Kansas sucks, I wanna go back to Oz!

[cattales1960]

SC guy seemed to be a lurker... he obviously knew where my map came from, but he didn't seem to be a member. At the very least, he didn't provide a screen name or anything.

Gapie didn't "do" anything to scare the brits, he was just his loud, hyper, adhd self, and even as young guys, probably early 20's, being British they were a little more low-key. Gapie offered to tour-guide them around, and they were like "ummmm.....okaaaaay?...," clearly being too polite to just say "hell no!" We all went outside, then Gapie ran back in for a second, and they just took off running- I mean, full sprint style running- before he came back out!

poor gapie. It is a funny story though that only us that know and love gapie would appreciate. hehe

[FriendlyEdgar]

Saturday, Dec 17

Inspired by my busy Friday, I get out of the apartment at a reasonable time. I start with my first real walk through the RLD... yes, in the early afternoon. I'm not looking for action, just to get an idea of where, exactly, the real RLD is. So far, the only windows I've found have been the ones around the edges, with the old, haggard looking prostitutes, which clearly did not inspire me to spend any time in the area. I remember thinking, really, people actually pay for this?! However, some of the Manchester lads from the previous night were into the scene and they assured me there were in fact hot hookers in Amsterdam!

After figuring out the boundaries of the main RLD, and indeed seeing a few lovely ladies, I head back to Anyday to get more Champagne and have another session on the Verdamper, planning to go back in the evening to see the RLD when it is jumping. I have a nice solo session, and then decide I want to go to Basjoes. This is where it all starts to go wrong. I get confused, turn the wrong way, and don't realize how lost I am until I start seeing things like the "Jordaan Bakery!" Wait a minute, isn't the Jordaan the complete opposite direction from Anyday as Basjoes? Why yes, yes it is! Fuck.

Well, since I'm on the other end of town I decide to head to Amnesia and Grey Area... only I get turned around again! This time, I don't quite figure out where I am until I reach Rembrandtplein! Maybe I should have gotten a real map... one that has all the street names rather than just a few! Whoops!

Okay, lets try to get to Basjoe again... this time I get lost for hours in the area between the canals! After getting FULLY lost three times I find myself back in the RLD... and it is in fact nighttime now! I've been lost for fully 5-6 hours! Well, at least a nighttime walk through the RLD was on the agenda. After walking around the whole RLD 4-5 times for cheap thrills, my feet are killing me so I decide to head back to central and the apartment...

and yes, I get completely lost again! I probably takes me 90 minutes to get from the RLD to Central! All told, I am in town for about 12 hours, and I am lost and walking nonstop for 10 of em! This debacle will have a major impact on the next few days!

Sunday, Dec 18

I wake up and I am soooooooooo sooooooooore! I'm a big guy, and all that lost walking put me in the hurt locker. Fortunately, I still have groceries in the fridge. I get out my stash and my cash to take stock of my situation. Cash- I've been spending a little fast; Stash, well, I take a picture of my stash....

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Top to bottom, left to right (as best I can figure):
Heaven Haze, Dr Grinspoon, Grey Crystals, Sky Hash
Sharkzilla, Heaven Haze, Quaze Haze, Royal Hash
Champagne Haze, ?, Kandy Kush, Amnesia Haze
Terminator 1, 1, and 2

... Yup, I am good to take a day off, rest my achin' bones, save some $, and just work on what I already have! I make a serious dent in LotR, do some laundry and dishes, and then go out for cheap thrills again, with another 90min stroll through the RLD! I only bring 20e with me, in case I need a drink or to stop for a smoke, just in case I try to think with the wrong head. One girl actually does get me to stop and chat for a minute, and I'm glad I didn't bring any money... I still haven't decided where I stand on the issue of directly purchasing sexual favors.

I go home without spending a penny!

[EasilySuede]

Great story! And reminds me of why I like Amsterdam- the variety.

I still haven't decided where I stand on the issue of directly purchasing sexual favors.

I go home without spending a penny!

Just think of it as an opportunity to actually relive history! You're probably well aware that prostitution is the world's oldest profession...

[FriendlyEdgar]

Just think of it as an opportunity to actually relive history! You're probably well aware that prostitution is the world's oldest profession...

I have in fact heard that... I don't think that can be accurate though, because for somebody to pay a prostitute, they have to have a way to make money to pay her!

As for my views on the profession, here's the thing... as hard as I've tried to kill it, there is in fact a repressed New England Catholic trapped inside me!

[TwoCanucks]

This continues to be one of my favorite reports!

[EasilySuede]

As for my views on the profession, here's the thing... as hard as I've tried to kill it, there is in fact a repressed New England Catholic trapped inside me!

Yeah, I was merely funning. There's something in me, don't know what, maybe just good old fashioned spinelessness, that prevents me from even considering a sex purchase.

No question that the socialization that happens during our formative years can carry through the rest of our lives. I've been long gone from the South, where I was raised, but still suffer from M'am Sir Syndrome. Again, great travelogue, sir.

