Birthday Adventures 4: Romancing the Stoner

[SloWhite]

....

[Marriageuana]

+1
Extra Special Chritmas Edition
You Rock!
Merry Merry and Happy Happy to Everyone

[geekymonkey]

Merry Christmas to you and yours! Thanks for the story, it was a great present with my morning chill.

[AzLaker]

Merry Christmas to you LT. Another great write-up and some excellent pics, thanks.
Love how you took that old Volger's/Maxwell House?? coffee commerical....(Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home) and spun it into your story line....brilliant!! Thanks again.

AzLaker

[luvtick]

Merry Christmas to you LT. Another great write-up and some excellent pics, thanks.
Love how you took that old Volger's/Maxwell House?? coffee commerical....(Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home) and spun it into your story line....brilliant!! Thanks again.

AzLaker

YAY!!! ...was afraid it would go undetected...lol...Merry Christmas to you too, AzLaker...btw...there is another tv commercial reference too...did you catch it?

[AzLaker]

Merry Christmas to you LT. Another great write-up and some excellent pics, thanks.
Love how you took that old Volger's/Maxwell House?? coffee commerical....(Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home) and spun it into your story line....brilliant!! Thanks again.

AzLaker

YAY!!! ...was afraid it would go undetected...lol...Merry Christmas to you too, AzLaker...btw...there is another tv commercial reference too...did you catch it?

I think so. Your refrence to the "Life" cereal commerical....."Hey Mikey, he likes it!" As in Hide and the candy corn??

AzLaker

[cattales1960]

Merry christmas to you Luvbong and thanks for the gift of good reading. I would of been one of the people saying Dont eat it! LOL I hate candy corn.

[winnie]

Love it all but especially the ' Do what you love pic' and corn candy is nasty shite.

[jimi62471]

great edition.. always a great read!

[Braunezucker]

There will absolutely be candy corn next year for my girl to share with the crew.
The look on Hide's face was priceless. Kinda like a kid eating a pickle for the first time. I'll try to bring a lot more intresting treats next time!

[luvtick]

Day 2 / November 17, 2011

My leg is thrown over the top and I straddle into cowgirl position…the covers slide off the side of the bed and onto the floor…my breath is captured inside my body until his sheer volume is realized…each movement is…oh my god…they are here…caught-us-interrupt-us…lol… ...not a chance that we didn’t finish…lol… …and it is still so early!

Bong gets cleaned up while I lounge in this FABULOUSLY comfy bed…he is going to go to Albert Heijn for some breakfast goodies… Just before he is ready to leave, the siren song of that wonderful tub calls loudly enough to get me out of bed. The shower curtain is pulled back and the bean-shaped tub is revealed…with brand-spankin’ new, sparkly shower head…the tub is deep too… I opt to just take a shower today and Bong takes off for the store.

The water gets hot quickly. The water STAYS hot too! I wash my long hair, rinse and repeat…even use conditioner and the water STAYS hot!! (This is awesome!) When I begin to feel I am taking too long, I get out. Last night I had discovered the heater/towel warmer in the bathroom. With little forethought, I had hung my towel on the warmer and now my towel is toasty warm as I dry off. Nice touch…(the Eden didn’t have one of those…just sayin’…) So now it’s just about getting ready. I’m sure Bong is back by now and down in the coffeeshop. How great! …coffee and weed just below me… Again I can take my time and I do. When the hairdryer is pulled out and plugged in, it is immediately burned out when I turn it on! Damn it! My hair!! It’s WET. Well, necessity is the mother of invention, no? I once asked my hair stylist if it’s bad to use a flat iron on wet hair. She told me it won’t burn my hair. That was my concern. SO…I flat ironed my hair three times before it was dry. (My flat iron is for both voltages so it didn’t burn out!) Hey…it worked…

Realizing that Bong never came upstairs, I finish up with primping and get my coat on to go down and join everyone. I go to the door to leave. Only the door is locked! And there is no way to unlock it without the key! And Bong has the key! LMFAO… What can I do? I unpack some essentials and rearrange my stuff…my thinking is this: I am taking an awfully LONG time to get ready…he’s BOUND to come up and check on me right? …ummmmm….

Ok…I’ll call him…WAIT! He left me his cell phone so I can listen to the music…I start to jump up and down on the floor and stomp around to see if anyone downstairs can hear me…(I am right above the coffeeshop!) No one hears me. I go to the giant window and open it. This must have been the only time in the history of time that no one walks past. Ok… I KNOW he’s down there getting high and talking to everyone…and Hide is probably already there…HIDE! THAT’S IT! He is always signed onto Skype via his iPhone… I quickly log onto Skype. Here is the actual Skype message:

[11/17/2011 2:29:21 AM] luvtick: Hello Hide!! Can you tell Bong i am LOCKED in my room!!

