Hair straighteners; ok - not too bad. Plenty of blokes carry hair straighteners these days. The spanner in the works is that I have short straight hair. I’m not yet sure what the story will be if they ask me about those - perhaps I’ll be ironing some very small trousers? Tiny emergency sandwich toaster? I could always pack a tiny sandwich (or some tiny trousers) to make a convincing job of it.
I’m also laden with pre-cut sheets of PTFE and parchment for storing hash/pressing rosin. 25u micron screen for pressing hash Rosin. An induction heating coil and voltage controller (otherwise known as an e-nail) for my errrrrr - engineering project? Yeah that might work. I have the Mighty and the Crafty plus various quartz and titanium glass nails (aromatherapy devices). The icing on the cake, or spanner in the works dependent on your viewpoint - is a little smoking pouch with assorted pointy metal things (for rapping firmly on inquisitive customs officers foreheads - I daydream) and some pre-injection alcohol cleaning swabs for de-soiling said apparatus before the journey home; which doesn't make me look like an intravenous drug user - at all.
In fact - absolutely everything looks like it’s specifically designed to set alarm bells ringing at customs. Not least the silver trophy that says ‘1st place best coffeeshop’ on it.
Wish me luck!
I figure that at the worst case - I end up in Amsterdam on the next flight with belt and braces only - nothing that I’m carrying is actually illegal or immediately identifiable as paraphernalia when disassembled and mixed with other, less conspicuous travel items such as wash kits, camera and tripod equipment, my various batteries, charging leads and travel adaptors etc etc.
Even my trusty little steel pipe and the vapes break down into four parts that can be cleaned with Isopropyl and scattered about my bag - handy. Additionally - I have taken missed flight cover insurance (a steal at a tenner) which I’m told by the small print is good for ‘any reason’. One day - no doubt; I’ll get a chance to test that policy with all this laissez faire paraphernalia carrying attitude. Hopefully that day will not be today.
Also - I like to think that any airport baggage scanner operator that can indeed recognise an e-nail, or a vaporiser, or a quartz banger for its intended use - is clearly a Cannabis enthusiast and more likely to think ‘Go on lad' than inform their superiors of my presence - I hope. So I use that romantic notion of stoner camaraderie to fuel the calm that it takes to stride through customs carrying a cache of smoking devices without a care in the world.
Anyway, we’ll not dwell on that. Instead, let’s focus instead on the nice selection of hazes that came my way recently through a well connected source and has resulted in a hopefully - as yet TBC regular supply of these few strains the grower has been trying to perfect.
So I’m vaping on some cut-only Bodhi seeds Silver Mountain (SSH x Appalachia, this pheno is super heavy on the SSH end with a back-note of chemical cleaner from the Tres Dawg parent). Some nine week Amnesia (not quite sweet enough to be considered perfect for my tastes but she delivers a lovely savoury sage peppery spice that has that characteristic hint of cheese I spot from the skunkier phenotypes) from Royal Queen I believe. Finally - some cut-only Cheese Berry Haze (Bluecheese x Ladycane (SSH x G13)) from Sannies which is a cut direct from the man himself so I’m told.
The Cheese Berry Haze is unique yet subtlety flavoured the berries come through as blue and strawberry velvet in the throat. The cheese is subtle as a back-note yet somehow inexplicably manages to overpower the SSH and G13 which simply seem to add their helpful hint of sweet metallic spiciness rather than hog the palette as you might expect. The velvet exhale bottom is almost cake-like, somehow biscuity and savoury - combined with the other notes it’s reminiscent of a distant strawberry cheesecake. The flavour from the flowers are louder from the vape than when burnt - she has a subtle flavour anyway but makes up for that by being mind bunglingly strong in potency and has resulted in some outstanding Rosin which make a beautifully smooth (and SO much tastier than the original flowers) vape hit from the Mighty.
The lack of residue on the concentrate disc means I won’t have to re-clean the unit before flying either - so I load another one up for the road. Seems rude not to. I’ve got a few hours on the red-eye airport express to get through. May as well be as crispy as possible for the journey.
Bag packed? tickets, passport, money, reading fodder, undies ’n' socks ’n' bathroom shizzle? Check.
Now - sleep. 2:30am start.
Hmmm. Sleep seems highly unlikely…
I”m super excited! I’m going to meet over 24 ACD’ers in less that 24 hours
I roll a fattie of all three hazes and add a little Rainbow Jones (Connoisseur genetics GDP x Casey Jones) for extra dank fruit punch flavour.
