Amsterdam Coffeeshop Directory Forums

“One Trip Wonders”

G'day. I did have another title picked out for mine and Sal's Amsterdam and Paris trip. It was going to be “And a Dream came True.” This title seems to have been picked for me though.

It was a dream come true though. Ever since I (Slip) was a 16 year old boy, I had been dreaming of Amsterdam. When I first heard of a land far across the ocean, in a far away land that actually let you smoke cannabis in freedom, in public, in a coffeeshop, well I knew I had to pay it a visit. To imagine even seeing one of these establishments would be amazing. To smoke in it WOW! These are the thoughts I had.

Around 19- 20 years old, I was lucky enough to find an Angel. She was beautiful, she shone in my eyes. This Angel was even more fantastic, as she loved me back. As much as I loved her. She also didn't care if I smoked. The Perfect woman!

Sal was this angel. We also shared the same dream of travelling. Once I had told her of the wonderful freedoms enjoyed in Amsterdam, she was in on the plan.

Many times over the next 10 years we attempted to start our adventure. Life had different plans. Sickness, injury and even plan old money tried to defeat our dream each time we got close. The fire still burned though. We yearned to experience the world, Life wasn't going to beat us. Many times denied , try as we might,sometimes we felt as though it would never happen. Then one day, out of the blue, I said “Fuck it Let's just go!” to which my Angel replied, “OK” and it was done.

Suddenly it felt as if I were Dreaming.........

25.10.2011


The adventure had begun. Here we are Slip and Sal roaring through the heavens in an almighty flying bubble. Never had we experienced aviation like this before. This plane was huge. We crossed over the last coastal line of Australia and looking down upon it was surreal. This was our maiden international voyage and for the first time travelling at great distance, 24 hours on a plane, seemed like an eternity. Especially when they wouldn't serve me beer for breakfast.

26.10.2011
Then like that the seatbelt signs were alight again, the plane was banking and coming in for landing with a bump skip and a thud, we had touchdown. Exit plane now the real trouble begins. After harassing the first airport staff we found to enquire about how to purchase tickets to get to Amsterdam we departed upon the 7:30am train from Schipol to Centraal Station.

Now we are Australian and you must remember we come from a very hot country and the seasons are alternate to the Northern Hemisphere. When we left it was around 30 degrees Celsius. Summer. So we were dressed in our casual summer attire. The plane we were on was heated, the Airport was heated, the train we stepped onto was heated. But as we arrived at Centraal Station we noticed a change in the air. We were excited possibly not thinking for not having sleep for 24 hours and almost ignorant to how cold the air could possibly be. I had short denims on, Sal had a skirt. As we exited the front door of Cetraal Station the first thing to hit us was not the early morning sun shining on the golden enamel of Centraal Station, it was not the hordes of people from different nationalities, and not even the amazement that we were finally in Amsterdam. What did hit us though fair smack in the face, legs, and any other uncovered area of our bodies, was the freezing icy wall of wind being thrown at us from what we thought would have been from the north pole itself. I guess it was. I think we moved about a metre from the door before we were doing exactly as we were told not to and ripping our luggage apart to find as many warm coverings as possible. The next time we go to Amsterdam were are remembering not to place our long pants at the bottom of a bag so they are impossible to retrieve. Needless to say our legs were the purplest things in Amsterdam that day. Purple Haze had nothing on us.

Awestruck and realising we needed to contact the host of our accommodation we attempted to use the phone outside Centraal Station. Many coins went into this machine and many foreigners gave instructions on how to use it but still no one could get it to work. We spent nearly a total of half an hour working on that communication device still to no avail. All of a sudden Slip pipes up and says”Fuck this, I can't handle this fucking phone, I'm in Amsterdam for fucks sakes please can I just go and get stoned.” Sal replied with a solemn “Yes” and asked “where should we go,” thinking we both don't know where we are. Slip's ultimate sense of direction kicked in and he replied “Ok just follow me, Centraal Coffeeshop and Voyagers is just over here.” Sal asked “How do you know that.” Slippy replies “I've been studying.”