[FriendlyEdgar]

Monday, Dec 19

Another slow day... I sleep in, finish laundry and dishes, take out the garbage, cook, and just relax during the day. In the evening I take my evening walk through the RLD continuing my internal moral debate. I then head to Basjoe and chill with some Heaven Haze before heading home.

After two cheap and boring days, my budget is back in good shape, and I'm looking forward to the next day when I can stop trying to save money!!

Tuesday, Dec 20

Today I make it to my first attraction: Artis Royal Zoo. This is one of the most expensive places where you can use a red Holland pass ticket. It is actually a very impressive zoo! I get there just in time for the lion feeding, which is great fun! Unfortunately, that means I only got there about 2.5 hours before they close, so after the lions, I basically have to run through the rest of the zoo! The butterfly atrium was awesome, as was the aquarium!

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After Artis, I go for my virgin Burger Bar experience- 270g Angus w/Bacon n Cheddar. It is good, but not by any means the epic burger I am hoping for... it is not helped by the fact that I order onion rings for 1e more than fries would cost, and get a bowl with 7 (exactly, it wasn't a difficult count!) small to medium rings!

I go back to basjoe, and go for the something cheap- Jack Herrer. After a while I head home and continue working my way through LotR... yes, still!

Wednesday, Dec 21

For whatever reason, today I do nothing but sit at home and finish (FINALLY!) the extended edition LotR trilogy!

[FriendlyEdgar]

Thursay, Dec 22

Another mostly wasted day... Though I do make it to the Heineken Experience, another high cost red ticket attraction. The small tasting beer during the tour and the two beers at the end represent the ONLY beer I drink the entire 16 days I am in Amsterdam! It is an enjoyable hour or two, but it is definitely a tourist trap!

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On the tram to the Heineken Experience I saw Mellow Yellow, so I head there next. I settle on S5 Haze and Cheeze. When I get my change I immediately know it is wrong! (I may not particularly enjoy math, but I am very good with numbers!) I call the budtender on it. He plays the "oh man, I'm so sorry, that is the second time today I've done that... I don't know what's wrong with me!" I'm not looking for problems so I get the rest of my change and let it roll off my back, but in my mind I'm thinking "the second time you've gotten caught today, maybe!"

It leaves a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth, but both samples I get are highly enjoyable!

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I get home and evaluate my stash and my cash. All my dull days mean my cash in great shape for the last 6 days of my trip, which is great news! As for the stash, well...

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[Boner]

How did I miss this, this is my fave report in a long long time, thank you so much.

Gapie didn't "do" anything to scare the brits, he was just his loud, hyper, adhd self, and even as young guys, probably early 20's, being British they were a little more low-key. Gapie offered to tour-guide them around, and they were like "ummmm.....okaaaaay?...," clearly being too polite to just say "hell no!" We all went outside, then Gapie ran back in for a second, and they just took off running- I mean, full sprint style running- down the street before he came back out!

I proper lol'd at this, gotta love Gapie.

[TwoCanucks]

the pics are fantastic. also have to say I admire anyone who has multiple purchases of Terminator on hand! great stuff, just lovely!

[FriendlyEdgar]

the pics are fantastic. also have to say I admire anyone who has multiple purchases of Terminator on hand! great stuff, just lovely!

lol... of course, on the downside, that may have something to do with all those budget restoration days! But as I said, at this point my budget has been restored, and I have full notecards for each of the remaining days! I promise, the best is definitely yet to come... stay tuned!!

And thank you all for the kind remarks! I can't begin to tell you (though I'm sure you all know!) how much I enjoyed reading trip reports all fall waiting for the time to pass. It is incredibly gratifying to feel like part of the circle!

[verticalSquare]

Great report, Edgar. Thanks for posting.

[verticalSquare]

I still haven't decided where I stand on the issue of directly purchasing sexual favors.

FWIW, the way I think about it is this: why would you want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you? How on earth could this be enjoyable. The idea simply makes me sad.

Anyway... Please continue

[gapie]

Great story! And reminds me of why I like Amsterdam- the variety.

I still haven't decided where I stand on the issue of directly purchasing sexual favors.

I go home without spending a penny!

Just think of it as an opportunity to actually relive history! You're probably well aware that prostitution is the world's oldest profession...

drugs dealer to lol

[gapie]

How did I miss this, this is my fave report in a long long time, thank you so much.

Gapie didn't "do" anything to scare the brits, he was just his loud, hyper, adhd self, and even as young guys, probably early 20's, being British they were a little more low-key. Gapie offered to tour-guide them around, and they were like "ummmm.....okaaaaay?...," clearly being too polite to just say "hell no!" We all went outside, then Gapie ran back in for a second, and they just took off running- I mean, full sprint style running- down the street before he came back out!

I proper lol'd at this, gotta love Gapie.

dont give a fuck about that
i offered them a coffeeshop crawl they were amsterdam virgins
but yeh i had the acd map with me they didnt hahahaha losers and i know all coffeeshop etc. i am a local and they are english first time stoners whahahaaa and i offered them nicely