I also press out a few bubble hash dabs from the Rainbow Jones to ensure there’s some body in this little trip I have lined up and set those three little soldiers up on the front line. Fuck it - let’s have a wax dab too and make it a four-way chaser. If that little lot doesn’t inspire shuteye then nothing will.
Sparking her I turn out the lights, put iTunes on random and hit the visualiser.
The J is beautiful, she tastes amazing and gives me a lovely warm body glow right from the get-go with a powerful head to match. I drink in her effects and savour her flavour delights. All four are distinct enough to pick out.
The sage spice of the Amnesia and the cheesy funk from the Cheese Berry at the middle with a backside of chemical astringent cleaner edge from the Silver Mountain which also delivers the sweet metallic top end. All rounded off nicely with the sweet and sour fruity purple gobstopper punch of the Rainbow Jones. Why haven’t I tried this 4-way before? Bloomin' wonderful.
I stretch the doob out so it takes the best part of an hour to finish off. Every 15 minutes or so I knock in a little dab and feel that cut through my smokers stone with a crisp and efficient vapour hit - the modulating effect of the CBD and CBN from the hash is just magic, Relaxant bliss. A well rounded profile of noids ’n’ terps i ponder - how very bloody satisfying indeed. I am well and truly crispy-as right now.
Before bed I've lined up a few bowls in various bongs and left them out ready for the quick fire shower/food/wake’n’bake/taxi and straight out the door routine. It’s sign-off time for this high-mofo. I’ll finish this first episode on the train later and hopefully publish it from the airport.
In the meantime - as a brief interlude enjoy some pics of the current stash that I took the other day. I’m hoping to capture some pics of the various bits I buy over the next few days so these are the test shots.
Miss Amnesia Haze (you’ve seen this one already)
Miss Silver Mountain (a bit blurry - oops)
Miss Cheese Berry Haze
And last but not least - Miss Rainbow Jones.
Sleep came remarkably easily around 6pm so I'm fairly bright and breezy once I get settled on the train. Helped along magnificently by the missus staying awake to say goodbye (aaaahhh) and Bonghugs excellent travelogue. Both of which have given me a lovely warm glow. Maybe that was helped along by that gram of haze I've just smashed in
but it feels symbiotic enough to me. In wondering how long my buzz will last - lamenting the loss of endo cannabanoid therapy I remember the mighty. Loaded and waiting in my bag! Could today get any better?
Once mr ticket man has been along and done his ticketing duties, there are no other stops and I have the carriage to myself. The rosin only smells suspicious for a few minutes at most and there's two and a half hours of journey time ahead. I have a deodorant top-up just in case
So now I'm sat nice and crispy on the train pondering my potential purchases over the coming days - it’s been a great few weeks for updates on the forum, loads of great travelogues and detailed CS updates so as usual I have a bit of a wish-list.
It looks something like this at the moment:
Bagheera: I very rarely shop here, have never stopped here and looking at their menu I wouldn't mind trying their Somari at €14. They've had Tahoe OG on too and it's another strain I haven't had the pleasure of yet. She's €15.
I'd very much like to try something from El Guapo given some of the forum reports this year so far - I walked in last year and walked straight back out due to a huge queue so I’m keen to sample their wares this time and it's only round the corner from my hotel (no bulldog spot this time boohoo this will be a first!)
Voyagers have had Scotts OG on recently, one that I missed last time it was on.
Siberie's Nicole Kush at €16 and East Coast Sour Diesel at 13.50 and their Top Sahara Hash at €12 all sound interesting.
I think Macky has convinced me to give Green House another try as he's been bigging up their hash: looking at the menu - Super Critical at €13. NYCD at €15 might be worth a blast for old times sake.
1e Hulp's menu looks outstanding at the moment. Blackberry Kush at €15 is a definite. BC Bud for €10 - yes please - it's been a while for me and that familiar friend. Rascal OG and White Domina at €14 are both strains on the 'to-do' list.
1e's menu delivers like no other shop in this way for me. Large, varied, often unique (in Amsterdam) with a great spread of prices. If their finishing quality was 100% consistent I'd hands down be confident in giving them my personal first place award - for effort alone. Unfortunately; I haven't ever met a grower that could claim 100% consistency so I'm under no illusions that it's about to happen now. The up and down is all part of the fun to me. It's galling at times when a purchase goes wrong - but it makes the diamonds all the more special when found.
Old Church is an interesting place too. The menu looks pricey until you realise that most of the bags are 1.2 or more. Their menu has Cannalope Kush, Melon Haze, Sour Tangie and Rocklock all €16 for 1.2 or 1.3. More strains from the the todo list!
