Oldest and craziest memories of trips from 80s and 90s

[pilch]

Man this has got to be the most entertaining thread on the whole forum

Loving the stories guys, wish I could match this stuff or I'd post something too

[Pauli Wallnuts]

excellent story IG, the way you write makes it feel like im a fly on the wall watchin it all, ive never heard of 'festival of fools' sounds' really good

[templeball]

Man this has got to be the most entertaining thread on the whole forum

Loving the stories guys, wish I could match this stuff or I'd post something too

Im so pleased you say that, thanks to all of you so far, I suspect this will run a while longer hopefully....

Im running out of madness stories from my own murky past but still have one more (or maybe two..) to share.......

...in the very late 80's there was an IBM 'reward' work trip to Amsterdam, those that hit sales targets got to go to Dam for the wekend, a couple of colleagues were smokers, the majority were very square and most were there for a piss up and the obligatory RLD tour etc. There was one guy, who shall be called Tony in this description (Ill save the poor bugger from giving his real name), who was basically a real tosser. He was simply a bit of a prat, most of us hated him at work yet alone on a weekend bender, he was annoying, self opinionated and loud.
He was the sort of guy you see being thrown out of the RLD ladies windows at a great rate of knots, he was the sort of guy who would get us a bad name in the bars, he was a twat basically.
....It was decided on the saturday night that spiking him was a matter of necessity, it was that or throw in the canal, so eventually we got him to eat some space cake. There is a debate to be had on this forum about whether space cakes used to be made stronger or not, but lets just say they certainly werent any weaker back then. Some time passed, various bars later, and Tony was actually becoming quite entertaining for a change. The space cakes were kicking in and he was losing the plot, for once the annoying know-all was at a loss for words, and in the end we all voted to go to a sex show. ... Our group was fairly large and very drunk by now, and Tony was getting quite lewd, definately in quite a state but he seemed to be having quite a good time with it too thank god. The usual stuff was going on the stage, and it got to the audience participation bit...A volunteer was required...Picture if you can the stage, on one side to the left was a naked girl, calling out for volunteers to join her for 'free fucky fun'..Tony needed no encouragement whatsoever, so eager was he to show off, so nutted was he becoming that he didnt even think about what he was volunteering for, and to the roar of our group Tony got on the stage, whereupon his trousers were removed and a pair of adapted (sort of tied together, more stable) roller skates were put on him. Another girl came from the right to get him going, and pushed him towards the other girl on the other side of the stage, who was bent over starkers and beckoning Tony to roll across the stage towards her with her finger. ....Tony managed to stay upright (only a small stage), and just as he reached the girl with her bum in the air, she moved suddenly to the side, and previously unseen doors behind her swang open, leaving Tony the prat hurtling bollock naked on rollerskates into the street!!!!

Absolutely classic, to this day we tell the story and cry, it was the cruelest and funniest thing ive ever seen. I have no idea if this was done every show, but Ive never laughed so hard for so long. Yes, he was brought back in, and no he never did get to have any 'free fun', we had the free fun watching him roll into the street!! God bless Dam...

[Nice Dreams]

My first trip to Amsterdam was back in 1990, it was Easter time and Amsterdam was bouncing. We’d flown from Cardiff but we hadn’t booked any accommodation. We caught the train from Schipol to central, by now I was very excited my first time in Dam. When we got out of the station it was heaving, people everywhere now this being my first time I thought this was normal. But when I commented on this to my friend who had been to Amsterdam once before he said that it had been nowhere near this busy the last time he had been there.

So we notice the tourist information place opposite the station where my friend had said we could book a hotel, but there’s a hell of a queue way outside the door so we decide to pass on this and just take a wonder around and try and find somewhere our selves. This proved to be a mistake after an hour or so of getting turned away from hotels and hostels with the by now customary sorry were full don’t you now its Easter weekend.

We decided to return to the tourist information place to see if we could find somewhere. By now the queue had gone down so in we go and the only room they can offer us is a 15 to 20 minute tram ride from the station, so we take the room. We catch the tram and we find the hotel very easily, relief. Nice hotel to very nice room and very clean.
We check in dump our bags and were off, we’ve been in Dam 2 hours and we aint had a smoke yet .

