Kansas sucks, I wanna go back to Oz!

[notsofasteddie]

For my final stop of the night, I go next door to Homegrown Fantasy. The lovely and charming Dublin lass working cheerfully shows me almost the whole menu, with descriptions and recommendations. I notice this is a trend, the female budtenders are much better salespeople! There are several things I want to try, so I ask if I have to buy g's, or if they'll do 1/2's. She has no problem doing 1/2's! I choose SnowDog, Cheese Psychosis, and her favorite, Amazing Haze! I hang out here for a good hour- I am about to leave after 15mins, but then the music takes a sharp turn and for the next 45 minutes we are listening to the Beatles! The other budtender working is English, and watching the two of them interact I wonder why we can't just put these two in charge? Clearly the English and Irish can get along brilliantly, if they want to! After a while, they debate what song they will play next, and I request something from Revolver... the next song is Eleanor Rigby!

The Dublin Lass and the English Guy at HGF are two of the friendliest, most helpful budtenders in Amsterdam. I've visted them on my last two trips and am looking forward to seeing them again later this year!

[FriendlyEdgar]

The Dublin Lass and the English Guy at HGF are two of the friendliest, most helpful budtenders in Amsterdam. I've visted them on my last two trips and am looking forward to seeing them again later this year!

I agree, it will definitely be a place I stop more than once next time I'm there!

Sunday, Dec 25

As I only have 2 days left at the apartment, I start the day cleaning, doing dishes, laundry, etc. I cook chicken and pasta, have lunch and put dinner in the fridge. Then I head to Anyday for my 420 TnT.

I get some Champagne Haze and the Verdamper piece and head upstairs. As I'm cleaning the bowl and chatting with the only other people there, a student from Italy and another from Poland, both living and studying in 'dam (lucky bastards!), I am forced to question the quality of European education. I see the first student reach out to grab the heating element rather than the handle... neither the warning label on the heating element or me jumping out of my seat yelling NOO! stops him... he picks it up, holds it for a minute, and burns his hand! And then the other student decides his friend shouldn't have to suffer alone, so HE PICKS IT UP BY THE ELEMENT TOO!!!

After they both burn themselves, they decide to ask me for help. I start with lesson one, just in case: Pick it up with the small tube with the cord, NOT the big tube with the heating element!

After awhile, Gapie shows up with Bautschi and his friend. We are joined by a lovely young couple from Australia and we settle in for a lengthy session. Bautschi and the Aussies are down to throw down for a Tulip, so we give Gapie a bunch of herbs and put him to work. His first attempt is this little thing that vaguely resembles a... nothing!
**Now let me say, I had asked Gapie early in the trip how much it took for a tulip, and was told 3g plus- well I provide him with 3g or more, plus what the others throw in. So when I see this little thing he rolls and all the herb leftover I throw down the gauntlet!

It takes him three tries to roll a real tulip, though still frankly a smaller one than I expect, but he finally gets it done! The Aussies ask if I am impressed now, to which I reply that I am no longer dissappointed, but we'll have to see if it actually works before I'll be impressed. Well, as we smoke it I am indeed impressed! It burns evenly and smokes very well, and is a great experience!

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After about 3 hours we leave Anyday. Bautschi and his friend go off in search of food, but plan to meet us tomorrow at Voyagers. Gapie and I head to Voyagers, where I learn that I missed the Xmas Eve Kosher Kush. I get some Silver Bubble. We leave, and Gapie heads home. I go for a cheap thrill RLD walk first, and then I head home as well.

Merry Xmas.jpg (143.48 KiB) Viewed 1547 times

[FriendlyEdgar]

Monday, Dec 26

My last day at the apartment...

I head to Voyagers for the 130 TnT. I am the first to arrive (at least of the people I have previously met), so I hang outside and take some pictures.

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** Now that's zoom!

Awwwww....jpg (252.23 KiB) Viewed 1540 times

Shortly, Bautschi and his friend arrive... then Gapie and we head in. LadyJane and her friend arrive, as does GoldenSoles. For a while we are at the bar by the window, taking up half the room, doing bong hits, smoking joints and bowls, and generally having a good time... then the big table opens up and IT IS ON!! GoldenSoles gets a lesson on the Volcano and starts providing bags, and hits off his lovely hash (no clue what kind it was). Bleak shows up as this is just starting. He has some herbs and I break out the Terminator and Grey Crystals! Everybody is blown away by how smooth the Terminator is!

Bleak puts together a little scene and takes pictures... I have him take a couple with my camera as well!

