Worst coffee shop experience

[Felty]

I thought it'd be fun to see people's worst CS experience.

Seeing someone whitey into a bong would be a good example.

I've seen a girl try hit a bong and blew into it and water/weed went everywhere This was at a festival tho not the dam.

[Balou]

I guess you didn't read the Coffeeshop Reviews Introduction post. https://www.coffeeshopdirect.com/forum/viewt ... p?f=5&t=25

[benstraat]

Over the years I've had a few.

About two years ago, I went to Abraxas at 9am.

It was totally dead, so I went over to the bud counter and had a browse. The budtender was behind the bar talking to the barman, with no customers in sight.

I thought nothing of it, because service can be slow in Amsterdam and that's fine, five minutes passed. They saw me waiting, and looked over and smiled.
Again five minutes passed, so I approached and said I want to buy some weed, neither of them said anything.

So as I walked back I said to the girl I was with, 'fucking hell, you'd think they didn't want my money', on this note, he came over and sold me some super silver haze, pre bagged, I didn't like that, I've never been back and never will.

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Although the Grey Area product is great, I am sick of waiting upto half an hour in a que.

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I got sold one spliffs worth of awful hash for 18 euros in Hunters once, never bought anything from there since.

[Not_the_monk]

La Canna + mushrooms. Do I need to say more? We were always just gonna have a bad time. *shudders*

[DeanPF]

Amnesia during my last trip in December. Was on a buy and fly as I wanted to get back to the hotel to shower and shit and prep for the carnage ahead. Walked in and it was quiet as fuck for 5 odd pm which I werent expecting. Walked up to empty bud counter looking for an indica and asked to see the Red Cherry Berry and LSD, he whipped out the tub of RCB and proceeded to weigh up what looked like well over a g! I piped up "can I have a look and smell of both please and I'm only looking for a g sorry man" and he had a fuckin piss fit saying "I havent got time to show you the whole menu sorry especially if your only buying a gram". He was a pretty tall ginger fuck, attitude stunk and if I werent as blazed as I retrospectively was at the time I would have given the cunt a mouthfull and told him to stick was turned out to be average bud up his ringpiece. Sometimes I feel like my over-blazedness is a hindrance sometimes on budtenders but if I was straight or had a few drink in me and was clucking for a biff: I wouldn't have been very nice to the boy . I Wont return but never say never

[thedamn]

lol blowing into the bong is pretty funny, but to throw up into the bong is hilarious.

[Smith2]

Double Reggae in 2008, my first trip to the Dam since 1994. Couldn't smoke in my hotel, so went out before breakfast, and very little was open. Got the worst cup of coffee I'd ever bought over there and sat outside, where some other people were. A cop car went past, and the man in the shop ran out to tell me to put the pipe away. I didn't understand it, and followed him back inside, asking whether I should smoke inside. No, no, he said, just not when the cops came by. But it's a coffeeshop with seats outside. Very odd atmosphere. The main reason, though, that it sticks in my mind is that an office worker type passed by as well on her way to her job, I presume, and gave me the greatest look of contempt I'd ever seen on someone's face in my life, although I was doing no more than sitting at a table with a pipe. The Dutch can be awfully puritanical at times.

[OffieBoss]

Dampkring 1
Two different experiences
1- after ordering an oj I proceed to roll a joint at the bar, no sooner had I finished licking the gum, the girl behind the counter dusts the bits that have not made it into the joint all over me and my mate, think nothing of it we smoke our joints and roll on else where. The same thing happens the next day, wtf!!! Purposely spill my oj over the bar and fuck off outta there.... Never to return....

2- almost pull a full blown whitey in a packed dampkring, did the lambada outside for a few minutes trying to walk it off ! Went back to the hotel for a little lay down...

[Thomasbandit]

Some of these sound more funny than 'worst experience' so I'm gonna add in the funny -

In Club Media some guy didn't spot someone's dog lying down and stepped on it (completely accidentally) and the dog let out a huge yelp - my first instinct was that it was one of the girls working there screaming (a horrified scream) like someone had pulled out a gun. Was funny how everyone stopped instantly, everyone's faces like WTF shock horror and then when everyone realised it was the dog and the guy apologised everyone instantly resumed smoking - heavily for a few minutes I have to add too

Another time in there when football was on (Netherlands vs Estonia I think) and there was a minute silence in the game and slowly the place fell silent; it was really surreal being in a busy coffeeshop, people smoking but absolute silence

[Rob_OG]

These stories are a little tame. Let me chuck in a few....

