two minutes into my lukewarm shower, I have murky soapy water rising above my ankles. The drain is backed up and the shower is flooding over. That’s it, I’m out of here.

8am
Drop off the keys to the parrot in the kabob shop. He is having a loud argument with a couple brits who claim that they left a twenty pound deposit for a room. Put some distance between me and this appalling place. I survived. There will be no sequel .
The studio will be ready by one pm. Drop off my stuff.

10 am
De Kuil
1g of 420 Haze 13e Nice wake and bake. Energetic. 7/10
Back home, when I’m not making movies, I supplement my income by working in a medical marijuana dispensary. So,my manifest destiny is not to come all the way to Amsterdam to smoke copious amounts of cannabis.
So what do I do?
Roll up the Greenhouse Special from last night.Dry. Turns to dust after just two twists of the grinder. Tastes like chalk. 2/10 Worse smoke so far.


1 pm
Wolfdanglers Lair

I love my new place………………………………...........

[cattales1960]

cool IM glad you like the new place since you will be there for so long. keep up the stories. lol. The klennex gross me out. lol.

[Ghost]

Blinding report so far, i am really enjoying this read. Has to be up there with the best so far, nice1 keep it coming!!

[geoffk]

Love it!

[Rasa]

I really dig your writing style Wolf! That scene when the coffee machine erupted had me laughing my ass off! See you on 4/20

[geekymonkey]

So good! I've been laughing out loud quite a bit. Thanks for sharing your adventure and I love your writing style. This is totally helping with my trip withdrawal- so thanks for that.

[Taylor]

More More More!!!.....

[08-420]

A very nice read indeed!

[Cisco]

Where are ya Dangler ? obviously havin a blast

[cattales1960]

the imagine film festival has started so Im sure he is busy with that

[WolfDangler]

the imagine film festival has started so Im sure he is busy with that

The festival did indeed start four days ago. 'Chop' premiered last night,to a packed theatre and scored high with the audience. Been doing interviews for Dutch publications as well.
http://issuu.com/antondamen/docs/id2
Tonight is the 'Night of Terror' at the Tuschinski theatre. A marathon of films with a scream queen contest. I'm one of the judges,lucky me.
http://www.imaginefilmfestival.nl/films/night-of-terror
Those that are coming to the April 23rd screening can help 'Chop' win the coveted 'Silver Scream Award'. It is now placing third with all the films at the fest.
Thanks all. And I hope to see some of you soon.
Cheers

[cattales1960]

the imagine film festival has started so Im sure he is busy with that

The festival did indeed start four days ago. 'Chop' premiered last night,to a packed theatre and scored high with the audience. Been doing interviews for Dutch publications as well.
http://issuu.com/antondamen/docs/id2
Tonight is the 'Night of Terror' at the Tuschinski theatre. A marathon of films with a scream queen contest. I'm one of the judges,lucky me.
http://www.imaginefilmfestival.nl/films/night-of-terror
Those that are coming to the April 23rd screening can help 'Chop' win the coveted 'Silver Scream Award'. It is now placing third with all the films at the fest.
Thanks all. And I hope to see some of you soon.
Cheers

I am working on everyone from the moment I touch ground wolf! We will have a big group there. I cant wait!