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A bit of late planning and a change of events allowed me to secure a couple of nights in our favourite city at the end of Feb. I didn't think I'd be out until May, which sees the return of Hammond and Clarkson with his glorious beard, but alas, this time I travel solo for a few days of hash hunting and consumption. Voyagers booked for the first night and greenhouse effect for the second. No itinerary this time. Work has been tough with lots of hours so this was just a few days to kick back, relax and smoke some nice bits. It's the usual scenario with the earliest flight out and latest flight back.

A couple of pre rolls are prepared for the arrival at Luton and the walk to departures. No need to take the bus from the mid term, it's nice to walk down and under the tunnel with a big cone hanging oot yer gub. I'm nicely baked for security which is surprisingly quieter than usual! I've switched to a 30 waist with jeans now so I don't have to hold my waistline up anymore whilst my belt's in the tray. I'm sat one eyed, attempting to watch a bit of Hacksaw ridge on my tablet because after only a few hours sleep and two cones in quick succession I'm feeling a bit smashed already. The can of relentless will kick in soon enough after I've grabbed half hour shut eye on the plane. It's pissing down as we take off aswell, see ya later Blighty Everything goes smoothly with timings and we'll be landing about 15 minutes before schedule which is always a bonus. I still haven't decided yet where I'm going first, the only thing that's for certain today is that I need to see a dude for some edibles and hash. I grab a 3 day tram pass because my knee isn't the best atm and the weather is dogshit.

Out of Central and turn to the right for a change, with dk2 on my mind for my first smoke. I take a slow walk as it's 0950 and I know it's not open till 10. I stand at the door until about 1010, puffing on my trusty vape pen and no sign of any movement inside :/ I want to smoke so decide to grab a gram of SLH from greenhouse and as it's packed inside I choose to walk back up Harrlemmerstraat into Picasso for my first smoke. Hash menu has I think 5 choices and asked to see the top two. Cream and Kush hash. Went with the super blonde cream which was the more dry crumbly type and smelt good. Rolled a couple for the road whilst making contact with edibles dude and arranging to meet him over town. Am told to chill out and take my time so I have a moment to pop back to dk2 to grab a bit of king hassan and also go for a bit of Rifman Malina. The king hassan is darker and maybe a little weaker than my last visit but still a great smoke and lovely for the price. The Malina is a hard, blonde hash which took a good few minutes of persuasion to soften up enough to break into sizeable chunks for the joint. A nice smoke, good clean flavour and a nice high. Not the strongest I've had from the rifman range but was nice enough. I finish up my awesome vanilla milkshake and make a move for Voyagers to grab some flowers before I need to jump on a tram to head out of the city centre. 24k, testing Tues (some sort of kush I think) and the standard bubble (silver this time). Sorted for now and head for the tram, onwards!

At a friends I grabbed some 250mg chocolate bars. I'd had a 200mg bar back in the UK a few weeks before the trip that caught me off guard a little, so expected good things from these. Also a nice chunk of kosher/tangie hash and some really nice unpressed bubble. Was also treated to my first dab, on an enail and with flower rosin. I've smoked concentrates snaked in joints and on topped off bowls but this was the best flavour and a soaring high which cut through everything I'd managed to consume by then. It's definitely convinced me that I need a dab rig with enail!

Stash looking healthier I head towards Jordaan and into Paradox. Always loved this place with its chilled vibe and cosy feel. Was happy to see Dr Grinspoon on the menu so had a bit of that and also the chemdawg which I remembered enjoying last visit. Hash I had the Alaskan Ice and the Wash, both I've had before and both were decent black hashes then. Have yet to try these out but rolled up the flowers in the shop. Grinspoon wasn't impressive when burnt but did smell nice in the grinder. Effects were definitely there, a nice uplifting high that you expect from the strain. Chemdawg nice too but not as nice as the UK version at home in my jar I pondered sat in here a fair while talking with an American and South African girl who were staying in a hostel round the corner. Would I like to go and party with them tonight? No thanks 10 years ago I would have been all over it like a tramp viciously scoffing a bag of chips, but not anymore. I politely decline and we smoke some kosher/tangie hash. Nice hash indeed, new style block hash, super soft and pungent. I roll a couple for the road and bid my farewells.