On the tram ride we had noticed a coffee shop just up the road from the hotel so that’s where we headed. Can’t remember the name of it, but what I do remember of it was the aroma that hit me as we walked in through the door mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm heaven . It was a largish coffee shop looked more like a transport cafe back in the uk really lol, run by a youngish Moroccan guy. My friend asked to see the skunk, the guy showed it to him and it looked and smelt amazing, but said that he had some really top quality Moroccan hash that he recommended, so we got a gram of both don’t recall what the price was in guilders and I think it worked out to about £4 a gram bargain. Skinned up my first joint in dam with the skunk light it up and I was in heaven. We had a good chat with the bud tender who seemed a really cool guy. And he was spot on about the Hash it was the best of the trip.

But when we went back there the next day in the night we did not get such a good welcome. The place was packed with Moroccans and when we walked in it went quiet and everyone just stared at us like being in one of those village pubs in a film lol. The guy behind the bar had a brief conversation with one of the older guys and they all just carried on with whatever they were doing (must have said something about us having been in before or something). But when we went to the counter he served us but without any conversation just totally ignored anything we were saying. We sat down and made a splif, fuck the looks we were getting was nobody’s business everyone just kept glaring at us. We decide it was best to drink our coffee fast and fuck off somewhere else, we never went back there.

That first night we headed into the Centrum, my friend said he wanted to show me the sights of the RLD. Well after a wonder around the RLD (there was defiantly allot more street dealers and junkies around then) we ended up in The Waterhole or was it called The Last Waterhole? A largish bar and hostel on Zeedijk just off Warmoesstraat . We go in and it’s pretty full ( we had already tried to get a room there earlier but had been told sorry no chance) there’s a good atmosphere in there everyone seems to be in party mode, get a couple of beers and decide to get some weed. Now my friend had stayed here the last time he was in Dam and new the dealer was around the corner so of we go to get some smoke. When we go around the corner I see these 4 or 5 rather large bikers with Amsterdam hells Angels patches on their backs my friend says there the guys to score from, no problem job done.

We have a chat with one of the bikers who tells us there’s a blues band playing latter, both being lovers of blues music ( my friend being a very good blues harmonica player and ended up playing one number with the band) we decided we would stay there and watch the band. We are having a few beers and some smokes when these 2 American guys ask us if we want a game of pool, yea no problem we’ll have a game. We started playing they wanted to play for a beer each no problem, at that I was really into playing pool and played in very good team back home. The only problem was my mate was fucking useless lol and we’d been watching these two guys play for a while and they weren’t bad players in fact one of them was a very good player.

Anyway we’d had a couple of games when this group of young English lads come in about 6 or 7 of them I’d say about 18 to 20 years old it was about 8 or 9 o’clock by now, they go up to the bar order a round of beers and ask the lady (who was called Susie, I think it’s the same Susie of Susies saloon not sure though?) if she had any beds for the night. She politely told them that the place was full very sorry, now we were playing pool on the table that was on the left hand side as you came in through the door and could here all of this. Well it was plain to see these lads had had a few beers must have been walking around for most of the day trying to find somewhere to stay and been drinking as they were going.
Now most of these lads took it well but one of them seemed to be getting very pissed off, after a few minutes he started getting very loud and abusive towards Susie. Again she told him the place was full and there was nothing she could do about it, but this guy was having none of it and really started kicking off shouting and swearing, he bumped a few people by the bar.

Now this was a bad move on his part Susie must have only been just over 5’ tall but she hurdled the bar no problem at all and squared straight up to this guy and told him and his mates to get the fuck out of her pub. Now this guy stood his ground and started giving her some abuse, just then these 4 or 5 Hells Angels appeared from around the corner and walked over (now these guys were big all well over 6’ and built like brick shit houses) you should have seen the guys face change when he saw them, he went very pale and started stammering. They asked Susie if there was a problem, “no problem there just leaving” and she grabbed this guy (he was over 6’ tall and she was 5’) by his collar turned him around and marched him out of the pub kicking him repeatedly up the arse all the way out onto the street shouting at him the whole time about how not to fuck about in her pub ever again. The whole pub was in uproar everyone laughing and cheering it was funny as fuck an absolute classic.
Sorry this story is so long but I hope you enjoyed it.

[SHIVA 11]

Great stories so far i have a few more to post but dont like typing!. i will get round to it

[Ingwey Gooblebogger]

excellent story IG, the way you write makes it feel like im a fly on the wall watchin it all, ive never heard of 'festival of fools' sounds' really good

Thanks Pauli.