(I guess that date and time was local SF time…)

Less than 60 seconds later, I hear the downstairs door open and the STOMP!STOMP!STOMP! of Bong running up the stairs to let me out! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

He opens the door and the guilty look is pouring out as he apologizes over and over…no worries! I knew I wouldn’t be stuck in there forever… Eventually he’d have come up to see what was taking so long, right? The worst part was smelling the weed every time someone would open the doors to the coffeeshop…occasionally the smell was mixed with the aroma of coffee too…damn…NOW it’s my turn!

When I walk inside, the room erupts in laughter…now THAT’S the way to make an entrance!!!!! A bong appears in front of me and five lighters merge to light the bowl filled with Kandy Kush. Mmmmmmm… A latte is nearly done and, in fact, IS done at the same time my coughing subsides…convenient! Mmmmmmmm…. The bong is refilled now with some Super Silver Haze and SPOOOOOOOOOON!! This time the coughing lasts a little (ok… a LOT…) longer due to the Spoon. Oxygen returns and I notice there is music playing…I just didn’t notice before…lol…before I can process what is playing, the bong is again passed to me and this time it’s filled with some Silver Bubble.

It’s getting close to noon so Bong takes the scooter back to the shop to trade for a fresh one. I wait at Voyagers and HE GIVES ME THE ROOM KEY!! Lol…

When he returns, we are ready for lunch. Today we want cheeseburgers. From Greenhouse. Yes, Greenhouse. They make “one TASTY burger!” Things are gathered, “seeyoulaters” are uttered all around, and we (*I*) climb onto the scooter.

WC-tje



a bit of fog



a bit more fog



…another cool light fixture…



We arrive at Greenhouse and park across the street. The place is pretty full, but the budtender remembers Bong…asks him to show off his GH tattoo…other budtenders come up and say they’ve heard of the guy with the GH tattoo…that’s always fun…lol…

Bong purchases some Kali Mist and some King Hassan Polm hash. We sit and cooperate to roll a joint with the two mixed. Bong lights it, takes a hit and passes it to me. OMG…it’s FUCKIN’ HARSH!!!!!! And it tastes HORRIBLE…blech… for 16 Euro (per gram, I think) it is awful! It won’t even stay lit…Bong rates it 5/10…bummer…

THEN…for the salt-in-the-wound move of the day, Bong orders a coffee…not a latte…when it arrives, there is not NEARLY enough sugar. He puts honey in it and says it’s palatable. (…is this karmic payback for locking me in the room?!? …)

Cheeseburgers are ordered and a bong is rented (for a 20 Euro security deposit). Wanting to give the hash another chance, we decide to smoke it in the bong by itself. When it’s my turn, Bong hands me the bong. My thumb goes right THROUGH the rush hole. I cannot light it because I can’t seal the rush hole!! Damn it!! I have to use my palm to cover that thing. At least I get a hit. The hash is better in the bong by itself. Bong rates it 7.5/10, decent.

As we wait for the food, the many televisions are watched. They are all playing Strain Hunters. Imagine that. Suddenly on the screen, there is a medicine man…a nightmarishly scary medicine man. Bong says, “If I woke up and saw that, I’d shoot it!”

The burgers arrive and are devoured. YUMMY! That is a good thing…considering our last meal at Wok to Walk was GROSS!! Bong also orders us 2 LATTES…not coffees…lol…When the last of the crumbs are being wiped away, the waitress takes our plates away.

I excuse myself to wash my hands and when I return, the bong is ready for smoking. Bong is gentlemanly enough to pull my hits for me. My “palm technique” doesn’t work as well as first experienced. The bong water gets all over my hands. Bong water is gross…

There is a “boy” sitting next to us and he asks to borrow the bong. He looks like a mixture of the round kid, Vern, from Stand By Me mixed with Stephen King…weird considering King wrote The Body which Stand By Me was based on… He’s tripping me out, so I watch the televisions only to be tripped out by Arjan… Strain Hunters is still playing. The volume is down but, even with no volume, I comment on how “full of himself” Arjan appears. Bong laughs and says, “…more like DROWNING in himself!” LOL!

When the pile of crushed weed is smoked and the lattes are empty, we return our rented bong for the deposit and cross the street to mount our mighty steed…um, er…our orange electric scooter…

Off to Dampkring! But first…

PACMAN!