It's pishin doon, as my late gran would have said bless her, hood up and a bent rain soaked reefer hanging out of my mouth I shamble my way back through Jordaan. I should hit ErsteHulp now and get some bon bons from flower power but have a change of heart and take a tram back to central station. On the tram I decide to start with the chocolate and eat 2/5 of a bar (100mg) should be enough to get me cosy for now with a smoke on top. I'm tired, wet and hungry so buy half of the cakes from our beloved Albert and grab a Maoz Fallafel Pitta because I'd been dreaming about the deep fried nuggets of joy since my last trip. I head back to Voyagers and punish myself up the stairs. I'm just going for two steps at a time on this trip, I'm not fucking about with the one step routine it costs an extra minute. Room 7 this time too so a nice view over the water and of the eastern edge of the train station I showered and filled myself full of food and chocomel and grabbed a couple of hours sleep. The day was still fairly young and I was battered from the smoking and chunk of chocolate I'd had on the tram so I couldn't resist the comfy bed.

Alarm rings at 6pm, deftones - digital bath i'd chosen I forget for a second where I'm waking up but then reality kicks in I feel really good and ready to smoke and my stash is decent, albeit in need of some more flowers soon and still more hash to be bought. I roll up the gram of 24k I'd bought earlier in Voyagers and chuck in a bit of the unpressed bubble for good measure. The smell from this one is fantastic with hints of the kosher then the sweet/sour notes of the beloved tangie. it looks great too, I need more of this. Best bit is the coffeeshop that sells it is right below me, so life is pretty good at this point. I went down the stairs backwards and on my belly this time. I've found this to be the safest method, and means I don't have to get all my harness' and ropes and shit out.

Voyagers, man I love this place. And what always should be a quick purchase and smoke always ends up being an hour long conversation with a random stoner. The 24k is as glorious as its bag appeal suggests and the cone is pouring off smoke with the aid of the bubble hash. I grab another couple of grams for the stash and some Atlas too. Sit down with a Belgian lad talking about Brexit and old skool Fords. I'm smashed at this point as I roll up a few different joints for my travels and bid my farewells. Matey smoked over a dozen bongs whilst we sat there, and I topped a couple off with some bubble/hash, so we were both pretty mashed as we said cheerio

Did I mention the weather? Rain was like /////// angled at the face. Nothing like a shambling stoner telling the rain to FUCK OFF. I take cover by the drop to go luggage place and light a reefer. Out comes google maps. Massawa, flashback and all in that area come to mind, but even with the tram out there I still have to trundle about in this to hit them all. Maybe tomorrow will be better weather I think to myself as I shake my fist at the sky. I'm not hungry enough yet for Batavia, even though I'm stood right next to it and seems the obvious choice, so I head to the tram stop and jump off just near Utopia. Menu looks nice. I go for the Blue dream and citral and a bit of amnesia cream. Citral was beautiful, up there with the 24k as top of the trip. I wasn't even planning on buying much bud this trip but it seems I'm buying more than hash :/ Blue dream is good too and my first time trying the strain. I only rolled small ones just to try the flavours but will have a better go at Batavia. Amnesia cream was very different to what I've had before. Much harder and more brittle, I think partly due to the cold, but even when held still never formed that malleable chunk that i remembered from before. I will buy it again of course because it's been so good in the past. I bid farewell to Ingi and will see her the next night to try some of the others.