I am glad you enjoyed it.
I just started writing down what I recalled, ocassionally narrating out loud as I was typing. My posts got quite long (when don't they ever? ) and I was not sure if they would be boring.

In fact I have never told anyone those strories in the nearly 30 years since I had the experiences.

Over the years, upon reflection, I often wondered why the girl's husband did not use his own key. AT the time, I was not thinking logically about trivial details, but rather how the hell I was gonna get out of there ALIVE !

Given that she was so kooky, I sometimes wonder if the guy at the front door was, in actuality, the milkman and maybe this was her way to get me the hell out her house and to have a laugh at the same time. She could be telling a humerous story somewhere about the fastest way she ever got rid of a one night stand...

Oh well, I am alive to tell the story, so that's what counts.

[beejun]

i used to go to roosendaal very often about 15 years ago as it was only an hour away by train from boring brussels where i grew up. for years i used to buy my weed in relatively large quantity from a moroccan owned smartshop, in the back of the shop there was a sac full of unnamed weed or a bread of hash, i would make a spliff to try the smoke, then get between 25 up to a 100 grams with the old dutch money we all miss so much, then would go straight to the cofeeshop. for me and my mates coffeeshops were just a place to sit down and have a drink with a smoke before driving or getin' on the train back to brussels. there were loads of dodgy pssst guys who were always asking you if you needed smth. sometimes they would be on the platform waiting for all the belgians weed tourist and they were a fucking pain in the neck and often had troubles with em. when that smartshop stop selling weed we then bought smokes from azul coffeeshop wich had the best morrocan mint tea in roosendaal. happy times

[BARBIE]

My first trip to "Heaven" the Dam was back in 1998.. I was a young 18 year old with 3 other male friends. We were all pretty immature to the world and just very keen smokers and tokers and were looking forward to 4 nights in the best city in the world. Although we were immature English lads 18 years old we were and are very respectful lads, yes were young but we were brought up right and respect the fact we are not in England.

Excitment is one way of describing landing at the airport rushing threw baggage and walking outside.. Wow, thats a feeling you never forget. Wasnt to clued up on trains etc so we just jumped into a taxi straight into Central.

First stop Barneys Breakfast Bar. Now we had heard alot of good things, and we tried the breakfast and of course some local herbs, i am not to clued up on what we toked back then my memory a little vague. I know we had a couple of cannabis cup winners Super Silver Haze at Barneys i do remember though 97/98 and 99 cup winner respectively.. I wont go on about the weed and what not to much because we all know what its like over there, and have visited many coffee shops ourseleves. i do rememebr the breakfast been awesome but over priced.

Now as immature young ones we wasted out first night on Mushrooms, it wasnt that great and we spent it in our rooms wasted.

We decided day 2 was RLD day and night, we each took 200 gilders with us, (hope that was the currency) it was around £175.00 which for 18 yearm olds in 1 day in the RLD is enough per person.

RLD was a mixed bag for me, obviously i was 18 and young and naive to the world but i knew what to expect, but it didnt prepare me. We had an experience which we would rather forget when we went to the OLD Bulldog, the one with all the graffti, next to the "Windows". We sat, chilled had a smoke or 3 and just enjoyed our surroundings. We were then joined by a group of what i can only assume were Eastern Europeans. Morocon something like that. There English wasnt great and they decided they wanted to link onto us.

Now i know i was young but i certainly wasnt stupid i could see that these guys from the start were going to try and con us for some or all of our money some how, my friends at this point were oblivious to this, enjoying themselves and not seeing the situation for what it was. Everytime i made a point of leaving with my group, they would say they wished to join us, and that they would show us the sites of the RLD evry cheap very cheap. Alarm bells were starting to ring with a few of the group members, we realised we were in a bad position and needed to get out of there.

We left and decided to head for Dam Sqaure, alot busier and so it seemed safer. Well let me just make it clear, these guys werent going anywhere, they were now requesting we give them some money for them to leave. It was one of those things were if it happend in your own country you wouldnt have been concerend but you have to respect the fact your NOT.