Bikes blown down in the wind



Bong realizes we are at the exact place where the Terena webcam is located. Click it if you want to see…

See the webcam?



There it is!



Bong whips out his iPhone4 and calls Bluelaru to tell her to log into the webcam. She does and she sees us! Coooooooooool! From Amsterdam to Florida! As we talk to her and walk around, we see a lady nearly walk in front of a tram…she is obviously a few cards short of a full deck. She gets SO pissed off that she stands there SCREAMING at the tram! OMG! Bong thinks it’s the funniest thing and points it out to Bluelaru. She sees the whole thing go down…lol…

Frens Haringhandel



Dampkring



Intricate design



We purchase some Mexican Haze and smoke a bit of it. I don’t like the taste…I think it is rather “stemmy” tasting. Bong says…and I quote: “It’s a good haze.” Ok then. I do get stoned, I just don’t like the way it tastes…can’t please all the people all the time, huh? When we finish, we begin our journey up to Basjoe for 4:20. On the way…you got it…pics…

…what do you think she’s screaming?



Suddenly, while we are waiting at a traffic light, Bong tells me to “Take pictures, quick! …Who IS that?!?” Well…I did some burst shots and here they are:




Ok…so…he has HOW MANY body guards???? Does he realize that wearing ALL WHITE, including a WHITE MASK is going to attract attention? Perfect contrast for the MEN IN BLACK…so I ask, ”Who is this guy???

Couple of the still shots:



Close up



On the way to Basjoe…still foggy…



Man…they start little, huh?



Bridge that clues me we’re close to Basjoe!



Must be feedin’ time!



Again, the table we think of as “our table” is occupied…by a bunch of rowdy Irishmen…one of whom instantly knows who we are. Bong goes up to the bar to buy some G-13 Haze (mmmm) and I claim the table adjacent to where the Irishmen are sitting. I believe he goes up to Bong: “Bonglord? Soapy…nice to meetcha…” followed by, “You must be luvtick,” when he gets back to his seat. Ha! Soapy!! He can do simple math! Lol… I only say this because seconds after claiming his seat, Bong opens the Spoon and the whole table of Soapy’s friends, and Soapy too, get SPOONED!

“I can feel my mental ability diminishing…” ~Soapy about Spoon…blurted out at 4:20, exactly…

Yes, 4:20 is spent at Basjoe, smoking bonghits of G-13 Haze with Soapy saying things like, ”That’s magic! …when you finish it, you go, TA-DA!” LMFAO…

Realizing we haven’t had lunch, Bong takes the initiative and soon I am munching spacecake and drinking a STRONG-ASS…I said…STRONG-ASS latte. As I enjoy “lunch” Soapy entertains us all with his GREAT storytelling. I wanted him to keep going and going…Bong, meanwhile was enthralled with Soapy’s friend…who was, according to Bong, the Irish Gapie. (Did the two meet? How do we know they are not the same person? Lol…)

Being the second day here, I am still looking at the ever-changing posters in the room. One catches my eye: it says “FRIDAY NOV. 19 Disco Night!” OMG…lol…I am SO there! I point it out to Bong and he says, “OK…” (yeah, right…lol…) In contrast to the echoes of disco in my head there is reggae pouring out of the speakers saying “Baaaaaaaaad bone.” “BAAAAAAAAAD bone.” Hey! Yeah!! Where IS badbone?? When do the Vikings arrive?? No one answers me…probably because I only asked in my head…and in my notes…lol…stoner…

However…the door opens…and in walks…

…the most physically opposite of badbone…TOMOYA!

Tomoya comes bearing Blueberry Cheese and OG Kush from Greenplace. He sits with Hide, who came in with him, and they twist up a couple joints. Bong had been up at the bar talking to James and he comes back to the table with 2 candies: CANNACARAMELS! Mmmmmm…there are 2 different flavors—vanilla and regular caramel. Bong cuts one into 4 pieces and Hide, Tomoya, Bong and I all have a taste. It’s delicious. I am going to make these when I get home. When he licks the caramel off his fingers, Tomoya lights the OG Kush joint he rolled. It gets passed around our table and then Soapy’s table as well.

