JOKES.

spidergawd · Post by **spidergawd** » Sat 31st Oct 2009 09:31 pm

You know you're getting old,,,when you are watching a porn movie and you're thinking how comfy the bed looks.

Pauli Wallnuts · Post by **Pauli Wallnuts** » Tue 1st Dec 2009 12:25 am

Trad · Post by **Trad** » Thu 10th Dec 2009 04:33 am

I just read that Playboy is coming out with a new magazine targeted for married men.
Apparently it will be cheaper to produce as they will have the same center-fold model month, after month, after month,........

gixxer · Post by **gixxer** » Thu 10th Dec 2009 09:53 am

a bit sick this 1
whats 12 inches long, stiff and makes a woman scream
first thing in the morning,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

a cot death baby

jollylittlehun · Post by **jollylittlehun** » Thu 10th Dec 2009 01:05 pm

What have a dwarf and a midget got in common?... Very little

Trad · Post by **Trad** » Thu 10th Dec 2009 01:50 pm

What do Dale Earnhart and Pink Floyd have in common?

For both, their last big hit was the wall.

Boner · Post by **Boner** » Thu 10th Dec 2009 01:59 pm

I was just reading about a dwarf that got pick-pocketed, how could anyone stoop so low?

Dobern · Post by **Dobern** » Sat 12th Dec 2009 06:59 pm

Apparently EA Sports are teaming up with the brains behind Grand Theft Auto for the next Tiger Woods game.

Mission 1: Get the escalade outta the drive before the bitch beats your ass!

Sir Niall of Essex-sire · Sat 12th Dec 2009 07:07 pm

Trad wrote:What do Dale Earnhart and Pink Floyd have in common?

For both, their last big hit was the wall.

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's head as she died?

Her arse.

Puffin13 · Post by **Puffin13** » Sun 13th Dec 2009 05:56 am

Trad wrote:I just read that Playboy is coming out with a new magazine targeted for married men.
Apparently it will be cheaper to produce as they will have the same center-fold model month, after month, after month,........

I've been telling this one to my friends and all of them have been roaring with laughter.

Thanks Trad!

echc1 · Post by **echc1** » Sun 13th Dec 2009 06:35 am

i'll burn in hades for this...no reprisals please...no offences meant.......how do you make a dead baby float?......2 scoops of ice-cream,2 scoops of dead baby..."and for aimal lovers......remember a dog's not just for christmas....with soup you should get another 2 days out of it.........................apologies...peace

spidergawd · Post by **spidergawd** » Sun 13th Dec 2009 10:20 am

remember a dog's not just for christmas....with soup you should get another 2 days out of it.........................

Thats it, thats my Christmas joke.

Cheers

Sir Niall of Essex-sire · Sun 13th Dec 2009 11:56 am

echc1 wrote:i'll burn in hades for this...no reprisals please...no offences meant.......how do you make a dead baby float?......2 scoops of ice-cream,2 scoops of dead baby..."and for aimal lovers......remember a dog's not just for christmas....with soup you should get another 2 days out of it.........................apologies...peace

Dead Baby jokes.

Please be warned these are sick, but, i dont kill babies etc so dont get too offended.... its only a joke.

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies?

I havent got a Porsche in my garage?

How long does it take to kill a baby in a microwave?

Dunno, i was too busy masturbating.

Whats more fun that stapling babies to a fench?

Ripping them back off again.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Deppens how hard you throw them.

How do you get 100 babies in a bucket?

With a blender,

How do you get them back out again

With a Dorrito

Kingdoc · Post by **Kingdoc** » Sun 13th Dec 2009 05:45 pm

Ive got a real good joke,

When bankers & politicians play god with peoples lives during the good times but when all the money is spent (wasted in many cases) they are lightning quick to blame others,& yet these same people shamelessly suck up to drug lords & russian oligarks for yet more money but only after they have rung out the taxpayers 1st,It makes me laugh cos they wouldnt piss on the lot of us if we were on fire! & the irony is its there polices that have got us in this mess! ie ban everything & gamble all we have,& then they have to suck up (cap in hand) to the very people they have wasted yet more of our billions trying to stop? lol like i said if they legalised an industry 2nd only to oil they wouldnt have to suck up anyones ass,Over & out.

Sir Niall of Essex-sire · Sun 13th Dec 2009 06:00 pm

Kingdoc wrote:Ive got a real good joke,

When bankers & politicians play god with peoples lives during the good times but when all the money is spent (wasted in many cases) they are lightning quick to blame others,& yet these same people shamelessly suck up to drug lords & russian oligarks for yet more money but only after they have rung out the taxpayers 1st,It makes me laugh cos they wouldnt piss on the lot of us if we were on fire! & the irony is its there polices that have got us in this mess! ie ban everything & gamble all we have,& then they have to suck up (cap in hand) to the very people they have wasted yet more of our billions trying to stop? lol like i said if they legalised an industry 2nd only to oil they wouldnt have to suck up anyones ass,Over & out.

IMO

lacks a snappy punchline