After around 20 minutes of been followed by this group of lads i decided on a plan of action, i walked up to a bar in the RLD i catn remember the name, its not there now so it has ceased to do business, but i intended on walking up to a group of English/American looking lads, and assume friendship (pretend we were friends) to make the followers feel outnumbered. This plan failed. This led to the group of lads we joined at the bar also getting lairy with us and starting to hurl abuse our way as well. It turned out these lads were British but the wrong type of brits that go to Amsterdam., They were there to drink and shag. And it showed. 1 Frienc of mine wo i can only assume is or was an easy target recieved a punch to the face from an English chap, followed up by some serious kicks in the body and head for his trouble.

Jumping to my friends defence which was a natural instinct for me, I also recieved quite a brutal pasting, all i remember is wondering if they were going to stop. I think there was around 8 of these lads, who we assumed would aid us, ended up been the biggest pains in our arses.. A couple of street dealers (Big Black Guys) walked over and apparantly stopped the trouble , would you believe.

Now there was 4 of us, 2 of us took a beating but my other mates had legged it, big mistake. They were followed by our earlier stalkers and were forced to hand over whatever they had on them. To which they did.
Money was lost of course but worse than that passport for one chap was taken which led to one of my friends having to stay an extra 6 hours in the airport. Morol of this story was simple.. dont trust anyone.. lol. It didnt put me of my holiday me and the chap who took a hiding became real good friends after that incident, and it brought us closer.

_________________________________________

2 other memorable moments.

Last trip to the Dam was March 26 - April 3rd last year 2009.

Well unbeknown to me, Scotland were playing Holland in the World Cup Qualifier. Wow this meant the city was alive to the sound of bagpipes and the tarten army taking over everywhere. This was one of the most enjoyable times i have spent in Amsterdam. The Scots are very decent people and certainly know how to have a laugh. I also think the Dutch take to the Scots alot better than Brits or Americans.

But i just remember afetr the game had clearly happend, everyone decended on the RLD every coffee shop i walked into was FULL to the brim of druink Scots passed out on seats because they had mixed Beer and Potent weed and thought they could handle it, i have never seen so may whities happen in such a short period of time, the Budtender at Greenhouse Effect was in stitches.

This one chap had asked to borrow a house pips, it was a very large bong with an ice cooler system, this chap had clearly bought what looked to be a 5 gram stack sat down with 2 of his friends and they made a big scene of chopping this weed and packing the bong as much as they could (first timers). Well its one of those you had to be there moments. He started taking the bong hit, but it was clearly a bit much for him but didnt want to cough ( a mans worst nightmare in a coffee shop) although he hit his limit, because not only did the chap explode with a cough from hell, he was sick on the table and his 5 gram stack. To which one of his mates started laughing that much he fell of his table, knocked the table and this Bong follwed him, smashed and then seeing a poor scotsman having to hand over how ever mcuh money because he broke the pipe, then be told to clean the mess, ushered out of the building. Then the poor lad who was sick ran in to collect his weed before realising it had been chucked out because it was none smokeable.

that was a very funny moment indeed.

__________________________________________

Back in 2001 i also saw 2 American College types.. discuss whether it would be funny to take photos of all the local window ladies.. To which i advised them (been now my 3rd trip) and just been a helpful chap, that they shoukdnt do this, its disrespectful and may lead to them been ushered away with force.

These to Attractive gents must have thought they were above foreign ways.. Because they proceeded to walk down 1 stretch of windows and stick the camera right in front of the ladies. Now this was just when the Window ladies started been blonde and really attractive not your Thai Whore Bags. In around 5 seconds the chap with the camera was been shouted at, although they were both in hysterics. I gather it was there first time and they had just toked up. Well another 5 seconds later the Young American was on the floor, and his camera was also on the floor broken. I had turned my head for a second but this PIMP had KO'd this American and his camera, needless to say when you offer advice and its rejected. You can only pity them.

_____________________

I still cannot get over bikes in Amsterdam i have been 7 times now, and have never had the balls to hire one, but christ how crazy are them dudes and chicks. You have more chance of been killed by a passing cyclist than anything esle over there... Crazy place, I love it.

[Weemanio]

This is the best thread i have ever read on this forum. had me laughing throughout the four pages.

[intricatethakid]

It really is. I wish I had more memories, but I've only been once.

Surely there are many more members on this forum who have some of these great stories to share?