Come outside and the rain has stopped so o hatch a plan to hit Kadinsky, Dampkring and Boerejongens all in one swoop for buy and flys, then jump on a tram back to Batavia. Have a couple I rolled earlier to fuel journey. On my journey I come across a chap on a modified mad max pushbike. It's got a fucking Bison skull or some thing along those lines, mounted on the damn handlebars! The guy, I can only describe as having the body of a hells angel, but the head of a Viking, also had a ghetto blaster playing some eery dance tune at full volume as he cruised past. Only in Amsterdam....Habibi rouge from Kadinsky, A dark, slightly sticky one from Dk that I've forgot the name off and didn't write into my notes. And a few of the different blocks from Boere (wcb, choco kush I think? A darker sticker one than the white choco it is, and blue dream.) I'll return to Boerejongens tomorrow to have a look at others, maybe even out west if I can.

On the tram, a few more squares of chocolate and Batavia bound. I go for the classic cheese/bacon burger and chips this time. The food is so good here and everything else is perfect too. I sit and smoke through a fair bit of the stash and hatch various plans on how i can move to Amsterdam in the spring, or maybe just not even go back

Even after that sleep earlier I feel done, I head back to the hotel and smoke a few pipes out of the glorious top floor doors i'm swaying a little so just don't sway forwards too much!! Hacksaw ridge left playing on my tablet on my chest, think I lasted about 5 minutes A rain hampered first day but still enjoyable nonetheless.

I'm starting Day two now, I'm determined to finish this one

Cracking start dude - thanks that was a really good read.
The bit about the Voyagers stairs had me laughing and your tale has right put me in the mood for a good strain hunt
FUCKING hurry up April!

Great read....you make crawling in the rain sound fun.

Thanks for reporting. Keep em coming. 20 days and a wake for me. Can't wait.

Nice report mate! Like the way you write!

Will be there from Sunday! You've wet my whistle!!

Great read dude, keep em coming!

If the 24k from voyagers compares to the one they had in November it is indeed bloody fantastic!

Get. Here. April.

Excellent read. I, too, scheme for ways to move to The Netherlands every trip. If you ever figure it out, I'm all ears!

Keep up the great posts.

As others mentioned before excellent read, BongHug82! Looking forward to the next part !

Thanks all for the comments everyone Need to get back asap!

Day two

I awaken to the sound of tourists gathering down by the coffeeshop. Last nights consumption helped me sleep through my alarm but I take joy in the fact that I haven't slept that well for some time. It's 10am and I'm hungry and quite excited about the full day I have ahead of me. A quick shower and I bid farewell to room 7 until next time, as I finish rolling up some bits and bobs for the road and set off the fire alarm with my deodorant just for good measure. Sorry about that Voyagers. The alarm, that can only be described as a World War Two siren for incoming aerial bombardments, will have at least ensured guests were prepared for check out.

Voyagers for check out and my initial plan of more 24k and something else was switched for a power bag (thanks for the tip FOD) I couldn't resist one of the sacks put on the counter in front of me by the budtender. Some sticks ok, but a good few grams of flower and some sugary shake to fill a cone with. I think I chose a good time to pop in when they'd just opened! Tucked it away for later as had a few pre rolls ready and hit the road.

Plan today was to hit the Rijkmuseum, full of medicated chocolate and as much as I could smoke on the way there. Stash was also in need of a good top up too, so left luggage at the drop and go by Batavia and headed for Picasso to grab another bit of the cream which had been my first smoke the day before and was quite a nice piece of hash. Not the strongest but such a good flavour and so blonde! Grabbed a chunk of king Hassan from dk2 and then into La Grotte for some breakfast and a pure cone of flower to get me high. I go for the 24k, which finishes the bag so I need to get back to Voyagers at some point. I'd always passed La Grotte by before until OHMF mentioned it in one of his glorious write ups. Now it's staple for a cooked breakfast, orange juice and reefer. Today though I've eaten a whole bar of chocolate as my first meal of the day, followed by some eggs on toast Empty stomach for the THC to set up home in should do the trick! Not the most ideal breakfast at 11am but the plan is to be smashed for the museum. Weather seems to be holding off too, so stomach full and a slow bimble round to catch a tram.

