Re: THE STAG (Fishnets,Peep Shows And Er...Burger Bars...)
Posted: Tue 5th Jun 2012 01:05 am
Monday... Monday.....
08:00AM
I awake to find Grumpy-D-LO,Truffle and the Silver Fox shuffling about packing the last of their bags. They had arranged to meet up with the Sexual Predator then head of to Schipol for the early flight home.
I have 13 hours to kill..
The Silver Fox gifts me the last of his Mango Haze( about a good Gs worth) and a wee bit off Bubblegum ( spliffs worth)
Asked the lads what they thought of the trip, they loved it....then proceeded to complain about how expensive it is over there.......wound me up abit, the whole weekend I had been telling them that they had been drinking in the most obvious tourist traps around the centre... nevermind though, I wouldnt change one thing about the trip.
08:30AM
Handshakes and chest pumps done I thank the lads for a belter weekend and they head down the hallway........Im suddenly left by myself.....pipe and a spliff anyone???
Roll up the Bubblegum and manage to fashion an old skool tin pipe out of a coke tin...... BANG!! Memories of being 15 again
I needed to be out of the room by 09:30 so a quick shower and roll up a couple of mangoes.
09:00AM
Fishnets,Wig, Hotpants, toy soldier packed into my bag to keep as trophys of one of the greatest weekends of my life!!!
I head down the stairs to offically sign out of the room. I ask the guy behind the desk if they would hold onto my luggage until my flight leaves.... "NO!! USE CENTRAAL STATION!!" Jesus Christ chill out only a question, any other place I had stayed always stored my luggage no questions asked....I had already wasted 3 mins off precious time..
So I head out and turn right, I try to call the other lads to see if I could get to them before they decided to make their final day 'purchases'
Ballix! No credit in my phone, gonna have to go on a hunt to see if I could spot anyone knocking about, back round towards the Warmoestraat stand outside HSB, stoned and shouting to see if I could get the attention of any of the lads that were staying in the apartment directly above, got a few stares, it only took 3 days and I had become someone who id have laughed at on arrival.
Poked my face into the Old Quarter to see if there was anyone there...nope...
Thought I would take a wee dander round onto the Oudezijds Voorburgwal to sit for a wee toke for half hour then come back round for a munch. Was a quality way to start a Monday morning.
Get a text from Grumpy..."did I leave my phone charger in the hotel mate" Back round to the hotel again, the guy was dead on and let me go up and check the room, got it!
10:00AM
Old Quarter, scrambled eggs, toast, bacon...tasty! As I said before the staff are great here, as I sat and waited for El Cheeko and Drainpipe got a couple of glasses of free coke and they asked me did I want to leave my bag with the other lads...Perfect!
After this I went uptsairs to see what they were playing at......on my way up I kept gettin big whiffs of green....
Banged on their door, the door opens and what I find is well a MESS....they had decided to have abit of a wake and bake before breakfast, they didnt have to be out until 11am so I joined in
Drainpipe once again returns from the bog "Lads Im devastated" ,"Why?" ,"Well it wont move" "What do ye meen it wont move??"
Basically he`d done his bussiness and now it was stuck to the shelf, this had me in hysterics, all I could think about was some poor backpacker arriving tired,sweaty, praying to him/herself please please please let the toilet be clean!!
11:00AM
We get down stairs to find the rest of the troop gathered at the front doors, they forget about breakfast.
The lads ask me "Where did ye get that mad shit on Friday before you met us in the HSB??" "Voyagers"
"How far is it???" FFS
We arrive and enter, made sure everyone had there IDs on them. It wasnt HB on the counter, was another friendly English guy, went through each of the strains with us.
Morrocan 1.2 G MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Kaligria 1 G This was a nice upper weed, could smoke this all day
El Cheeko goes for some seriously lethal smelling Kandy Kush
Skizo Kandy Kush
Drainpipe Blue Cheese
Everyone made purchases here
Once outside they were all commenting on the service and quality off the weed, stating "Well Ive just found my first coffeeshop hit next time im in town"
HSB for a bit of a session and a few milkshakes.
The Kaligria was a nice high, kept me alert and buzzy which was what I was hoping for.
Every couple of minutes I kept hearing the lads exclaiming "BALLIX, TASTY, QUALITY,"
There was a group of English lads who had entered and where on their "mission" Dumping truffles into their milkshakes, would have loved to been there for went they had eventually kicked in!