Thanks Bleak.jpg (228.53 KiB) Viewed 1540 times

After an EPIC TnT we get ready to crawl. Bautschi and his friend have to leave, as it's their last day and they have gift shopping to day. Bautschi pulls me aside, tells me he has too much left, and asks me if I can smoke some of his leftovers for him! I tell him I would be honored!! He gives me nearly full grams of Grinspoon and Cheese!! Thanks Bautschi, it was great to meet you both! I'll let you know if I'm going to be in Austria this summer.

LJ's friend is a singer, and remarks how nice the volcano is "on a singer's lungs!" We head to Anyday so she can really have her mind blown! GoldenSoles has a bike, so we expect him to get there first... he doesn't. He's another one I only meet the one time and don't see again...

LJ and friend, Gapie and I have another epic Anyday session!

to be continued...

[FriendlyEdgar]

Dec 26 cont.

As we leave Anyday, I again wonder how I make it down...

Dont know how I survive.jpg (152.64 KiB) Viewed 1532 times

We head to the BurgerBar on Warmo... I follow LJ's lead, 200g Kobe w/Cheddar and Bacon- now THIS is the epic burger I was looking for!! It is fucking orgasmic!

LJ dinner.jpg (241.45 KiB) Viewed 1532 times

**I still don't get the Fries w/mayo thing... but then fries weren't in my budget this evening (they weren't important enough to break a 20!) so hey, to each their own!

We say our goodbyes after dinner. I go for my now nightly cheap thrills walk through the RLD and head home to pack. This is what it looks like after 14 days in the apartment:

Leaving Home.jpg (242.18 KiB) Viewed 1532 times

14 days, 30 empties (1-2 may have been lost along the way) and 11 partials.

[Cisco]

Absolute cracking report really enjoyed/ing reading it , thanks for taking the time some cracking pics too

[woodz60]

Great report, Edgar! It amazes me that people can keep such detailed records of their adventures in the 'dam (I was always too scatter-brained, and didn't bust out my camera nearly enough....) I did, however save most of my baggies until it was time to depart. A couple of years after my last trip to Nederlands, and after a few trips out of the U.S., I found a baggie in the my shaving kit with a small chunk of hash! Needless to say, I was pleased and surprised to find that it smoked very nicely!

Please go back soon, and send more reports, okay?!?

[cattales1960]

what a grreat report edgar! Also I take it your a dead head from your avatar? Always nice to meet another dead head!

[FriendlyEdgar]

Tuesday, Dec 27

Today I am leaving the apartment, moving to the Conscious Hotel Vondelpark for my last two days. At 10:20am, which is 4:20am in Florida, I smoke my last bowl in the apartment- Grinspoon smothered with Crystals and Terminator!!

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I boil out my pipe- I want it clean for the last two days so everything will be tasty!!

Paul comes by and returns my deposit and I start heading to the south end of Vondelpark. My room isn't ready yet, so I drop my stuff, back on the tram, and I head to meet Bleak+1 and GoldenSoles at the Maritime Museum. Unfortunately, in the rush to leave the apartment, I forget to relay the final message to GoldenSoles that I'll just meet them at the museum, and not Voyagers as originally planned.

I get to the museum a little early and am the first one there. I go down the steps across the street down to a little landing on the canal, and sneak a pipeful of Grinspoon! As I come back up the stairs I see Bleak across the street. We wait awhile for GoldenSoles, but eventually give up and start touring the museum... **sorry GS! Both for the museum miscommunication and that I never see you to give you the sample of Basjoe's Royal Hash.

We spend a good couple of hours at the museum!

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Then we head to Bluebird on Bleak's way home. I get the Chocolope. It's fairly busy, and all the Volcano bags are being used, so we just have a quick session w/the pipe. We leave, get to Bleak's place and say our goodbyes. I get directions to Basjoe, where I know my way around from, and I make my way back to the hotel to check in.

The hotel, or at least Tower B where my room is, is a royal pain in the ass!! I have to go up one floor, down a long corridor to another building, and then up another floor to get to the room. Even better, there is no entry/exit from the B tower, so I have to do this every time I come or go! I bet it is almost .5km each way!

I have only used 2 of my 7 Holland pass tickets. Since it is an off night, BoomChicago takes blue tickets (middle value), which is a massive value as tickets are 20e! After this, the three tickets I have used equal the cost of the pass! I pick up my ticket, then head across the street to Coffeeshop @ to get high... hopefully high enough to get the giggles! I get the NYCDiesel and AK47, smoke a few bowls covered in Terminator, and head out to get my laugh on.

