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Well, I've recovered somewhat from the stresses of going on holiday yet again! I know... the whole point of a break away somewhere is to (hopefully) DE-stress, but these things rarely go to plan...

I had everything prepared to go - my bag was packed, my £'s turned to €'s, my passport and travel insurance, phone and charger (with little bluetooth GPS thingy) all tucked away nice and safe... and after checking in online for the very first time and getting a window seat on the second row! (Nice!) I thought, right - all I gotta do is get there!

So.... here we are on the first day.

I've had a quick check of the weather forecast(s) both sides of the sea, and looked on the airport's websites to see if there are any problems reported - nothing. I decided to forego breakfast as I was due to meet up with my mate for an all-you-can-eat chinese buffet at midday, before catching the bus to the airport, and so spent the morning sorting everything else out, then relaxed with what was going to be my last toke before the 'Dam. I caught the bus into town and stood around outside the buffet waiting for my mate to show up. Half an hour later and with no reply to my calls I finally got a text saying he couldn't make it, but have a good time!

Now it was here I made my first mistake;

I should have gone inside and filled my belly with all the heart-attack inducing food I could stuff down my throat - on my own... But no, I thought, by the time I get to Amsterdam I'll have built up a fair appetite anyway, and if I don't waste more time here I can be sure of getting to the flight in time.

So off I trod, back to the bus-stop and on to the airport. I breezed through to the BMIBaby desk and showed them the printout of my boarding card to see if it was all-right (my printer wouldn't print all the colours properly, so I did it in black and white!) The lady said it was fine and I toddled off to the security gates. No problems there and I ended up in the departure lounge with about an hour and a half to kill and a growing rumble in my stomach.

Eventually, the time came to board the flight, and the buses came to ferry us across the airfield to our stand. There was a young woman on the bus with a young child, a rucksack and two (heavy) carry-on cases, obviously struggling under the load, so I helped her onto the plane with her belongings and settled down in my seat after struggling back through all the people to get to my seat at the front of the plane. Ouch, I thought as I sat down, I think I overdid it with those bags - my back's not getting any younger!!

Anyhow, I thought, I'll be getting my medicine in about an hour and a bit!

The plane was due to leave at 15.10, and taxied off to the runway well on time... Then the plane stopped and the pilot came on the intercom, telling us that a warning light had come on on one of the engines, so they were calling an engineer to come and have a look. 40 minutes passed while they fiddled and probed, then the captain tells us over the intercom that they're taxiing back to the stand to sort it out. "If all else fails, we can put you on another plane..."

Back in the departure lounge, I thought about that chinese...

Eventually, after what seemed an age, the flight was reposted on the boards and we trotted back to the gate, back on the buses, and back to the plane... and yes, I helped the young woman again as it seemed no-one else wanted to lift a finger. My back really seemed unhappy with this behaviour when I sat down, but again, I dismissed the pain as best I could and thought dreamily of those beautiful canals, the clouds of ganja rolling around my soon-to-be-baked head....

We taxied. We'd reached the runway this time. Nothing could stop us!

The engines powered up, the plane shook as it started to roll... all around the cabin, the smiles of happy people... Then both engines throttled down and we came to a stop.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain again - I'm really not happy with this engine, folks, so we're going to taxi back to the stand and swap you over to another plane. There's one due in from Rome landing at about 18.10..."

This time they wouldn't even let us back into the departure lounge, where we could have at least found some solace at the Burger King - instead we waited in the gate area, until eventually the buses arrived yet again to ferry us across to our new chariot. Needless to say, I wasn't going to abandon the poor woman with the baggage this time either, so eventually I sat down in my seat, and fastened my seatbelt for the last time.

After getting onto the runway this time, we did not want to leave by any means other than flight. A round of applause went up as the plane tilted back and took to the air!

I checked my watch - I should have been sat in De Kuil by now - roasting what little brain-cells I had left, but no...

I had managed to successfully coax a marsbar out of the only vending machine at the gate during the wait, but I was getting seriously peckish by now - I forked out for a bacon baguette at £3.50 and washed it down with the free soft drink the airline had given everyone by way of apology...

Anyway, the rest of the first day went pretty smooth after all that! The plane touched down fine at Schipol, and without a glance backwards, I was off as fast as my poor back would let me go! I got through passport control and customs with barely a second look, whizzed through the baggage hall and out to the station. I was a man on a mission.

