Day4
Our last full day and night in the motherland so we’ve got to make it a good one. Woke up around 11ish, spliff of LA Con and I’m glued to the sofa watching crap cable and eating cereals until around 1pm. By this point it’s only Chris and me up, the other two are still asleep from the night before so we decide to get some more weed
we go for an afternoon stroll soaking up the Amsterdam culture; canals, buildings, bikes and red lights. Hunger had kicked in again so we go for lunch in a ‘Steakhouse’, 15e for a steak and chips; it was shit to be honest. Not a proper steak but more of a slab of toughish beef with a pint of watered down coke. I though Chris had ordered a lemon Fanta as it was grey and looked like lemon Fanta, it was in fact orange Fanta…WTF, it was so watered down it was no longer orange. One thing about Amsterdam that is an inconsistency is the food, we’d tried Wok to Walk late one night and it was spot on but today’s meal was crap, I guess you just get to know the few places that are cool. Food sorted, outcomes my trusty ACD map which is now ripped, torn and faded and I navigate us towards one of the sights I am most looking forward to, Grey Area At this point its pissing down and we duck under a shop canapé for cover, pull out the map again, “I’m sure we are on top of it”, we are, it’s the literally the shop next door which we almost walk straight past. So finally we are at GA and there’s a queue right up to the door, I eventually get to the counter and the names on the menu are singing and dancing at me “buy me, buy me”….“smoke me, I’m da shit” hmmmm what to choose. I was tempted to compare weeds with Greenplace but really wanted to try something I hadn’t tried before, after a couple of questions with the long haired American budguy I am still undecided so go for 1grm Chocolope @ 12.50e and 1grm Obamas Haze (Hawaiian Haze x Bubblegum @ 12e?). The shop is rammed and is the size of the cupboard under my stairs so we leave to try my purchases elsewhere. We walk towards Centrum and the weather is getting worse by the minute so we dive into the Old Church. We order a coffee each, Chris gets a mixed pre-rolled of Thai and we grab a table by the bottom of the stairs next to the bud counter. I roll up some Obamas Haze and wow, this was some tasty shit, a smoother smoke than the Blueberry Cheese id fell in love with the day before but just as tasty in its own way and it was getting me HIGH, I really liked this smoke and it was one I’d definitely look for in the future. After finishing our mixed spliffs and coffees, and a quick phone call to the others, we notice the yellow signs on each table; no mixed spliffs, no weed from other shops, no mobiles, oops we’d basically broke all the rules right in front of the counter…ah well, they mustn’t care that much. This sort of summed up my experience with the tobacco ban, I hadn’t deliberately tried to smoke mixed spliffs in non tobacco areas, I just did without thinking and didn’t have any problems whatsoever, just keep the ciggie pack of the table and you’re good. Now the weather had calmed down we made a move to the apartment.
Got home and tried the Chocolope, not as chocolaty as I was expecting, in fact I struggled to taste the chocolate to be honest but never the less, I LIKE
followed on from the Obamas Haze, I was high as a muthaphuka. This strain was nice and fruity and tasty and got me giggly which I hadn’t really been since the first night with the NYC diesel and SSH, I was a happy bunny. The Obamas Haze and Chocolope is a wicked sativa combo, please try if possible, HIGHly recommended. Now the others are up, we’ve still got nearly two crates of beer to get through so me and Chris start working our way through them as Jon and Sam freshen up and feed themselves. Tonight was the last night and we were in the mood to get trashed
we get through one crate and I get through some of my yummy sativas then decide to go get something to eat. Someone had recalled an All-You-Can-Eat spare ribs buffet for 19e and had a craven for ribs so we go hunting for it. This is impossible, we are walking around in circles for ages asking people where the rib house is with no luck so head to KFC for something greasy to line our stomachs. It hit’s the spot and we head towards RLD for a walk. We walk past untold windows, again and again and there’s the talk of “I will if you will” and “Aww man she’d get it!!” This is starting to bore me and so we look for a smoker’s friendly bar in the RLD, Excalibur’s is the nearest place we find. We have a couple of pints and a few games of pool upstairs and I continue to smoke my yummy buds. From here you can see quite a few Red lights and the others are getting anxious about ‘doing one’. “Okay I’m ready” declares Chris, we head out past numerous windows until we get to