NYCDiesel.jpg (147.05 KiB) Viewed 1455 times

I am sitting at a table with some squares from Scotland, and they are big fans of the show, so my expectations rise... unfortunately the show does not live up to their enthusiasm, which they readily admit, saying it was a weak crowd and an off night. It has it's moments, but I'm sure glad I didn't actually pay 20e cash!

True to my promise to myself, I am still in good shape on the budget, so I head to Grasshopper and get the Kali Mist. It is incredible, and at 16-17e I wouldn't complain, but 20e is still ridiculous.

I pick up some papers and head back to the hotel. It is a non-smoking hotel, so I roll a few joints and just walk up and down Overtoom smoking for an hour before heading in to get some sleep. Tomorrow is my final full day, and I want to be ready to RAAAAAGE!!

[FriendlyEdgar]

This juxtaposition may be my favorite thing about Amsterdam!

ChurchCoffeeshopHookers.jpg (241.66 KiB) Viewed 1415 times

Wednesday, Dec 28

This is the end, beautiful friend...

I get going early so I can make the most of my last day. I head to Dolphin to use the Verdamper, but they're not open yet. I try Happy Feelings- not only are they open, but they have Verdampers!! (however, it is a 20e deposit, the worst I encounter!) I check out several things from the menu, and want to try most of them, but the budtender refuses to do half grams. He points to the place on the menu where it says 1g Min., 5g Max as his reason.

** Now the way I would interpret that, you would be required to buy 1g min, but multiple halfs would be fine... after all, it isn't a 5g max of one kind, it is a 5g max total! It makes sense to me that it wouldn't be 1g min of 1 kind, it would be 1g min total.

So instead of buying 4 half g's, including the 3 most expensive flavors on the menu, I instead by 1g of the cheapest one I like, Laughing Buddha. I spend 11e instead of 24-25e. Excellent business plan, my friend! They don't make drinks, they just have crappy vending machines in the back that I can't figure out how to work, so I don't spend money on a drink either! **This would be a great shop if the budtender was both friendlier and more logical... as it is it serves its purpose- I have a nice Verdamper session with the Kali Mist and float on over to the Van Gogh museum.

The Museumkaart allows me to skip the horrific line, an EPIC value!! (The Museumkaart's skip the line is actually better than the Hollandpass skip the line here! HP has a short line, MK has NO LINE!) Walking in it is instantly obvious what a pompous, pretentious museum this is! Metal detectors, security guards everywhere... it's like freaking airport security. While I do enjoy the paintings, that is all there is, with a few bronzes scattered around. No pictures allowed, and I don't bother trying to sneak any. Despite having 4 floors and way more space to cover, the uber-sanitized, pretentious atmosphere is uncomfortable and I am only here for about 90mins, compared to Rijksmuseum where I spend twice the time in half the space!

After Van Gogh I head towards the Jordaan... I need to go to Paradox to get my spacecakes for the flight, and I want to check out the Anne Frank House. I go to AFH first, and the line is down the block and around the Westerkerk... no thanks, not standing in line for hours for anything today! I pick up my spacecakes, and start making my way back to center of town. The line is still out of control at AFH, so it will have to wait til next time. I start to make my way back to the hotel to freshen up for the evening, stopping at Blue Lagoon on Overtoom. I try their Crush for 8e.

After freshening up, I head back to Leidseplein and trade another blue ticket for a Boom Chicago ticket. Last night was the Big Holiday Show, and tonight is the Social Media Circus. Since the fans the night before said it was an off night, I decide I'll give them another chance- mostly just to get some more value out of my Hollandpass. I head down to Dolphins to pregame on the Verdamper. I buy one of their pure hash/weed mix joints, since it's the cheapest thing they have and I know I'll just be giving it away... and then the budtender (not the one from my previous two visits), gives me a hard time when I want to use the Verdamper since I didn't buy grams of anything. I wear her down and she lets me use it.

A group of young people are watching me, and we start talking. It is 2 guys and 1 woman from Spain, probably all early 20's, maybe even late teens. Only one of the guys is comfortable speaking English, and we hit it off right away. Tomorrow will be their last day. The other guy is complaining about being tired and wanting to sleep in tomorrow. I can see in his eyes that my new friend is not at all happy about this, so I try to help him out...

I pick on tired-boy MERCILESSLY!! "I'm more than a decade older than you and a hundred pounds heavier... I've been up since 7am and I don't expect to go to bed until 2-3am! Are you gonna let this fat old man out-party you for the last down in Amsterdam?! Are you kidding me?! You can sleep for a fucking week when you get home! Why would you want to SLEEP on your last day in Amsterdam?!?!"

I keep throwing barbs at this guy for an hour and you can see his shame growing and growing. Meanwhile, my friend is just grinning ear to ear... he keeps saying thank you, telling me how much I'm helping him out. I tell him I know!

