Trip Report 5/16-23, I don't smoke a lot but I smoke a bit.

[White Moses]

I left on Saturday 5/15 for my first trip to Amsterdam. We were worried there would be garbage all over the place, but were still excited. After a 2 hour and a 9 hour flight we arrived at around 11:00 on Sunday morning. Before we left my wife, White Cleopatra, who does not smoke a lot said she did not want me stoned the whole trip and not to get stoned until we were familiar with the city.

So upon landing and getting settled into our apartment I ran out to get high as quickly as I could. I was like a kid in a candy shop. I first went to Paradox and got half grams of cheese, chocolope a light hash and a pre rolled pure Amnesia. I then ran as fast as I could to Grey Area. I bought a gram of Grey Haze. I asked the dude if he had a pie I could use, he gave me one and asked if I just needed it then or for the whole trip. I said both if that was cool. He said I could smoke in the one he gave me and then gave me another and just said drop it off before I leave town. Wow, I thought that was super cool. Even though I knew I could find a pipe for $5, now I could just buy a couple to bring back with me and not have to toss one after I use it.

I smoked the Grey Haze there in the shop and got real high. I came back to the apartment and White Cleopatra was not that happy that I ran at top speed to go get high right away. I knew I was gonna catch a beating over it, but the way I see it sometimes in life you just take your beating. We went to some house she wanted to tour that a little Jewish kid got kidnapped in during World War II. She really enjoyed it but I did not care that much about it.

We then ate at Sara's pancakes. It was nice.

We came home and I stuffed a pipe with some cheese and tried it. Honestly I expected a much more distinctive taste from all I heard about it. I tried the chocolope and from a half bowl of each I was pretty stoned, but was not impressed that much with the taste of either and did not think they were that great overall. Plus I like sativas better, but wanted to try a little of everything.

I then ran down the road to a place, I think called Rastababy. There was a Moroccan guy working the counter who was actually quite cool and he sold me a gram of some Turkish hash.

I ran top speed back to the apartment and smoked some more of a mixture of chocolope and cheese. I called it chococheese. White Cleopatra tried a little and liked it.

I then remembered reading on this very forum about some recipe for hash yogurt. I shaved about half a gram, maybe a little more of the Turkish hash with my amphibian toe and finger nail clippers I brought with me for the trip and mixed it into a container of strawberry yogurt a lady at Albert Heine sold me. That would be for breakfast tomorrow before going to Noodermarket. I will try to figure out how to post some pics and will continue with day two tomorrow.

[titus wong]

Gosh, you must have needed a rest after blazing around town at top speeds. I'm getting a little winded myself out of sympathy. No doubt White Cleopatra is some kinda fabulous for a grown man to risk both a beating and runner's cramp. I imagine you were staying in de Jordaan? How was the apartment and from whom did you rent it? For some reason, I thought you had been planning on staying in de Pijp...

I knew I was gonna catch a beating over it, but the way I see it sometimes in life you just take your beating.

Henry Hill would agree with you.

[White Moses]

Wow you get extra credit for remembering we were initially staying in De Pijp AND for recognizing my Henry Hill reference. About a month before our trip the lady we were renting from who is Peid Tier or Piedmont properties, something like that asked if we would mind switching to another apartment as she had someone in ours who wanted to extend three months. The apartment in Jordaan was a little nicer and a bit bigger and we actually wanted to be up there but did not want to pay the price so it worked out great when she gave us the same price as the first place.

The place was great. Around 900 square feet, nice hardwood floors and views of the canal from both the living room and bedroom. It had wi fi and a IPOD docking station so we listened to IPOD especially MGMT's hit song "Electric Feel" very often in the apartment.

Here are some of my pics of Amsterdam:



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[indk]

Sounds like a crazy dash round town, but you gotta' do what you gotta' do right?

Looking forward to the next instalment, & nice one on the photo thumbnails!

[Boner]

Top job, cheers for the pics and cheers for putting them in thumbnails as well.