that strip bar at the end of the dead end row of red windows. We pop in, I think its 5euros to get in, not bad I’m thinking, I look around and we are a man short, Chris has taken the opportunity to get some sexy time, lol, fair-play to him. We walk in, straight to the bar, the Barmaid is topless with a cracking pair and asks if we want a drink, I reply to her assets as if they’d asked me the question; “3 pints please” with a big grin on my face. 2 minutes later “33 euros please” WTF!!!!! 11e a pint!!! Jesus man, the big grin on my face was now history and I was handing over a 50. She even had the cheek to give me 15e back and put the 2e coin on her tit with a grin, I immediately reach for it and she spanks my hand, “don’t you want to tip me?”…I say “NO, not at 11e a pint!” so she gives me my change. So during our holiday we’ve bought 24 bottles of Heineken for 8.40e and now 1 pint for 11e….hmmm big difference there. Anyways, we proceed to the main bar where the pole dancers are, very nice may I add. After a performance one of the birds basically sits on the bar, wraps her legs around my head and asks if I want a lap dance for 10euro, Sam is cracking up at this point and says “yeah he does, ill pay for it.” So I get a lap dance, and by the way at this point, we are pissed up, and I’m loving it. This is one hell of a lap dance “can I touch?”….”touch what you like
”….i'm thinking Sweeeeeeeet…..Sam says..”you can pay for this yourself, you bastard”…Hahaha, I did with pleasure. Chris turns up at this point with a big grin on his face, and gets a round in for us all, hehehe, 44euros. He grumbles for a bit then is back to grinning like a Cheshire cat. We are having a wicked time in this strip bar and Sam and Jon end up getting a double lapdance next to each other, I turn into this perverted punter and start dictating what they should do…”Sam grab Jon’s strippers tit, Jon you grab Sam’s one” what a laugh we had. We had a great time in there but it was getting far too expensive, I ask if I can skin up on the bar and smoke outside, “yes no problem”…almost perfect, if only I could smoke it in there, anyway I’m still having a pukka time and wish it was like this in London. So spliff rolled we leave and I walk and toke whilst we are all pissed up, giggling and laughing, we really are having a great last night and so head to ‘uglystraat’ by the old church for more laughs. After this we go in some Irish pub and have a pint in there, we finish up as the bartender is mopping up and ready to close. We head back to the apartment to finish off the beers, and smoke some more ganja, Boom sativas and Heinekens, I’m gonna miss Amsterdam 
. We eventually get to bed around 3-4am and have to check out at 11am, our last night was concluded and we’d all finished with a bang, in one way or another lol.Day 5
* BANG BANG BANG * shit its 12pm, I open the door and it’s the cleaner, “you should have checked out at 11” bollocks, we all get up and ready in a huff with a hangover, it takes us 45 minutes to have a shower each, pack our bags, roll a spliff and do a quick rubbish collection from the tables which I thought was good going. We stumble down the million midget steps for the last time and head to Greenhouse Effect reception to check out. The lady is not impressed, its 1pm and she wants 50e for late checkout. There’s still 30e in the deposit envelope which she opens along with some forms we’d filled out and signed, it clearly says 50e fine for late checkout which we’d all signed without question, D’oh, we had to cough up the rest reluctantly. Ah well that extra hours sleep was needed. I smoke the last Chocolope spliff and it’s the last one of the trip, it was the perfect zoot to give me a hazy uplifting buzz as we lugged our suitcases around looking for breakfast. We head for the breakfast bar where Chris and I had breakie a couple of days before, everyone has a Royal English for 10e something and I go for two ham & cheese toasties for 4.50e. The toasties hit the spot and was the best breakfast I’d had all trip, another money saving discovery noted for next time. We head for Central Station and catch a train to the airport, Ah man I’m gonna really miss this place, this was the best Dam trip I’d ever had and I can’t wait for the next, there’s so much I haven’t done yet, haven’t smoked, haven’t seen, I’ll be back there sooner rather than later. I was left with a spliff of LA Con and a spliff of White Dolphin to take home, not exactly a smuggling operation but a nice couple of reminders. Sam still had the Zero Zero hash which he’d hardly touched, about 2grms of that and Chris still had some Jack Herrer left, about 2 spliffs worth. I gladly took their leftovers as they were gonna throw them away, threw it all in the bottom of my suitcase and proceeded to head home. The End