Ticket in hand I rushed down to the platform and straight onto the train for Centraal. I don't recall any stops this time round, so about 20 mins later I was coming out of the station and heading for my hotel, a quick 10 minute walk away. I looked at my watch when I checked in to my room - 10.30pm. I've missed a lot of smoking time! 4 hours, by my reckoning... Quick shower, changed and I'm heading for De Kuil, and my first Super Silver Haze of the trip.

I was greeted by the lovely girl behind the counter and we had a little chat while I got my drink and my SSH - oh, it was good to be back!

My fumbling fingers managed to roll a big pure SSH spliff (I only smoke neat) and as I let the plume of sweet hazey smoke escape, I allowed myself a smile. Home again!

Sorry to hear about the delay but at least you got there. Enjoyed reading it. Cant wait for the next installment.

Nice report so far....would have been papping myself on the plane though!!!

Whew man, you had built up quite a bit of tension in your story there. Didn't think you were gonna make it. Sounds like an excellent first joint, but you got 4 hours to make up.

Wow! I really ramble on when I'm writing up reports stoned!!!

Sorry folks - for those still with us, I'll try and keep it briefer!!

After leaving De Kuil at around 11.45pm, I strolled back to the hotel and crashed... I slept quite badly the first night, due to my back pains, but roused myself at 7.30am to go down for breakfast.

Nothing spectacular, but it did the job. There was a bowl full of boiled eggs, cereals, bread, croissants, hams and cheeses with a good wallop of OJ to wash it down (not all for me, I hasten to add!)

After I'd satisfied my hunger, I sorted myself out, and headed once again for De Kuil... out of habit, I always head here first and last in all my trips over - and I can't complain about either the service or the quality of the weed. I'd had a gram of the SSH last night followed by a gram of the Shiva, both very nice, so I set about working my way through the rest of the weed menu that morning!

A gram of Neville's Haze was followed up by a gram of the NYCD - smelled as tasty as ever and kept me occupied until around 11am when Kroikey and his mate Dougie showed up. We were all a little early for the 2pm meet & greet, but we did a fine job of sampling while we were waiting! All three of us decided that food was necessary so we agreed to meet up back at De Kuil for 2pm.

I strolled around to the Lemongrass Wok on the corner of Oudebrugsteeg and Damrak and had the €7.50 noodles with chicken and sweet&sour sauce - yum! With those essential fuels topped up, I headed for Gray Area to see what was on offer. A gram of Vortex and a gram of Recon later, I was headed back for De Kuil.

After maybe half an hour the first of the official "meet&greeters" arrived - Gapie (pronounced "happy", I think?) - and was told by the gaffer I think it might have been, that he had to buy something if he was going to stay there. I don't think this went down too well with the rather hyper gapie, but he purchased some White Widow, and I sat down with some more of the SSH while he cooled off a bit. I bought a couple of drinks for us and then Kroikey and Dougie returned.

I found out why Dougie looked so wiped out when they told me what they'd consumed since their arrival - fair play to ya, gents! Then Dougie produced bag after bag after bag of green and announced that they've got to get through all this before the flight tonight. What time? 10pm - no problemo!

I made up a big Vortex pure with a central core of the crystals Dougie had bought from GA and passed it around until gapie was nodding away, looking at everyone through the little red slits that used to be his eyes! It was the quietest I'd seen him!!!

We were waiting for skilth/karlos and his party from Wales to arrive, but after several hours had passed, we realised that things had gone awry for the boyos, and that they were probably caned in some coffeeshop somewhere! Hope you had a good first trip guys! We'll catch up next time!

Eventually, we all staggered to our feet and headed off - me to my hotel for a power-nap and the rest of the guys, well - Kroikey & Dougie had another couple of stops I think before mooching off back to the airport and I don't know where gapie was heading (after all that weed and crystals, I don't think he knew where he was heading!)

Good to meet y'all anyway, guys!

I woke up rather later than I'd planned that evening in the hotel, and freshened up before venturing out into the night once more...

Firstly, a stop-off at De Kuil for some more of that SSH! I killed about an hour in here, before taking a stroll around the RLD on my way back to the hotel Vijaya and found myself in the Old Church.