Talk turned to MUFFINS
The Red Hand had mentioned that he liked the cake he had got from HGF, so we dander straight on down towards Dam Square.
Now what I must mention here is the delight on Skizos face when he notices the GIANT CLOG that sits outside the 'Delf' shop on the Nes.
"HOLY SHITE, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SHOE!!!"" He then proceeds to throw a group of kids out of the way and hijack it. "QUICK LADS, TAKE MY PIC, QUICK" Now the pic of him I have is my fav of the weekend, you can tell that he thought this was the greateast thing he`d ever seen!!! Take his Peep Show enthusuiasm times it by a million *tears streaming as im writing this*
*Forgot to mention that Herbert at this stage only had enough for his train ticket home, the boys keep him well covered.
I hadnt heard much about HGF cakes, I buy 2.....you know just to make sure they work......
13:30 PM Back at HSB AGAIN....... doesnt really bother me If im honest ive got my gear sorted, love the music in here anyways, so im a happy man.
The cakes I bought were hazelnut, fired the first into my gub, yum!! toked and waited........... Not to bad, definatley very chilled but I dunno if it was all the other spliffs and bongs that were being passed around.
14:30 PM
Few of the lads wanna head round to the Smoking Bull, not really up for it, so me El Cheeko, Herbert and the Bullet go for a wee dander, we end up chillling outside the Hemp Museum in the sun.
Share my cake with Herbert and he skins up a wee spliff of something. We get talking and they ask about 420 cafe that I had obsessivly talked about back home.
15:00PM
We hit the 420 within minutes, pull up a stool at one of the high tables that run up the right hand side of the shop.Bought everyone a drink, 6 euro, thats what I like to hear, mates shit them when I tell them.
So we proceed to smoke our faces off, the Bullet is constantly rolling Super Silver Haze spliffs, then El Cheeko rolls and super tasty Kandy Kush spliff *OG KUSH X TRAINWRECK*
Now at this stage the convo swings to the Kandy Kush, "WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO CROSS TO OF THE MOST MONGING STRAINS ID EVER SMOKED"
The other half of space cake must have kicked in because I was completley monged, like seriously monged, looked up at El Cheeko and he says
"Lad seriously, I can`t remember the last time I actually felt 'Normal"
After this statement, things kind of went quiet..... the four of us were completly pie eyed. Inside I was struggling to keep myself togather, seriously, I was holding onto my brain with my finger nails.
12 Lads travelled here and not one person had a whitey, I was so close to becoming the first. After I had pulled my balls out of my purse I was sweet to continue.
Mates really enjoyed this spot*
Tunes really helped my to calm down in here :
17 :00 PM
Getting close to hometime now, needed to get round and meet with the rest of the lads. Met up in the Smoking Bull where the lads had gained a few extra members in the group. 3 lads from Birmingham back in the UK, now these lads looked like something from Mad Max, all tattoed and pierced up. One had his full face inked. Really nice guys had a few games of pool and toked a few spliffs with them.
18:15PM
Needed a munch, they all headed towards grabbing some shitty, stale pizza slices costing near 5 euros a slice, I begged them to follow me, hitting up the Burger Bar for one last time.....Philly Steak,Blue Cheese, Onions. They did follow me and yes they munched there face of...and to my disbelief one of them says to me "You kept this place quiet" really???
19 :30 PM
Collect the bags from the Old Quarter, hit Centraal Station, aimlessly roam wasted around for 30 mins not being able to find the right platform...onto Schipol Airport.
Through customs without a problem..........although I have to say that as im being frisked by the security and walk off I hear in dutch
"blah, blah, Coffeeshops, blah, blah, blah" then some laughing
21:00 PM
Most chilled out flight home ever, through customs, back home in Belfast
Paradise eh????
Get home to the Fiance, "Your back alive then???"
Back to the Bucket of low grade polm..........
So glad everything went smootly.......... No one Died* No one Arrested* No Fights*
13.2 G Weed Purchased
300000000 Units Of Alcohol Drank
*More than likely the lads will never read this but if they ever do, I just wish to thank them for one seriously fucked up weekend, and lets not forget im the first one out of us to get married, your STAGS are still to come around and when they do I will be making sure you get done worse than me ten fold..............