So we made a bee line straight towards those coffeeshops. As we walked we found Centraal CS and continued around the corner to Voyagers. This time we found the early bird totally missed the fucking worm as it was not open yet. So we went back 10 metres ha ha to Centraal CS.



Slippy led the charge telling Sal to perch up since we were both still carting massive suitcases and he would choose our selection. Slip waltzed up to the counter extended his arm and shook the hand of the bud tender. The bud tender was a little surprised by this but smiled and handed back a hearty handshake. Slip is a major old school skunk lover and used to have weed cards (like baseball cards but with weed on them), on these weed cards was a strain called Super Skunk. This is one strain that Slippy had been dreaming of smoking for fourteen years and that's exactly what he came back with. He got 1.7 grams for 12.50 euro. He said the case was mad, the one the bud tender had. It had every different sort of weed he'd ever heard of sitting in front of his eyes in little pre packaged gift bags for you to salivate over. Slip also mentioned that the bud tender was really nice he had given him some papers to roll a joint and some little cards about 1 inch by ½ inch rectangles of card paper. Slip said “Isn't that cool they even give you little bits of paper so you can write what strain it is, but it's a bit funny cause these are all pre named (you know what they are just let the weed report play out). Sal agrees:)

So Slip rolls up one mega doobie of Super Skunk and sparks that shit up. While we were there a nice Dutch fellow named Roy yarned with us. He gave us advice and was generally all round nice. Thanks Roy. So Slip and Sal toked away on that Super Skunk doobie, but about half way Slip pulls up abruptly, turns his head and bellows “Holy Shit, I'm fucked Sal, and I've only had half a joint.” Sal replies she is feeling the same way. Slip wonders did I get this stoned because I'm tired, because I haven't smoked in a day, or because it's just that strong. If it did happen to be the latter, Slip knowing that Super Skunk isn't the strongest weed at all any more, starts to wonder if he will be able to take on Amsterdam like he thought he could.

The Super Skunk cost 12.5 euro for 1.7 grams. It was nice taste a little fruity, nothing overly special. Not the dream weed of Slip's 16 year old self. Not very Skunky tasting at all. In Australia the smell of good Skunk is a lot like Koala poo. We haven't had that around for 10 years though. This Super Skunk was well dried and it's ash was white. First thing I started checking after I learnt that from here.



The hit we both got from only half a joint after not having any for 24 hrs was immense. We were royally smashed. So we packed up and thought it was now a good time to go back and try the phone again. At Centraal station again now, again trying to put money in the phone or buy phonecards, just this time, the idea that it would be easy stoned, was totally wrong. We spent another 30 mins doing this, until Slippy basically frustrated grabs a stoner looking guy walking past, puts his hands on both of his shoulders and asks assertively “How do you work these phones mate!” Stoner guy replies laughing and really stoned like “They haven't worked in a year man!” Well lesson one learnt.

Off again as we were freaking that our host would miss us, we already thought we were late. We found a little internet cafe' and finally got to use a phone only to receive an answering machine. Read our E-mail and she couldn't make it until 1:00pm not 7:30 am like she said. Phew! Time to relax. Slippy gets a little paranoid about the accommodation thinking he might have been ripped as we used Airbnb.com. Had seen some bad reports from a few years ago. We decided we would not worry about that and see how it turned out.

So what do you do now, it's about 9:00 am in Amsterdam, what any stoners would. Get more stoned. The closest Coffeeshop we could see from here that looked welcoming was Rokerij 11 it is the one that is near a Bulldog and a The Doors. It look cool from the outside. All the windows open, people choofing out in the open basically. Just like we had imagined Amsterdam. We walked over and inviting looking clouds were wafting out of the shop and floating off down the canals. There seemed to be a lot of action about even though it was early.