I jump off near the Rijksmuseum and pull out my trusty google maps for a close coffeeshop to smoke and roll a couple for my dedicated pre roll pocket. This pocket is well placed on my chest and reachable no matter how smashed I am. It's also waterproof, I happily note as I stick my middle finger up at the grey clouds whilst chuckling like a Bond villain. Coffeeshop Noon is closest so that will do.

I walk in and everything stops, I think even the music did aswell. I'm not quite sure as the chocolate was kicking in and everything seemed a bit clockwork orange. I shuffled to the counter and asked for a nice Morrocan hash and a Looza please dude. Bt seemed stressed about something and I was still getting eyeballed by the group of lads sat around the closest table. Let's not have this now please gentlemen, Rembrandt awaits and this is no time for fisticuffs! Maybe I'll go back in with my mates in May and see if they are still sat there. Ideally we will roll in dressed as Power Rangers and will bring along Viking bison skull bike dude for added effect. It all felt really odd and the hash wasn't the best but I sat for a bit at a table at the back and smoked a bit of flower and built another little one for the short walk back round to the museum.

The chocolate is really hitting home now, and the smoking on top has took me to a good place. After I've put my bag in the locker and put some eye drops in, I have a slow walk around soaking up the old stuff. I was never a museum person tbh but as I've got older I must say I've started to appreciate all this much more. I've been here a couple of times before so thought I knew my way around and finding the Rembrandt bits wasn't difficult. it wasn't long until I was stood one eye'd in front of the Night Watch, soaking up its glory. I'm starting to feel really mashed and just kind of shamble about looking at all the paintings. I had also planned to have a look at all the old weapons i had seen on my last visit and this was where I got confused. I went about through the various doors and up and down all the little stairways but just kept coming back to the same places. The map on the wall was almost impossible to understand at this level of crispiness. I was expecting Richard Obrien to pop up at any second with a fucking Harmonica giving me two minutes to find these weapons.(mumsie's calling) I kind of gave up but just kept walking around and taking it all in. Maybe they have changed the displays? or maybe they were there all along and I walked past them many times. Was fun nonetheless. Onwards for food and more smoking.

Out west beckons. I need some of that Premier from Massawa in my first aid kit/stash box. The last five grams I had was cherished and shared back home with some good friends and was such a nice hash. I can get to Boerejongens west and El Massra too and seeing as the weather is holding off I can just make my own way there. Trusty map of Google will be my steed. I sat on a bench a covertly rolled up a quick doob and off I went. I took a bit of a detour through VondelPark, and decided I could pretty much go through the park and then up the Boerejongens for a b&f before hitting Massawa. The walk was really pleasant despite the cold and grey and I was at Boerejongens in no time. I took a gram of the tangieG13 block, a bit of the Tbisla and a few more of the white choco. I've never bought weed at Boerejongens I know it gets good reviews and is well priced but I just get lost in the hash menu and alwaysleave with 5 grams of that. Next time I'll try some bud for sure! Massawa is empty and nice friendly bt happily sorts me 5grams and a can of Mangosteen. Plonk myself down in the smoking room and admire my purchases. The Massawa hash is exactly like before, beautiful golden brown with that almost red tint. Smells absolutely beautiful and goes through the pipe really well. Spent a good while breaking up chunks of my new purchases to make a few pre rolls for the pocket. The TangieG13 from Boerejongens smells good and leaves my fingers with enough stickiness to scale the smoking booth like Spider-Man. The Tbisla is also a nice bit of hash and good flavour through the pipe. Didn't bubble up like the Massawa hash as much but a nice classic flavour and smooth hit. I rolled a nice big fat cone of mixed flavours from the power bag and chucked in all different bits of hash for good measure, and also a few smaller one skins of different hashes so I could sample them on their own, as you do

We're well into the afternoon now so it's time to head back to Central, grab my case and make my way up to GreenhouseEffect for check in. Lovely Scottish lass checks me in and tells me she came for a weekend sixteen years ago and never went back to Scotland It's that Amsterdam thing that we all understand! Takes me round the corner to my apartment gives me a little tour and tells me I can smoke blunts in the room! Just have the window open! Out comes the cone from Massawa and that gets lit straight up. I like this place very much already I just kick back for a bit, watch some old Top Gear on my tablet and smoke a few fatties in succession. Is nice just relaxing and not thinking about work All the medication knocks me out for a couple of hours and I awake needing food.