This group was mostly getting ready to leave when I started my session... an hour later I am heading out to BoomChicago and they are buying White Dolphin and getting their own Verdamper going! I just love being a bad influence!

Boom Chicago is meh again, and I leave at intermission. I am almost back in the main square at Leidseplein when one of the Hostesses chases me down. All accusatory-like, she asks "Did you pay your check?!" Now, let me back up a second... before ordering a bottle of water, I ask how much it is. When the waiter comes back, I have exact change and he won't take it! "You pay at the end of the show." When I decide to leave, I put the exact change on my table and tell my neighbors the situation. I see the waiter on the way out and tell him as well. I explain all this to the woman. "Next time you need to make sure you get a receipt, blah blah blah...!" Well, first of all, there won't BE a next time! And second of all, if you're all hung up on me needing a receipt, maybe you should tell your waiters not to REFUSE TO ACCEPT PAYMENT when somebody wants to pay!

I head to Basjoe where I'm meeting Bleak at 11. He is going to hang on to my pipe for me. I get there early and buy my final smoke of the trip- Heaven Haze of course! Then I settle in to roll the rest of my stash, saving a few highlights for a morning Verdamper session. I have 2 kinds of hash, and the remains of like 7-8 kinds of weed. I break it all up and start rolling cannons until Bleak arrives... he says he wants to get really high before going home to bed... well, that can be arranged!! We smoke bowl after bowl covered in Crystals and Terminator, I try his MagicFlight, and we just get ripped! We hang out for an hour or more. I give him whats left of my "travel bag"s of Crystals and Terminator... He says he can't take it, it's too much, until I show him what I still have for myself and explain I'm leaving in 9 hours!

Bleak and I part ways, and I go for a final walk through the RLD (finding 20e on the street! not the 500e bill I frequently daydream about finding, but I'll take it!! ...and I still have it! I leave with exactly the 20e I found left!!) and head to Central... it is after 1 when I get there, and I have never learned how the nightbus works... uh oh! I look at my $ and decide how much I'm willing to spend on a cab- as long as it gets me to Overtoom I'll be okay... I explain the situation to the driver, lying and saying I have exactly 13e. The 13e gets me most of the way, and the driver is very nice and takes me the rest of the way for free!!

Again I walk around outside for an hour smoking joints before going to bed at 3am, the alarm set for 7.

Thursday, Dec 29

I get up, pack the last few things, shower, check out, eat a spacecake, and head for Anyday for my final session. I get there about 20mins early, even after getting off the tram 1 stop too early, so I walk around the block and smoke a couple of joints until they open. This is when Anyday overtakes Basjoe as my #1 favorite shop- it is open for my final session and has Verdampers! I vape Kali Mist, Heaven Haze, NYCDiesel and Champagne Haze!! In between flavors, I start to give the budtender my leftovers. I don't give it away all at once in case Gapie shows up, but I later learn he misinterprets my 3am pm. It is just me and the budtender (who may or may not be the owner), and we have a great conversation. **Between that and the gifts, I think there is a fighting chance he remembers me when I get back!**

As the witching hour approaches, I open the last of the Terminator and just start STUFFING the end of one of the cannons I rolled the night before! I must put half a gram in, on top of what I put on the paper when I was rolling it! I save a last little taste for the budtender, trade him most of the gram of Laughing Buddha for a bottle of water and go outside. I smoke the half of the joint that is stuffed with Terminator and leave the other half in the ashtray... hopefully some brave soul picked it up, smoked it, and had their mind BLOWN!!

I take a final picture:

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Again, my favorite image of Amsterdam- Church, Coffeeshop, Hookers!!

I make my way back to Central, get my ticket, and head to the airport. As we approach, I use some eye drops and eat my last spacecake.

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So ends my debut trip report! Thank you all for reading, I hope I am writing another one soon!


Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul.

[gapie]

u can get the real pic on here no worries they know me

[FriendlyEdgar]

u can get the real pic on here no worries they know me

That's what I figured, just wanted an ok from you first! Great to meet you, I'll be back in May or June... or BOTH!!!

[Rusty Shackleford]

Sweeeeet

[Boner]

Top job, sad it's all over, might meet you in May.

[FriendlyEdgar]

Final Stats
Coffeeshops- 15 + Nes
Purchases- 27
Flavors- W- 26 H- 6
Whitey's- 0!
$- ? all of it!

[gapie]

cool
hope to see u again
it was a fun stoney time man
thnx cya soon
sweet next time i will get try hold of the lefrovers mwhahhahaaaa