I'd walked past here many, many times before, but had never been in.

It was relatively quiet in here, and as soon as I approached the counter area the blonde girl asked me me what I'd like to smoke, pointing out that people are NOT allowed to bring their own weed in and smoke it there, and the same applies to drinks. This wasn't an issue for me as I always buy in every coffeeshop I visit, but it was a little "in your face", and I know some friends of mine who would have probably turned around and walked right back out.

I simply smiled, ordered the White Widow, which was I think 1.7g for €14, and sat down with a 500ml bottle of pepsi-max for €3. The weed was pre-bagged, but looked ok and smoked just fine! The music was good, and I enjoyed the smoke and the general vibe of the place, despite there being so few people there, so I spent about an hour there and eventually crawled back to my hotel room...

Day three to come...

Thanks for the kind words folks!

Geoff - I didn't think I was gonna make it either!!! I had visions of sitting in the airport, watching plane after plane leave...

To be fair though, I've only ever experienced delays like that once before, and that was due to weather coming back from Amsterdam...

Anyway, Day3.

This was Wednesday I think.

After brekky at the hotel, I went straight for... yes! you guessed it! De Kuil.

A new set of faces met me there this morning, but they soon got to know me! SSH, was followed by Blueberry €8 and a gram of their Parvati Creme €13 - nice and soft and sticky... mmm....

I spent a while chatting with the budtender, Steve, who it turns out knows some guys I know back home, through a band he used to play with - small world! Soon after, I met up with another ACDer, matty, and we had a good session in my favourite haunt! Nice to meet you fella!

Eventually I headed over to Amnesia for a while - as I didn't want to spend ALL my time in De Kuil! I tried the Pineapple Haze €13 this time around and watched the world blur past for a while, listening to the tunes and laughing at anything that came to my now twisted mind - I got chatting to an old couple who were there from the Bahamas but were Canadians originally - you gotta love Canadians! I told them of my visit to Vancouver years ago and we had a great time. I've never yet met an unpleasant Canadian!

After a while, I made a move again and headed back to De Kuil to finish up for the night - I was utterly mashed and really needed a good nights sleep before the last day if I was going to finish all I had left!!!


Last day to come...

You had me white-knuckling with that flight description.

But your bag of White Widow at Old Church (and this G13 Haze dangling from my lips) snapped me out of it.

Keep 'em coming. And it isn't rambling, just detailed writing. We're staying with you.

Cool man, thanks for taking the time.

crikey o blimey I would have been filling my trousers about the plane situation, im a bit of a wuss when it comes to flying and that would have done me in, your obviously made of sterner stuff as you didnt mention being in the least bit worried, just concerned about being late, fair play!

And its impossible to ramble in trip reports, the longer the better for me, keep em comin man, very enjoyable!!

matt

Thanks courtjester!

Here we go... the last day. Day 4.

I awoke to the sound of bells... no, not fire alarms, but the usual morning chorus from the church bells that dominate Amsterdam's morning soundtrack... It was 7am. I rolled over. Hmmm - my back's stopped hurting - now when did that happen??? Must be the weed...

I went back to sleep as I had already made my mind up that the extra time in bed was better than going down for breakfast so early - I may very well try out the apartments next time - there's nothing like getting up when you feel like it!

I sorted all my stuff out, as the hotel doesn't have bag storage, and checked out. The morning sun was quite hard on my eyes until I got to the shelter of the Old Church again. Having already tried the White Widow, the night before, I wanted to try something new, and for some reason, nothing was leaping out at me so I settled for the Old Church Special, same deal as the WW at €14. Not a bad smoke, nice and smooth but without much of a hit... it was getting a bit chilly in there - the doors were open and the wind had picked up quite a bit, so after I finished my smoke, I headed for some food and then De Kuil to try and demolish whatever I had left in my weed pocket!

In addition to the stuff I still had left over from the last couple of days, I bought another gram of the SSH, a gram of the WW and another gram of the NYCD to see me thru! This happy little mix left me pretty worse for wear, but I managed somehow to work my way through all but one of the bags, giving the rest to a group that had just arrived by the look of the bags etc.

A happy smile on my face, I braved the wind and headed for the station.

Two hot sausage rolls later and I was on the train - this is always the saddest part of my trips, but at least I made it here in one piece, and I still had a few €s left!