We decided that we didn't want to have good stuff. The Super Skunk had dazzled us a bit, we think it was more jet lag, but we needed some billies(bongs) to chill. So Slip asked the Bud tender there for his worst weed. The budtender was nice and told Slip he didn't want that as it was really bad, but some of his cheaper Jamaican Sweetness for 5 Euro a gram wasn't too powerful and would do the trick. We sat down on the ridiculously low stools, still with our luggage with us, borrowed a billy from the waitress at the coffee counter down the back. Chopped up. The weed didn't look that great, looked like good outdoor buds. Had some seeds, found four in a gram. Didn't taste awful though. Slip had four cones and Sal had three. We started to finally relax and realise where we finally were. We were awe struck. Even more so we just got to Amsterdam and within 2 hours had scored twice, How cool is this place!


Jamaican sweetness

So once again, we now decided to move. Upon standing, something hit us. We were really stoned. The atmosphere felt electric and the morning air crisp. We thanked the bud tender and coffee chick for the bong. It seemed at the moment even the “not so good” of Amsterdam had rattled our brain. So Slip leading the way charged out of the CS, Sal following. Totally out of his tree, he proceeds to step straight forward out of the CS looking the Australian way, when attempting to cross the street. Suddenly only from the luck of his angels grasp(Sal reefing slip backwards), Slip is pulled in reverse just as he sees his life flash before his eyes with a passing honk and a brinnngg!!! That's right almost only 2 hours in Amsterdam and Slip had nearly been taken out by a car and a granny's bike. Needless to say, from that moment on Slip was very aware of the fact that cars and traffic travels on the different side of the road to Australia. Slip then cleaned his undies and we decided to make it to the unit which might not be.

The unit was on Houtmankade. Now the thing was where are the fucking street signs???? There are no poles, with street names upon them. How do we know where we are? First we started following the curves in the road. It worked until we got to Houtmankade and it is both sides of the canal. Luckily we finally spotted the name on the building. That would be a good thing to point out to newbies. We spotted our unit from the other side of the canal. We stopped and looked across, we could notice it from the window dressings. Slip yells” Thank Fuck for that, I to stoned to walk anymore” Sal laughs, then we notice something. Oops we are standing out the front of a police station, yelling about being smashed. Better get to the otherside quick hey.

The chick who rented us the place was named Noelle. Very awesome chick, awesome unit.


Next mission, find a Billy like Slip's little normal one. Back down to the middle and we score nearly an exact replica for only 6.50 euro. Bargain! Tried a canna pop! They suck!

Next stop is Betty Boop. First place that we seen had upstairs smoking area. It looked pretty classy too, so we entered. Here we met Michael the budtender. Slip was in an astonishingly good mood and did the handshake thing again. Michael shook his hand but looked up with one of the worst, bored, sad looks on his face. He was rolling joints. Slip commented “why such a sad face mate!” Michael replied ”Ah Just working you know, Shit!” Slip nearly fell over backwards, he picked his jaw up off the floor and proceeded to proclaim “Ya fucking joking aren't ya mate! You are sitting here rolling fucking joints as an occupation and you think it's shit, It's my dream job!!!” It was taken with the joking overtones as it was expressed and suddenly Michael flashed us a happier, cheekier grin and said “yeah your right” After that we purchased a gram of White Widow for 9 euro a gram. Another one crossed off the bucket list for Slip. We christened the little Bong upstairs and it was good smoke for 9euro. It was all proper. Proper flush, proper cure. White ash. It got us pretty messy but as it was the first day everything felt that way to us. So I think the strength would have been average. It was a sweet tasting weed, slight fruit, but more on the sugary side, and the taste was fairly light. The stairs are truly steep in Amsterdam as we found out on the way down. After a couple, they really seem steeper too. There is also a trick to that shop. We tried about three different methods of leaving this CS. Jumping up to make the camera open the sliding door, moving backwards and forwards to get the sensor to see you, even a little dance, before we heard the locals all laughing behind us. We turn around and Michael explains and points to us that there is a exit button to push on the wall, to left you out. Good joke guys, we thought so as we left, so did they their cackles could be heard as we ventured away.










Finally we made it to see Dam square, the white obelisk standing in all it's glory. Sal said it's the Dick of Amsterdam. Slip would be proud to own that. Will also experienced the fine cuisine of the Dutch, Friets and Mayo.