[Bilbo Baggins]

Nice report--looking forward to seeing how this '' hash in the yogurt'' escapade pans out as I plan to do the same thing concerning my tobacco fascist wife next week

PS boner or any other competent forum dude--I woulodnt mind a post in the appropriate thread elsewhere concerning posting pics as thumbnails--I agree it makes the whole page a lot more readable

[matty223]

[quote="White Moses"]. We went to some house she wanted to tour that a little Jewish kid got kidnapped in during World War II. She really enjoyed it but I did not care that much about it.

You have to be kidding i cant believe i read this(hope you were joking)

[Trad]

I found that statement unbelievable and disturbing also Matty, but then assumed it was an attempt at humour.

[Sir Niall of Essex-sire]

We went to some house she wanted to tour that a little Jewish kid got kidnapped in during World War II. She really enjoyed it but I did not care that much about it.

An attempt at humor, or an utterly stupid statement from someone who has no idea what Irony is? ( How the OP name relates to Antisemitism. )

[White Moses]

10:12 a.m. Tuesday morning. While White Cleopatra was getting ready I had my strawberry hash yogurt breakfast. My clippers did not reduce the hash to the desired consistency and it was a bit rough to eat, but I soldiered through. I knew it took a while for it to kick in, but began wondering if I would feel anything when I had not by 11:00. When I still did not feel anything at 11:30 I reduced the plan to an old wives tale. Now it is almost noon and White Cleopatra and I are walking down Herengracht to the Noodermarket. I am walking at a frenzied pace because I got wind that they sold freshly squeezed orange juice for $1 a glass that is the best you will ever have. As I am flying down Herengracht it hit me all of a sudden like I walked into a brick wall. Boom. All of a sudden I was stoned. I slowed my pace and White Cleopatra said "What's wrong" She is anti-turkish hash and especially would not like it if she knew I mixed it up with strawberry yogurt, so I had to keep my buzz a secret. I notified her that I was cramping up and had to slow down. We slowed down and I enjoyed my buzz to the Noodermarket. Upon arriving I purchased the orange juice I heard about and it lived up to expectations. It was the best I had ever had! We strolled around and I purchased this picture:




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It was of some old bloke named Koening Boudejwing or something. He had his wife in the picture and I thought it was nice. I figured the guy had to have been some elite business man of some sort to have such an odd looking picture and a bunch of letters in front of his name. I was able to score the picture for $1. I did a little research and found out the Tulip industry in the Netherlands was not always flourishing and a lot of people lost fortunes in it at some point. I figured this guy probably made some innovation in Tulips either in growing them or perhaps shipping them and he became an icon. I figured the lady in it was probably just his wife that was hot at some time and like Paris Hilton was just famous for being a hot chick on top of being married to the guy that saved the tulip industry.

Another thing I loved about Amsterdam was the $1 and $2 coins. I love paying for stuff in exact change and love it even more when it can be in coins. Normally I would make a small purchase with a $20 and begin to load up on coins. I would usually get up to having $20-$25 in coins in my pocket and then spend the piss out of it in paying in exact change. I loved doing that.

We were leaving Noodermarket and I decided I was going to get something to snack on. This Chinaman had a stand selling different vietnamese egg rolls. He sold me one that was called something that began with a "L". It was some kind of chicken egg roll. He pulled it out of the deep fryer right in front of me and said something in Chinese, I figured he was telling me it was extra hot and not to burn my tongue. I figured it out cause I saw him pull it right out of the deep fryer. I paid him his asking price of $1 and began walking out with White Cleopatra. It was so hot I could not begin to taste it until we were outside the market. When I did I discovered just how damn good it was! We gobbled it down and I decided I had to have more. I felt bad about making White Cleopatra walk all the way back to the stand with me so I just yelled "Wait right here" and took off back to the stand, I did not just want to have her standing there waiting for me so I hustled back there and had two $2 Euro coins ready. I ran up to the guy and he grinned all big and said something else to me in chinese, probably "I knew you'd be back". I just held up four fingers and pointed to the egg rolls. He handed me four of em' I thanked him and took off. I realized I would need something to wash em' down with so I got a $1 Euro coin ready in my left hand, bolted by the Orange Juice stand, picked up a juice in my right and laid down the coin with my left without much more than slowing down! Man, I love paying for stuff in coins.

