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First off, major fuck up this time, left my camera at home leaving me only armed with a shitty camera phone, that didn`t do any kind of service to the products themselves, so none where taken....plus I got too stoned to go all Private Detective Agent Columbo this trip.
Anyways, me and the wife(who doesn’t toke) arise nice and early Monday morning to get the last of our shite together before heading out of Hernia-City. Cup of proper Tea 3 sugars and a bucket of Kiff crystals and I`m ready to get out of here.
Airport, traditional Burger King to line the stomachs and empty the sterling out of my pocket. Pint of Magners cider while I sit in airport bar twiching to get going, wife play some weird Japanese numbers game on her phone.
Nothing more to say here apart from, guys with earmuffs, Dutchies single handly smuggling thousands of bags of Tayto Cheese and Onion crisps through international borders...
Arrive, step off plane, give everyone that is waiting to go back home a big stupid grin and do a jolly wee dander straight into arrivals. Making sure to get onto that flat escalator thing, *Makes ye walk like the T1000 from Terminator 2*
Train tickets, 3 stops, Centraal.
Right finally here, down the Damrak, Beurstraat, there .Oh aye, you know it’s a quality city when checking into your hotel and the receptionist says “ The hotel is no-smoking…but if you need to smoke just hang out the window…”
Hotel bar terrace Corona and a WKD sitting in the sun. Still hasn’t really sunk in that were here...until some fella danders down the street with a Two-Skinner hanging from his gub. We`re here





Throw bags into room. While the wife gets ready I run up the Warmoestraat to Voyagers passing the Queens Head pub. It was warm and it’s the start of Gay Pride week….so everyone’s looking Fabulous, And Feeling Fabulous
Enter Voyagers grab some SLBH, Amnesia and Starbud.The Starbud was nice, more of a refined smell of this, kinda sour in taste . A nice get shit done sort of high, didn`t kick my face in.
Sorted we out around to Baba pick up a cheap grinder, pipe and skins. Head across the Damrak past De Kuil, Bettys arrive at Utopia. Take up the seats outside, then I go inside and pick up some Caramello, sticky and nice taste in a pipe. Also asked to see the Citral, which turned out to be my favorite weed of the trip. Dripping with resin and a knockout stink. I must mention the service here, top quality.






Traditional Boob Grab photo

The weather wasn’t good for rolling conditions, was abit windy, so jumped inside said hello to Stan and Colino. Rolled up a couple of spliffs of Starbud and Citral for outside before chilling out on the terrace drinking chocomel with the wife,people watching, talking about all sorts of mad shite, including a conversation about Chevy Chase that seemed to have lasted a good 45 mins
Ready for a munch, we decide to slip into the Italian restaurant next door and share a Salami pizza with chips, was tasty enough. The owner of this place must be making a fortune with stoned idiots like me crawling in from Utopia. Right fed & watered we head round towards the hotel to grab a beer and a WKD. I go to the room, blast a couple of pipes and roll a spliff back down. Just chilled here for a while, until some drunk wankstain starts trying to stir shit for no reason. We finished our drinks went for a packet for smokes, dandered round towards Nes had a pint here. Got back to the hotel munched two packets of Tayto C&O. Hash Pipes and Spliffs knocked me out.


Day One End

Very nice write up! Cool pictures!

Quality day there. Next please

Enjoyed that... Thanks!

...Hope there's more!

Nice report. Which hotel were you in? Always on the lookout for tolerant ones – so long as they're clean and things work, the freedom to have an early morning and late night pipe trumps most other hotel features for me.

Fabulous start . Looking forward to hearing about the rest of your trip!

Great start Rusty

Smith2 wrote:Nice report. Which hotel were you in? Always on the lookout for tolerant ones – so long as they're clean and things work, the freedom to have an early morning and late night pipe trumps most other hotel features for me.

The Frisco Inn mate, its a quality wee spot. Modern and clean.

Cheers everyone

Day Two Start
We sleep in until around 10 am, not having any immediate plans we chill for half hour and decide to start of my day with a spliff of Citral. Good times. Waking up in Amsterdam has a whole different feel to it rather than waking up in my home city. It’s not shite.
Showered and suitably chilled we head out to find an early lunch. So we set off West, across the Herenstraat, up the Prinsengracht to the Noordemarkt. Sit outside on the patio of the brown type café beside the antique shop and have a coffee and tea.The winds was playing havoc with the seeds in the trees overhead, I was stoned, kept thinking pigeons where letting off their first of the day on me. Finish up and take a short leap into Winkel43 on the same row of shops. This was a great spot, it was rammed with locals, but we still managed to get a seat outside. I had a well tasty bacon and cheese omelette, while she had a club sandwich. Best breaky of the trip.