The only thing of note on the return trip was the sideways landing ( ) on arrival in the UK - the wind had reached quite interesting speeds and there were a few terrified faces when the plane came in, bouncing up and down and sliding to the left and right on approach! This was almost as much fun as the rollercoaster rides at Alton Towers- helped no doubt by the chunk of hash I'd eaten just before going through security at Schipol, which was now kicking in nicely!!

Uneventful is the best word I'd use to describe the return journey - and that's how I like it. I get my excitement in Amsterdam, not (hopefully) getting to and from this place of wonder!

And with this, I shall leave you for now... Food is calling, and another spliff needs to be burned!

See ya'll next time!

Nice reports m8 i just read them all,as everyone else has posted i was sitting at the edge of my seat half way thru ur first post thinking oh no its gone FUBAR but thankfully i was proved wrong

As for the rest of ur report abfab m8(christ u get thru some weed)and thanks for taking the time

Thanks everyone for stopping by...

Bigbuds - I've flown a lot of times now, and not just the short flights to and from Amsterdam, so most things don't phase me anymore... So long as I reach my final destination, it's all good!

Toker70 - I think from my very rough notes and the memories writing all this down brought back, I probably saw my way through about 20g, all-in.
Every time I walked through the saloon doors at De Kuil I bought at least 1g! And that was with plenty still in my pocket...

Maybe it's my old-fashioned views on supporting local business, or perhaps I just don't feel comfortable enjoying the facilities of an establishment without contributing to its upkeep - I had this same argument with a mate once when he asked me why I ALWAYS buy a bag wherever I go, and I just told him - "Would you go out to a pub or club with a bottle of booze in your pocket and openly drink it there? Well then. Or go to a restaurant with a pizza you've bought elsewhere and expect them to provide you with a plate and knife and fork?" It's not just the product you're buying, it's the service and use of their building you pay for as well, from the staffs' wages to the electric that powers the music you listen to...

Whoops... I've gone from rambling to ranting now!

<Boing!> Zebedee says it's time for bed...

Nice report DaveS, It was good to meet you and we probably should have gave you a tap on the shoulder when I thought it was you the night before. However we were wasted so you wouldn't have got much conversation out of us.

Gapie, you were absolutely true to your word. Hyper but cool. I have to admit I was a little paranoid about meeting someone local, in case you had a few friends waiting to rob the tourists. But that was just my cautious side kicking in. Me being stoned and you talking with your hands did nothing for my confidence, but you're a good guy.

Talking about Gapie being stoned. I was in orbit! lol. It was all I could do not to laugh at the American tourist who came in, bought a prerolled, smoked half then complained it was too strong and left it with the budtender. His facial expressions while he smoked his first joint were the funniest I could have come up with:

Quick toke - look at joint - raise eyebrows - look at budtender - look at joint - repeat.

I hope we can all meet up for another smoke one day, its a shame they dont serve alcohol anymore, because meet and greets without it can be daunting (probably why so many dont show).

DaveS wrote:Gapie, you were absolutely true to your word. Hyper but cool. I have to admit I was a little paranoid about meeting someone local, in case you had a few friends waiting to rob the tourists. But that was just my cautious side kicking in. Me being stoned and you talking with your hands did nothing for my confidence, but you're a good guy.

Talking about Gapie being stoned. I was in orbit! lol.
I hope we can all meet up for another smoke one day, its a shame they dont serve alcohol anymore, because meet and greets without it can be daunting (probably why so many dont show).

yo Daves and kroikey how life over there
yeh sorry that i am hyper "thats ME" ok i talk sometimes a lot with my hands and my mouth i use my hands becoz i am always movemently
i can't sit quiet sorry about that
But u can trust me i am not a dodgy asshole orso or freaky local
okay i am a bit freaky but not crazy to rob people
trust me i am not like that i am more a smoker and getting high all the time

and DaveS i was so stoned after so many joints that i was quiet at least lol but that is da weed better then medicine for hyper shit

DaveS wrote:Kroikey & Dougie had another couple of stops I think before mooching off back to the airport and I don't know where gapie was heading (after all that weed and crystals, I don't think he knew

i was going home after that meeting what else can i do strolling in the city but that is boring i know the city in my head but cyas all hope to see ya another time orso