After that we went to Dam Square and had lunch somewhere. The lunch was not bad, but was rather forgettable. I also had a La Choffe with a lemon. What did stand out was what else was in the beer. There was a hard plastic rod with a small circle on one end. I quickly realized this apparatus was used to mash the lemon in the drink. Brilliant! You see I'm from the United States. We do not have those things here. We have two choices when you get handed a drink with a piece of fruit in it. You can either A) just leave it floating in it and have some of the juices leak out or B) reach in with your fingers in the drink, pull it out and squeeze it. Well on an average day there is no telling where my hands have been so that is not the best option, so I just have to let it float, not an ideal situation, but the only game in town. No more. I loved this tool. I got 4 more drinks so I could use the tool and began to pocket them to bring them back to the States. I will never have to simply let a piece of fruit float in my drink without getting its full benefit again.

We did not do much that evening. We had some drinks at various brown cafes around Jordaan and called it a night. I finished the evening with making a conncoction with the cheese and chocolope with the rest of the turkish hash in the middle of it like a sandwich. It was a nice relaxing buzz that we both enjoyed.

Tomorrow would be the Red Light District. As I do before buying an automobile I began compiling a list of the options and extras I want and come up with a price that I want to spend. I got out a note pad and my ink pen I brought with me, sat down at the desk and turned on the lamp and began compiling my list so I would be ready for the negotiations with the window sex workers tomorrow. I was a bit intimidated, but just as buying a car I wanted to go in prepared. (I wish there was a carfax for whores, lol).

[TwoCanucks]

. We went to some house she wanted to tour that a little Jewish kid got kidnapped in during World War II. She really enjoyed it but I did not care that much about it.

You have to be kidding i cant believe i read this(hope you were joking)

I found that statement unbelievable and disturbing also Matty, but then assumed it was an attempt at humour.

I think it's pretty obvious that this entire thread is from a "want to be" comedian.

[angry pirate]

Tomorrow would be the Red Light District. As I do before buying an automobile I began compiling a list of the options and extras I want and come up with a price that I want to spend. I got out a note pad and my ink pen I brought with me, sat down at the desk and turned on the lamp and began compiling my list so I would be ready for the negotiations with the window sex workers tomorrow. I was a bit intimidated, but just as buying a car I wanted to go in prepared. (I wish there was a carfax for whores, lol).

Right, now i'm confused... thought you went there with your wife? She cool with that, or another swing an a miss at comedy?
Having said that, thanks for the report.

[chigusa]

there is no rule that says one must be overawed and emotionally devastated by the anne frank house. i for one have never been there, not in well over fifty trips. i never would. the whole thing just sounds dull to me.

the queues are stupid and if you are of the emotional type, why put such a big downer on your holiday?

go on, call me anti Semitic. i dare you.

[Sir Niall of Essex-sire]

there is no rule that says one must be overawed and emotionally devastated by the anne frank house. i for one have never been there, not in well over fifty trips. i never would. the whole thing just sounds dull to me.

the queues are stupid and if you are of the emotional type, why put such a big downer on your holiday?

go on, call me anti Semitic. i dare you.

No there's not a rule that says you should feel overwhelmed, there's no rule saying that if i blended a puppy and made it into a smoothie and preceded to down the drink in one you have to be disgusted. It's just a usual human emotion.

If you think it's dull then fair enough, some people find it strange because it's so touristy. However, there is no need to talk down about what happened there, it's called basic human respect, if you went to the killing fields in Normandy and thought it was shit, just a bunch of fields and dull you're entitled to think that, just as you're entitled to think Anne Franks house is dull. You're wrong and display little respect in remembrance of one of the greatest human tragedies ever to happen in history. But you're entitled to your opinion, freedom of speech/thought is a double edged sword.

You're not Anti-Semitic, you not said anything Anti-Jewish. A Philistine perhaps, but not Anti-Semitic.

White Moses, im inclined to think it was a joke. As a fan of bad taste jokes i'll not chastising you for making the joke, just that i didn't find it funny.

[choppyman]

Relax guys...Let him tell his story. personally i find it rather entertaining