Tomoya and Hide notice a “lady” outside walking around. “She” comes inside and walks past our table…Tomoya says “Lady Boy” and he and Hide erupt in laughter. I honestly don’t know if it is a lady or a boy either…when “she” goes up the stairs, we see “her” enter the Men’s Room. Case closed. But every time anyone says “Lady Boy” Hide and Tomoya laugh like it’s the first time they heard it. When LadyBoy leaves, he walks past the window to the left…moments later he passes the window again to the right…and as if we were in some kind of British comedy, a third pass is made…with each pass, Hide and Tomoya laugh harder and louder…saying ”Lady Boy! Lady Boy! Lost!” I think THEY are the funny ones!! Lol…

The last joint we roll is a Mexican Haze + King Hassan Polm + Spoon. It makes us all feel real fine and everyone decides to part ways for dinner and naps. Bong and I make a side trip to a special store to buy a special toy, then we drive back to Voyagers. I have a hankerin’ for some of that Skywalker OG…so Bong buys some for bong hits while I take our purchase upstairs for later…

When I get back downstairs, the bong is loaded and waiting for me to hit! Aww…way to Romance a Stoner…lol…bubble!bubble!cough!cough!…yay! I LUV this weed! I call it tastyyummyexpando weed…cough…cough...again I am amazed this is NOT the weed they are entering…we DO hear the entry is called KOSHER KUSH. Hmmm…if THAT is better than THIS…I can’t WAIT to smoke it! As we enjoy the high that goes along with the Skywalker OG, I look out the window and take this shot:

Smokey claims the scooter for a better view of the canal birds



Bong and I decide it’s time to go upstairs and play with the new toy…and take a nap afterwards. I love Amsterdam. I love Bong.

We awaken at the same time, or so it seems. It’s dark in the room and it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I notice the shadows thrown by the curtains from the street lights. It makes a cityscape on the ceiling. Pretty cool… Since it’s nearly 10pm and we have a Toke and Talk scheduled, we decide to roll down to Basjoe instead of being distracted by each other’s nakedness…it’s not easy, but we do it.

The cold air hits us like a cold shower and we are at Basjoe in two and a half minutes. Dagger is there and we immediately begin taking bong hits of G-13 Haze. NASA is there too. And he now has a friend with him: a very clean cut, young and innocent-looking kid. He is wearing a blue sweater so I immediately call him (in my notes) Little Boy Blue. He is SO cute…like a little kid in a toy store… Little Boy Blue wants to take bong hits…he is watching me and asking lots and lots of questions. Bong gets some drinks for us (water please!) and brings the bong to the table. I proceed to tell LBB how to take a bong hit and hand him the loaded bong. He tries to put the open end of the bong IN his mouth. Ok…no, no, no…let me SHOW you. I snap a tube like a pro…and OMG I do NOT cough!! My exhale fills the room with smoke and I look like a rock star…at least I feel like one…lol… The bong is reloaded and handed back to LBB. He snaps the tube like a pro…and I call him on it: “Are you SURE you’ve NEVER done this?” He swears and his innocent face has me believe him. NASA and I begin to tell him about the Red Light District. He gets totally excited…and then asks me “Can I find a girl like YOU there?” Caught off guard, but not showing it, I say…”I’m sure you can…just be sure the lights are RED and not BLUE.” NASA fills him in on the difference. Little Boy Blue is absolutely enchanted…and completely STONED. I notice how high he is…he is hitting EVERYTHING that is coming his way!! Lol…

A cold blast turns my attention away from LBB. When the cold dissipates, the reason for that blast is in front of me: Braunezucker, PizzaCake and Matty223 are here! As I finish saying hello to them, I look to my right and LBB is GONE! “WHERE IS HE?” I demand…in a very maternal voice. “He went to the bathroom…relax,” NASA tells me. WHEW! That little guy is so high, and pretty horny…and close to the RLD…and then I don’t see him! When he returns to the table, I feel better…lol…

Bong sends around a joint he just painted with Spoon. Not sure where it came from…but it is Big Buddha Cheese…I know THAT. We are all SO STONED. Everyone is laughing and saying silly shit. “Right now…it’s yesterday,” Bong says as he sees the clock is past midnight…lol…

“Stay down big muthafukka,” Little Boy Blue says…but to whom, I don’t know…maybe Bong? Lol…it was funny enough for me to note it…

As per usual, we all eventually realize it is time for Basjoe to close for the night. Lighters are put away (unless you have a lighter leash…), papers, filters and cones are also stowed and personal belongings are (hopefully) remembered. One by one (because that’s all that fit) we file outside and say our goodbyes. Our trusty scooter awaits quietly and returns us to Voyagers just as quietly. Once inside we fall on the bed after the jackets come off. We are just about to fall asleep when we see that toy…oh yeah…that toy…we can sleep later…

Off you go…until next week…

[USbongLord]

fuckin key...lololol...love us

[BigRigRob]

Nice read Luvtic, enjoyed it.

[hestia]

Thank you Luvtick. Wonderfull....as always. Keep up the excellent reporting

[jimi62471]

good stuff..