Boereojongens is another shop killing it right now in terms of variety. LA Cannalope Haze mmmmmm yes please! €12 - take my money! Mexican Cookies at €14 is VERY interesting - I love the Mexican haze vibe. Amazing Haze at €11 is a steal and frankly I couldn't pick between the wide variety of new Bloc hashes based on name alone so it will be down to whichever bloc looks and smells the best. Repeat trips may be in order.
Club Media's menu is another impressive affair: 90u Super Skunk Bubble hash at €50 is good value if it's a true 90 micron (often the very best grade) and their 3tje skunk#1 derivative at €11 is interesting as ever. They obviously have a skunk lover as the menu curator which i like as she's a much overlooked lady with a huge amount of variation and unexplored exotic appeal despite her years of service. Hidden depths has she (yoda smiley needed).
Dampkring's OG-Roccan €16 is a recent ACD forum recommendation alongside Tweede Kamer's C5 Pioneer hash - I want to make some Rosin from both of these.
Having typed all this - If previous trips are anything to go by; I won’t even buy 50% of this list. They’ll either be out of stock, the tubs will be all leaves and twigs and seeds and quite frankly by 11am on day one I’ll have totally forgotten about the list anyway as I’ll be one super high motherfucker.
Plus - every menu seems to completely blind me as I approach.
If there are any more than five strains on offer I enter a state of mild confusion due to over-stimulation - a fugue state of semi-panic mixed with wild excitement like a nervous lurcher, all legs and slobber and wagging tail - desperate for everything but not focussed enough to take it all in at once and make a rational decision. There are times I’ve been close to licking a bud tenders face.
'Follow the nose dude, follow the nose dude' my internal mantra reminds me. I often find myself buying the first thing that catches my eye then having to go away and have a smoke and think about what I should actually have bought.
That’s ok. I’m fine with that.
I want to step up my travelogue game this year with some pictures and a bit more flavour to the prose - so there may be a distinct lack of live blogging this trip and more taking notes for the rest of this little 4/20 tale - for once I may take the time to write the whole thing up in detail when I get back. Dunno - we’ll see.
This is something of a surprise trip - an impulse purchase so to speak. In my last travelogue back in December I’d told Macky that I would definitely not be coming to Amsterdam for 4/20.
If the missus and Macky and the rest of you hadn’t encouraged me - my resolve would have remained. Four trips last year was quite enough thank-you and the sensible thing to do would be to stay at home and earn some money and that’s what I intended to do. Not blow my savings up in smoke
Anyway that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I may sound slightly irked about this - yet here I am; sat on the red-eye again. Smirk on face, rosy glow from the wake and bake moving through me and lulling me back to sleep. Dreaming of thanking you all personally for the kind encouragement
I haven’t been this excited about a trip to the ‘Dam for ooooh at least a minute.This time is different though.
I'm going to put some faces to names I've been familiar with for many many years.
In some cases - for a decade or more. Bonkers.
My brother and I had been to Amsterdam individually (and him a couple of times) before we travelled there together and I remember that during our first trip the crew ribbed him mercilessly about the laminated ACD map he brought along. Of course this is pre google maps and smart phone days. Back in 2006 perhaps? Dunno - maybe he'll confirm. He was the big weed geek back then more so than me having discovered her delights about a decade earlier than me.
But oh boy did that map do us proud. We carried that laminated, skinned up on, eaten on, folded, shipped, stuffed and battered map all over Amsterdam for years. It was prized, championed and cheered whenever it appeared for its inaugural outing. It became a trusty companion and it never once let us down, although we thought it had and cursed it on a couple of occasions only to swallow our words later with the benefit of working out our own idiocy and seeming inability to determine east from west, north from south, arse from hole in the ground.
I still see people studying that map. Stood on an Amsterdam street corner, giggling, confused and red-eyed. I often think about approaching and helping with directions or just striking up a conversation about that map; but I always let it go preferring not to interfere - they'll find us when they're ready.
So most of all this trip - I'm looking forward to shaking hands with and saying a sincere thank-you to more than a few as yet unfamiliar faces.
I'm guessing that at the end of this little jaunt I'll be kicking myself for all those years of lurking.
Anyway, enough emoting. The airport looms... So close now!
Success!
I'm sat in the departure lounge. The guy in front of me at security had a terrible attitude and had his wrists slapped by the guard - 'I'm still talking to you - don't walk away'.Cue tuts and expletives and a subsequent total and utter buggering by the bag searchers - oh dear.
My bag is checked too - it was the IR heat gun that 'looked like a taser'. Fair enough I think - it bloody does as well
Amsterdam - here I fucking come. Brace thi'sen
, with you all the way. 