Tokoman noodles are now a staple on every visit. Salt and pepper chicken with the egg noodles it's just down near Greenplace and well worth visiting if you like that sort of food. Also allowed me to get down to Bagheera for some of their ice hash. No Caboose on the menu but grabbed a bit of Nicole Kush and Lemon Haze ice. I tried the dry sieve and ice of the Caboose before and the ice was definitely stronger. Both smelt really good and got stuck straight in on the pipe, both spicy and strong! The lemon haze had a slightly better taste for me but I could really feel the Nicole Kush expanding in my lungs like fire. I was really baked when I left here and pulled a pre roll of something out my pocket as I left.

With the night closing in I decided to be boring and head back towards the hotel. Normally I'm full of beans when in 'Dam, but this time I just want to be laying down surrounded by nice weed and hash and cakes and chocomel and haribos and stroopwaffles etc. I'll need more flowers though so we'll do an Albert hein and Voyagers run on the way. Rucksack is successfully loaded with food and drinks and I grab more 24k plus some SkywalkerOG which is looking and a couple of grams of silver bubble to complete another Voyagers visit. If the green is good then why not keep going back? I fucking love Voyagers and I loved that 24k. I could happily live in Room 7 or 9 despite the stairs. Imagine using them everyday?! You'd have like mountain goat climbing athlete fitness levels! I would have been staying here for the night if it hadn't been booked, but my smoking room just across the way will suffice and it's not so far so let's go.

I lay on that bed and smoked a ridiculous amount of reefers, eat lots, watched a couple of movies and just felt super relaxed. Sat and flavoured every bit of hash I had through the pipe individually, Massawa offering was definitely one of the best. 24k was real good too as was the Wash from Paradox. Nice spicy black hash and both offerings of ice hash from Bagheera were really really good. Bubbled plenty and finished me off. A nice relaxed day and I was mashed for pretty much most of it late flight back tomorrow so will make the most of it.

Nice Report I particularly enjoyed the crystal maze reference

Thanks man. Have really enjoyed reading your reports aswell! Keep them coming

BongHug82 wrote: ↑Wed 22nd Mar 2017 11:00 pm Thanks man. Have really enjoyed reading your reports aswell! Keep them coming

Thanks man! Feel blessed from the feedback I've received!
I have another solo report to do (will prob start that tomorrow) then another report from January before my live report next month.

You managed to capture plenty of detail in your report that adds to the shared experience in it through your eyes so to speak.

I've been missing more detail's than I'd like to but its just down to those trips being so long ago.

Bloody hell thats some getting about and toking you did there, well done. Great read and looking forward to day 3. Thanks for making the effort, I think it's a nice way of re-living a good trip.

Great report!

Ohhhh man these recent travelogues are spoiling us more wonderful Amsterdam flavour, laughs and detailed reporting.
Glad you've discovered La Grotte. Tell me - do you also have a crush on the shorter dark haired Italian lady that owns the place?
She's probs got ten years on me but I can't help it!

spidergawd wrote: ↑Wed 22nd Mar 2017 11:11 pm Bloody hell thats some getting about and toking you did there, well done. Great read and looking forward to day 3. Thanks for making the effort, I think it's a nice way of re-living a good trip.

Totally agreed - for me writing reports up are much better ways of solidifying memories than photographs.
Bravo!
C'mooooooooooooan April FFS