[Pauli Wallnuts]

Barbie, im not suprised you got beaten up by english piss heads, we do seem to own the copyright on kicking off with our own, when i was there in august it was the night before the holland v england game & there was a massive punch up outside the old sailor

we each took 200 gilders with us, (hope that was the currency) it was around £175.00 which for 18 yearm olds in 1 day in the RLD is enough per person.

it was guilder, but it was 3.5 to each GBP, so 200 guilder would have been approx £60, but things were alot cheaper then

[BARBIE]

lol, yea we dont get very patriotic with one another do we.. after a few beers that is.. Hence my preference the the greener side.

i got it wrong in terms of guilder then, was a long time ago, i took alot i remember that... it goes far too quick and it doesnt take much research to find that out lol.

[Bob2]

in amsterdam about 6 years ago in burger king at the back of a pretty long queue, was pissing it down outside and this bloke ran in jumped the stairs, slipped and bumped in the back of me. then there is a loud thud sound as hes head collided with the floor and he was out cold. the Thud noise had drawn everyone's attention and all eyes are on me and my friend, and the place was packed we just stood frozen looking at this bloke lying there a lady came over (staff there couldn't give a shit) tried talking to him, nothing she turned him over with a little shake and he snored then jumped straight up gave me this weird look for about 20 seconds and just legged it out of the place. As i turn to my mate saying what the fu_k was that about, i notice hes at a weird angle then thud my mate was now lying passed out on the floor next to me. i give a little look around everyone looking at me again im totally wasted cant really walk well and a little bit paranoid, turn my mate around sharp nudge with my foot again, nothing was worried and i have to drag him over to the stairs which must of looked hilarious, i sit him upright shake him nothing for about 2 minutes everyone's still looking at me he starts to recover and mentions he passes out if he sees blood, first bloke gashed his head. now he was talking i just want to leave him got really paranoid with everyone staring so i sat in opposite corner of shop pissing myself with laughter as he sat recovering on the stairs

[Pauli Wallnuts]

A friday the 13th (i kid you not) a few years back, i was out there with 3friends, it was about 2pm & 1of them went into kfc on damrak, me & the other 2 waited outside, the 2 i was with had done mushrooms that morning & not eaten anything fearing it would lessen the effects, anyway 1of them went in to use the toilet, when he came outside out of the blue goes 'anyone seen the chicken run' & went to do some move, & just hit the deck, his head smashed against the floor, he started doing these fits, me & my mate were freaked the f**k out, we tried to help him but didn't know what to do, people were watching but not helping, then a 'eh charlie, cocaine, my friend' guy stepped in & made him come round, he did exactly like mia does in pulp fiction, his eyes shot open & he instantly sat upright, we helped him to his feet, @this point the guy asked us if we wanted any gear (crazy), we took him into the kfc so he could wash the blood from his head, my other m8 who was inside eating saw us & freaked thinking my m8 had been stabbed or something.

same day, in the evening we were at the rockerij in leidseplein, we left & some americans were also leaving behind us, we just hear this load bang, turn back & see 1of them has just passed out & smashed his head on the floor, he was out cold, people from inside the cs quickly rushed to help him, after what had already happened that day me & my m8 who saw the other m8 collapse just wanted 2get the f**k out of there asap

UNBELIEVABLY that night at about 11 we were walking back towards leidseplein after being on a cs crawl in the centrum, we were walking down Leidsestraat when some local woman just for no reason rode her bike into something on the side of the street, guess what, out cold, couldnt believe it, will never ever forget that friday 13th

[Nice Dreams]

A friend and myself were sat outside The Last Water Hole one sunny summers evening a few years ago enjoying a smoke and a few beers with an Aussie guy and an English guy who lived in Amsterdam at the time.
we noticed this man come to the corner of the street with a black bin liner he put it down turned around and walked off, we thought nothing of it at first then a couple of minutes later he reappeared carrying another black bag and walked about 20 yards past the first one before putting it down and going back to collect the first bag and then repeated the whole thing until he got to the corner and he left it there back for the other one then he was gone.
Now this guy was very unkempt with a big bushy beard, the English guy we were talking to informed us that the guy was a tramp who lived in Dam and that is how he moved around the city. All his worldly possessions were in those 2 bags and he could only carry one at a time but he would never leave one out of his sight. Not a funny story but a very strange thing to see, wondering if anyone else ever encountered this bloke?