Right ready to go again, I wanted to check out Paradox this time around. Agreed that’s the location, I had managed to convince her….and myself that I could get us there no problems…..Didnt exactly turn out that way, we must have spent a good hour dandering about, in the end my stoned charm was wearing thin and I could sense the “wife eyes” could soon be making an appearance (Lads or Ladies…You Know That Look)





Mission abandoned we head for Dam Square for abit of shopping, get a few bits for back home and go yonder. Head towards the Greenhouse on the Oudezijds Voorburgwal, pick up some King Hassan. Wasn’t bad smoke, a floral moroccan, real light sandy colour. There weren’t any seats outside, so we dander up towards the Nieumarkt. We stopped at the stall selling all the woven stuff, all well made. She wanted something from it but we didn’t have the cash on us, so the wife chills with a milkshake at HSBs while I run round to the hotel. Well I’m here….may as well take advantage few pipes of King Hassan/Starbud fly back down the stairs, back round. It was lashing it down got drenched, so chilled for an hour, rolled a spliff.While I was away the wife checked her kindle, turned out we had walked past Paradox twice….





There’s a break it the rain and we get moving, on the Spuistraat now…Anyday it is. Fanta, Coke, Malana Cream, Terrace, Prostitutes. Timed a lad that went in, 8 mins,50 euro….lol



Oh aye the purchase, was probably my least favorite purchase, didn’t have any effect on me. Wouldn’t put me of going back have had good stuff from here before, plus the terrace seats are well quality to sit and people watch. Seen Colonel Sanders smacked out twin brother running about around here. Rain cut our stay short, plus where planning on going for a proper munch tonight. So back round to the hotel chill for an hour get showered changed, buy an umbrella. Pre meal toke while trawling restaurant websites near killed me, so we decided quickly on Toscana Italian restaurant on the Haarlemmerstraat. Called in here, sat at the bar, had a drink for around 15 minutes then got seated beside the window which looks onto the courtyard. She ordered Avocada salad with shrimp to start then Lasagne made with various meats, salami, ham, with fresh bread. I order Bruchetta and a Calzone. There portions are huge and fresh. I went on a full on proper munch attack, waitress near lost an arm.

Ok now before I continue I’m not really a man for cocktails, but seeing as my wife puts up with me its only right the favour is returned. So we head out of the restaurant continue up the Haarlemmerstraat towards Vesper Bar on the Vinkenstraat. Cheers for the recommendation on this spot Balou. Full proper swish place, lad with dicky bow on and that. You get served cucumber water to start then you get a menu. She got him just to make one up for her,it was like a gin based drink.



I chose the Zombie…. After hearing that they use 5 different types of rum in making it….



Its not a place to down drinks, and if you did you wouldn’t last long.… It’s around 10:30 pm now, we finish up and head back toward Centraal. I was busting for a toke, and we still fancied having a pint , so we head to Café Batavia after hearing good things. It’s a quality spot, and tunes. What commenced from here was a binge basically; we managed to sneak the window seat at the back looking onto Voyagers.



Hash pipes, spliffs,,beer, games of 21`s and Jack Change It, Amsterdam…What more do you want on a Tuesday night??? Ill tell you what, the moment you realise there’s a massive rat sitting staring at you on the window sill then you jump up in a stoned drunken mess, dancing about like a proper eijet.
Around half 12 we, I say we, I mean I fancy a munch, we head down the Warmoestraat, and come across the Metropoltian Deli, Amazing, I hadn’t seen this place before, but for it being so centralised its quality shit. I go for a waffle with Nutela and she goes for the Cheesecake, throw in some truffles as well. From here we head back to the hotel, within minutes wife is out cold, slowly followed by me in a cloud of waffle/hash madness.

Day Two End

colino and treetop where looking for u

gapie wrote:colino and treetop where looking for u

Aye apologises ....Things very rarely go as planned on Dutch soil. I got stoned and rooted to a seat in the shade

Awesome couple of installments, lovely read.

Excellent read, looking fwd to day 3!!

Some pics are really cool, even with a camera phone.that massive rat thing was fun

Nice first two days man, keep it coming.... yeah Toscana is a decent little place - cheap too.
I'm not a cocktail man either but Ive recently enjoyed a few raspberry mules/passion fruit mojitos with a couple spliffs - great combo

enjoying your report, thanks and keep up the good work