Oh forgot to mention, if the Dutch Tourist board would like to use this as an advertisement ...work away
08:00AM
I awake to find Grumpy-D-LO,Truffle and the Silver Fox shuffling about packing the last of their bags. They had arranged to meet up with the Sexual Predator then head of to Schipol for the early flight home.
I have 13 hours to kill..
The Silver Fox gifts me the last of his Mango Haze( about a good Gs worth) and a wee bit off Bubblegum ( spliffs worth)
Asked the lads what they thought of the trip, they loved it....then proceeded to complain about how expensive it is over there.......wound me up abit, the whole weekend I had been telling them that they had been drinking in the most obvious tourist traps around the centre... nevermind though, I wouldnt change one thing about the trip.
08:30AM
Handshakes and chest pumps done I thank the lads for a belter weekend and they head down the hallway........Im suddenly left by myself.....pipe and a spliff anyone???
Roll up the Bubblegum and manage to fashion an old skool tin pipe out of a coke tin...... BANG!! Memories of being 15 again
I needed to be out of the room by 09:30 so a quick shower and roll up a couple of mangoes.
09:00AM
Fishnets,Wig, Hotpants, toy soldier packed into my bag to keep as trophys of one of the greatest weekends of my life!!!
I head down the stairs to offically sign out of the room. I ask the guy behind the desk if they would hold onto my luggage until my flight leaves.... "NO!! USE CENTRAAL STATION!!" Jesus Christ chill out only a question, any other place I had stayed always stored my luggage no questions asked....I had already wasted 3 mins off precious time..
So I head out and turn right, I try to call the other lads to see if I could get to them before they decided to make their final day 'purchases'
Ballix! No credit in my phone, gonna have to go on a hunt to see if I could spot anyone knocking about, back round towards the Warmoestraat stand outside HSB, stoned and shouting to see if I could get the attention of any of the lads that were staying in the apartment directly above, got a few stares, it only took 3 days and I had become someone who id have laughed at on arrival.
Poked my face into the Old Quarter to see if there was anyone there...nope...
Thought I would take a wee dander round onto the Oudezijds Voorburgwal to sit for a wee toke for half hour then come back round for a munch. Was a quality way to start a Monday morning.
Get a text from Grumpy..."did I leave my phone charger in the hotel mate" Back round to the hotel again, the guy was dead on and let me go up and check the room, got it!
10:00AM
Old Quarter, scrambled eggs, toast, bacon...tasty! As I said before the staff are great here, as I sat and waited for El Cheeko and Drainpipe got a couple of glasses of free coke and they asked me did I want to leave my bag with the other lads...Perfect!
After this I went uptsairs to see what they were playing at......on my way up I kept gettin big whiffs of green....
Banged on their door, the door opens and what I find is well a MESS....they had decided to have abit of a wake and bake before breakfast, they didnt have to be out until 11am so I joined in
Drainpipe once again returns from the bog "Lads Im devastated" ,"Why?" ,"Well it wont move" "What do ye meen it wont move??"
Basically he`d done his bussiness and now it was stuck to the shelf, this had me in hysterics, all I could think about was some poor backpacker arriving tired,sweaty, praying to him/herself please please please let the toilet be clean!!
11:00AM
We get down stairs to find the rest of the troop gathered at the front doors, they forget about breakfast.
The lads ask me "Where did ye get that mad shit on Friday before you met us in the HSB??" "Voyagers"
"How far is it???" FFS
We arrive and enter, made sure everyone had there IDs on them. It wasnt HB on the counter, was another friendly English guy, went through each of the strains with us.
Morrocan 1.2 G MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Kaligria 1 G This was a nice upper weed, could smoke this all day
El Cheeko goes for some seriously lethal smelling Kandy Kush
Skizo Kandy Kush
Drainpipe Blue Cheese
Everyone made purchases here
Once outside they were all commenting on the service and quality off the weed, stating "Well Ive just found my first coffeeshop hit next time im in town"
HSB for a bit of a session and a few milkshakes.
The Kaligria was a nice high, kept me alert and buzzy which was what I was hoping for.
Every couple of minutes I kept hearing the lads exclaiming "BALLIX, TASTY, QUALITY,"
There was a group of English lads who had entered and where on their "mission" Dumping truffles into their milkshakes, would have loved to been there for went they had eventually kicked in!
