What is your most random Red Light/Coffee Shop experience?

[gapie]

okieeee
i had once that was 10 years ago i thought
with a friend but he was a little fucked up guy never see him again pufffffff
i met him once somewhere or in a shop gave him my number i thought for a smoke up orso
he called me we met up somewhere in the city
he wanted to get shrooms i wanted to smoke but yeh why not we did go to a headshop got some shrooms and then after that i dont remember but one thing i remember it was scairy he wanted to go to the RLD not me i wanted to s a shop but why not we were close from the rld and he bought the shrooms thus u know what i mean we walked by the rld i got freaked out becoz the red lights and push feeling i dunno weird feelings i got over there at the moment then i ran away to central station to home and then never met that dude bad vibes off him but he never contacted me after that pfff better like that but at the end wow what an experience with an person u met once or two then mushies and then ro the rld bad shit !!!
thus becoz of that i dont like RLD and the environment little bit weird over there

[letshavefun]

I never laughed that hard but i imagined it was pretty funny. Laughing that hard sometimes feels like a nice cleansing. Expect when you throw up of course

I was in Abraxas one year got the fits of giggles so much I couldn't catch my breath. Ended up puking on the seat next to me, tears of laughter streaming down my face. The funny thing was that 5 asain girls were taking photos of me being sick, which made me laugh even more.

[Semprini]

I sadly can't claim this story as my own but two friends on my stag do back in 2004 told me about a funny experience they had with a hooker in the RLD. They were wandering round the area out the back of Stone's bar where all the black women are at the end of what had been a very messy night. They found this really big one and paid to both go in with her. She started to reel off her prices but they said, 'nah, we just want you to play with yourself'. She was a bit taken aback by this and tried to convince them otherwise but she took the money and proceded to put on a show. They said they just sat there giggling at each other until she'd finished. As they went to leave, she said her window was connected to a grocery shop and did they want anything? They ended up giving her the money for some drinks and chocolate before saying their goodbyes and leaving

[FenixNYC]

I walked right past Lady Gaga and her entourage at 3:30 in the morning down the road from Baba during my May 2010 trip.

She was dressed in Gaga mode too with weird heels and a PVC outfit but I was so stoned and jetlagged (was up for 30 + hours straight) I just chalked it up to the random weird people you see in the RLD.

Came home, Googled her tour schedule and lo and behold she was playing the neighoring town the day after I saw her.

And my dumb ass didn't take a pic or say hello, .

[Rusty Shackleford]

First trip with my GF and my ma, seen a crackhead standing like a statue in the middle of the damrack stopping trams

3rd trip another crackhead that looked strangely like Idi Amin facing De Kuil, staring at the sky screaming " I KILL EVERYTHING!!!!""

[cant_think]

Erm, a guy i was with just had a weird whitey type thing where he went and sat in the doorway of 420 as if he was gollum or something - afterwards he claimed he needed the toilet. I also once left Willie Wortels Indica then went to Willie Wortels Sativa and the same bud tender (bald guy) was somehow working at both at the same time - this caused me to walk out of Sativa as it completely freaked me out! Not RLD/Coffeeshop related but I found the presence of pigeons inside McDonalds in Haarlem very odd as well...

[dr'gonzo]

I can manage a red light hooker story but not from the dam.

Kuta beach, Bali, 2002:

Between the hours of midnight and 4am (approx) there was a lady who would ride her pedal bike up and down the tourist district. She would ring the bell on her bike and call out "wanky wanky, banana hand, I do for you..... twenty thousand" (three dollars or so).

I went again in 2009, she had upgraded to a 125cc Honda.

[Lord Average]

............ Not RLD/Coffeeshop related but I found the presence of pigeons inside McDonalds in Haarlem very odd as well...

That reminds me of a trip back in 1985 when a mate & I were in Amsterdam Macdonalds and the milkshake machine behind the counter blew up

Sprayed the staff and walls with pink milkshake. The amazing (and kind of trippy) thing was that they barely reacted and didnt bother to clean it up. They just carried on working ... and kept skating and slipping around in the pool of milk.