There's the time a Ukrainian blagged a bong of weed then tried to sell me a Glock in Barney's at 7 am.
"Fuck off you don't have a Glock" I said.
"Yeah, there it is man, and a box of 9mm. 1200 euro for my friend" he said, putting same on table.
"Umm, cheers, keep an eye on my weed, I need to nip out for a moment" said I, heading towards Amnesia.

Or there's the morning at the old "Hard Rock coffeeshop" (before Hard Rock cafe shut them down - '94 I'd guess) that I was sitting outside and saw two street dealers fighting with knives on the bridge. One ended up in the canal with bad cuts and floated away face-down.

There's the daytrip when I whitied/whitey-ed/freaked in Picasso at 8:55am and had to go to the beach and drink whiskey all day to get "straight". I now live at same beach...

Or there's the day I met MH (Hi Brett!) in Katsu, smoked two vapes and ran away, thinking I'd miss my plane 6 hours later and that he was in fact Satan's little helper.

There's the c*** who spilled rollmop herring in my tent at Vliegenbos...worst morning ever...not a great week...not really a coffeeshop story but hey...

[Rusty Shackleford]

Grasshopper 2

That is all.

[Chrisuperfly]

Don't know about worst but, its kinda funny looking back. Queens Day 2011, normally I park in either Waterlooplein car park or in a relatively secret spot that always has open spots over toward that side of the city. Well, since the Centrum is closed down to car traffic on Queens Day I had to park waaaaaaay outside the Centrum down near Diamantbuurt, at least from what I remember that was the general vicinity. So I park get out of the car and walk over to the parking meter to pay, local Dutch dude grabs me and says, "No We go Party Free Parking Today", I say cool and start following him, well we all get lost in the crowd and I just go about my regular schedule of getting wasted. I spent most of the first half of the day at Paradox, had maybe 3 pound cakes plus a mix of weed from 4 or 5 different coffeshops, needless to say I was fuckered. So 4-5 O'clock rolls around and I find myself in Dam Square, I sit down at the monument to gather my thoughts. Then it hits me, no bullshit, "Dude wheres my car?". I had completely forgot where I parked my car. So I set out toward the direction I thought I came in from, through Rembrandt Square and further south, nothing is looking familiar. By that time it was getting to be about 11:00 at night and I realized I had to be in Germany the following day for work related stuff. Got to the point I was just walking around from block to block clicking the door unlock button on the keys and looking for flashing lights. Got to the point that I went back into the Centrum and got baked again just to calm myself down. Then I walk up to a cab driver and told him to drive around in the general vicinity of Diamantbuurt while I hang out the window hitting the door unlock button looking for flashing taillights........we found the car at 3:30 A.M. Fucking crazy.

That was just one instance, I have so many stories from my time in Amsterdam that are priceless which is why I love the place so much.

[notsofasteddie]

Dampkring 1
Two different experiences
1- after ordering an oj I proceed to roll a joint at the bar, no sooner had I finished licking the gum, the girl behind the counter dusts the bits that have not made it into the joint all over me and my mate, think nothing of it we smoke our joints and roll on else where. The same thing happens the next day, wtf!!! Purposely spill my oj over the bar and fuck off outta there.... Never to return....

2- almost pull a full blown whitey in a packed dampkring, did the lambada outside for a few minutes trying to walk it off ! Went back to the hotel for a little lay down...

Thanks for reminding me that being a budtender may not be the best job in the world

[treetop]

Great idea for a thread and long overdue. After all this site isn't just to promote coffeeshops in amsterdam in general. It is to help people 'weed' out the bad ones and thus enjoy their holiday experience a little bit more hopefully.

Some coffee shops take the piss.

Hunters in the AM. The newer place. Rolled by there on my bike for some NYCD. A few moments later I was backing out of the place with my arm raised in front of me hoping the psycho BT wouldn't attack physically for wanting weed during his morning smoke.

Ibiza - popped in there with another ACD'er. Asked to see something, bought the 2nd thing I saw. Guy with me looked at 4 more things without buying anything. The BT lost his patience and exploded with a tirade of abuse directed at us both as we beat a hasty retreat out of the shop.

The BT in Dolphin that told me that the small buds were more potent as the bigger ones were filled with more air when I asked her why she was giving me the shake instead of a bud like I asked.

To end on a more positive note -
Amazingly enough in a lot of visits those 3 minor problems are the only I've ever had which is a big thumbs up for service in CS in general in mokum and an even bigger one for ACD and its many many reviews and reviewers who take the time to add their comments.

[tot ziens]

They all sell pot. No bad coffeeshops.