Talk turned to MUFFINS
The Red Hand had mentioned that he liked the cake he had got from HGF, so we dander straight on down towards Dam Square.
Now what I must mention here is the delight on Skizos face when he notices the GIANT CLOG that sits outside the 'Delf' shop on the Nes.
"HOLY SHITE, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SHOE!!!"" He then proceeds to throw a group of kids out of the way and hijack it. "QUICK LADS, TAKE MY PIC, QUICK" Now the pic of him I have is my fav of the weekend, you can tell that he thought this was the greateast thing he`d ever seen!!! Take his Peep Show enthusuiasm times it by a million *tears streaming as im writing this*
*Forgot to mention that Herbert at this stage only had enough for his train ticket home, the boys keep him well covered.
I hadnt heard much about HGF cakes, I buy 2.....you know just to make sure they work......
13:30 PM Back at HSB AGAIN....... doesnt really bother me If im honest ive got my gear sorted, love the music in here anyways, so im a happy man.
The cakes I bought were hazelnut, fired the first into my gub, yum!! toked and waited........... Not to bad, definatley very chilled but I dunno if it was all the other spliffs and bongs that were being passed around.
14:30 PM
Few of the lads wanna head round to the Smoking Bull, not really up for it, so me El Cheeko, Herbert and the Bullet go for a wee dander, we end up chillling outside the Hemp Museum in the sun.
Share my cake with Herbert and he skins up a wee spliff of something. We get talking and they ask about 420 cafe that I had obsessivly talked about back home.
15:00PM
We hit the 420 within minutes, pull up a stool at one of the high tables that run up the right hand side of the shop.Bought everyone a drink, 6 euro, thats what I like to hear, mates shit them when I tell them.
So we proceed to smoke our faces off, the Bullet is constantly rolling Super Silver Haze spliffs, then El Cheeko rolls and super tasty Kandy Kush spliff *OG KUSH X TRAINWRECK*
Now at this stage the convo swings to the Kandy Kush, "WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO CROSS TO OF THE MOST MONGING STRAINS ID EVER SMOKED"
The other half of space cake must have kicked in because I was completley monged, like seriously monged, looked up at El Cheeko and he says
"Lad seriously, I can`t remember the last time I actually felt 'Normal"
After this statement, things kind of went quiet..... the four of us were completly pie eyed. Inside I was struggling to keep myself togather, seriously, I was holding onto my brain with my finger nails.
12 Lads travelled here and not one person had a whitey, I was so close to becoming the first. After I had pulled my balls out of my purse I was sweet to continue.
Mates really enjoyed this spot*
Tunes really helped my to calm down in here :
17 :00 PM
Getting close to hometime now, needed to get round and meet with the rest of the lads. Met up in the Smoking Bull where the lads had gained a few extra members in the group. 3 lads from Birmingham back in the UK, now these lads looked like something from Mad Max, all tattoed and pierced up. One had his full face inked. Really nice guys had a few games of pool and toked a few spliffs with them.
18:15PM
Needed a munch, they all headed towards grabbing some shitty, stale pizza slices costing near 5 euros a slice, I begged them to follow me, hitting up the Burger Bar for one last time.....Philly Steak,Blue Cheese, Onions. They did follow me and yes they munched there face of...and to my disbelief one of them says to me "You kept this place quiet" really???
19 :30 PM
Collect the bags from the Old Quarter, hit Centraal Station, aimlessly roam wasted around for 30 mins not being able to find the right platform...onto Schipol Airport.
Through customs without a problem..........although I have to say that as im being frisked by the security and walk off I hear in dutch
"blah, blah, Coffeeshops, blah, blah, blah" then some laughing
21:00 PM
Most chilled out flight home ever, through customs, back home in Belfast
Paradise eh????
Get home to the Fiance, "Your back alive then???"
Back to the Bucket of low grade polm..........
So glad everything went smootly.......... No one Died* No one Arrested* No Fights*
13.2 G Weed Purchased
300000000 Units Of Alcohol Drank
*More than likely the lads will never read this but if they ever do, I just wish to thank them for one seriously fucked up weekend, and lets not forget im the first one out of us to get married, your STAGS are still to come around and when they do I will be making sure you get done worse than me ten fold..............
Oh forgot to mention, if the Dutch Tourist board would like to use this as an advertisement ...work away