Now as we thought we hadn't tortured ourselves enough, it was high time we went shopping. We wanted coffee in the morning. The Albert Heijn just off the dam was easy enough to be found. The problem being that now you had two Australians with no idea how to read Dutch trying to shop. Stupidly we thought, they would have everything in English here as well. Well we found out just how wrong we were and how interesting shopping in a different country can be. Firstly Milk wow after half an hour we got some halfvolle melken. Uh oh. Now cheese, don't mention cheddar to the dutch, they thinking your fucking with them. Serious, that's all Australians eat. What the fuck is 48+ or 30+ cheese? Nice lady helped us. Now ham, what is with all the ham. We got like three sorts in OZ land, you might get shaved if your upper class but the dutch have serious ham issues, like ham seventy different ways and none are called ham. Bacon, it's so thin. Oh my god how do we live without thicker bacon? Can we not find it? Probably not. We started to nearly crack it a bit as everyone was rushing around and not helping us, but we did realise it's not there fault they are busy and we are stoned people who can't read Dutch or hardly decipher what our hands are at the moment. Finally we found a good aisle the Alcohol one. Sal finds 1 litre bottles of Bicardi Breezers, she is now in second heaven, Slip can't find a rum substitute, but grabs a few beers, the one thing he knows what it is. Bananas were also cheap compared to Australia at the time. 10 dollars Australian a kilo only 1.7 euro here, another Bargain. Time to pay. Money is crazy. Everything is different, never used Euro before, takes a little time, checking the numbers on the coins. Ask for bags, pay again, then pack our stuff while a line of Dutch wait patiently for us . Back to our base now. Our day is done, it is night, we can go to sleep now. We smoke up, rug up and collasp into bed, totally exhausted, and holy fuck we are in AMSTERDAM!

Great read so far! Same thing happened to me! "Holy shit this is strong! I better chill for a while!" I had the SSH from HGF....hands shook so bad with excitement as i tried to roll a joint.

Lol a decent read and rather similar in some ways to my first trip to Dam being my first trip overseas by myself. As what you research endlessly for a first Amsterdam trip can never replace what you would know from experience on a second never researched trip lol.

It sounds like you two are truly on an adventure! I can't wait to hear more of your exploits. The first time in a foreign land can be daunting, but it seems as though you are getting the hang of things.

Cheers!

was on a awesome adventure, a bit belated. I feel I owe a bit of entertainment though, for all their help.

Excellent start fucking love Bettys that door button was a pain not helpful when stoned

Any chance of getting the original size menus for the Coffeeshop Menus page?

Enjoy
FlyByNite

Oh my, I'm so glad that it was a warm night when I was in Betty's and so the doors were just open. I would have never figured it out.

I'm really enjoying your report so far- you are very funny. Stoned grocery shopping can be quite the adventure. Thanks! for taking the time.

FlyByNite you certainly can get the originals if you want, would be glad to help but I don't know how???And we got a fair few more menus I think. That door is funny as.

Slip & Sal wrote:FlyByNite you certainly can get the originals if you want, would be glad to help but I don't know how???And we got a fair few more menus I think. That door is funny as.

Go to http://www.coffeeshopmenus.org/CoffeeshopMenus.htm then


In no way is this site intending to advertise any coffeeshop.
These menus are for recreational purposes only.
Coffeeshop menus are in a constant state of change so
the prices and strains may or may not be out of date.

If you happen to be in Amsterdam and notice any menus with
different prices or new strains offered., get a picture.
I would like to have as many current menus here as possible
for your shopping pleasure.

All menus can be emailed to


CoffeeshopMenus@gmail.com

Good start, interesting read. Keep it up please.

Man, I can remember my first trip in 1995, It was just amazing from the moment we stepped off the plane.
Camping and hostels for a month! Walking didnt bother us at all cause we were 20 and in shape...The guilder(we americans so miss the Guilder), Shrooms!!
So many pushers around redlight district it was ridiculous.
Best trip ever!

Great start to the report, can't wait for the rest...

Nice start, and may I say that you are first trip wonders

Loving this report, brings back some of the craziness that is part of everyone's first visit to Mokum....