[cattales1960]

My first trip to amsterdam, while walking thru the redlight district with my friend, I was offered a job at Casa rosa <sp>. I had no idea what it was but lucky for me I turned them down. ROFL.

[Dr Zoidberg]

Saw a tramp laughing histerically at a cat there last year

[imzm39]

the year was 1999, it our 2nd trip to dam. Both young and lightweights, after having a couple of smokes we were were walking through the RDl. A couple of body builder type guys are walking ahead of us. A guy who looks like he was on crack or something to that effect then walks into the guys. One of the body builder guys then turns aound and says something to the gusy in his own language (sounded scandanavian). The crackhead guy then gets into the karate kid stance (you know then one where he is standing on one leg ready to kick LOL). He then shouts to the two body builder guys while remaining in this stance " do not mess with me I am the master" he then walks off casually

[Popeye]

Saw the stoneriest thing I think I'll ever see when I was over a couple of summers ago when walking up Warmoesstraat - a fella walking his wee dog, doobie perched between the lips. Thing was, he had the dog's leash clipped onto one of his belt-loops.

Another walk about the red saw me ending up walking through a cloud of smoke that some Asian woman had produced from what looked like a joint - the unmistakable fishy smell told me it was H! Felt my eyes droop immediately - was quite spacy for a good half hour or so afterwards as well. Passive smack smoking, disgrace.

That same trip, there was a good few of us over - folk from my mate's work, etc, and we were all out a wander around the windows at night. One of the fella with us was, at the time, about 18st, and was eating or drinking something pretty constantly. Anyway, we get into La Vie En Rose (the covered bit) and yer man's chomping away on a slice of pizza and leering away, when one of the hoors jumped out, put her arms around him and did a wee dance, then shouted 'STOP EATING!'

Nearly pished myself.

[Dave J]

my first time at the RLD me and my bud from NYC are walking near the Old chrunch and see our first windows we walk by and we like WTF hope they dont all look like them ...they was 3 Windows left and right one were black/??/freaky! and fat looking center one was eating KFC was about the sieze or the two other ones i look at her he tell my bud ill pay (lol) if you just go in for a second (lol) the other two come out to tell us she ll do both of us for 5euro I RAN FOR MY LIFE thinking i was next to be eaten she was gross! well all 3 were!

Must be the same 1 we (3 of us that trip) had an experience with 1 trip several years ago. It started off €20 each, we carry on walking then she calls to us €10 each a few steps futher she says €5 each all 3 of us 1 after another!. Was half tempted to try asking if I could have a go for the €5 myself for a few steps lol.

But the best 1 I recall was the same trip, the others wanted to go have another perv through the rld (not me as I went to dam for smoking and not the beer or the rld which is why I prefer going alone these days) 1 evening. We walk round a corner and there are 3 ladies in a row. The others have a look I carry on walking, the second catches my eye, I thought not bad, not bad at all then others start to speed up, I think wtf they wanted to tour the rld!. The third 1 also catches my eye and my attention because she looks different than most of the others but could'nt work out why (had been smoking half the day by then) So she smiles and I smile back, she starts to seductivly move her body as shes sat on the seat. Still wandering what was different about her so pay closer attention slowly stepping forwards, nice face and smile I noticed, good upper body shape for a woman to I think to myself. Nice set of udders (breasts, tits, boobs or whatever you want to call them lol) I think to myself, just how I like them to, nice waist not to skinny or any excess just right for my liking. Look at the legs, perfect, then hang on somethings not right here my instinct tells me. Next thing I notice the woman gets her fucking penis dangling out the side of her bakini bottoms!!!!, fuckin hell we're in tranny street!!!!! and quickly catch the others thinking no wander they got a move on.

Had a right laugh in Ricks over a few beers shortly after even the barmaid laughed when I said nice face, nice tits shame about cock!. Only then did she inform us how to tell the difference as the guys also have blue light in the window to show they are really men!. Did'nt half give me the creeps I can tell you!!!.

[cattales1960]

reading these stories are as fun as reading the trip reports. lol.

[geekymonkey]

reading these stories are as fun as reading the trip reports. lol.

I totally agree. Dave J your stories had me cracking up!