Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

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KeyMonCha
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Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by KeyMonCha »

Smoke List(not including weed bought by friends)

Voyagers: Satsuma, Super Bio Lemon, LA Con, King Kong, Amnesia, Tidal II.
Green Place: Shoreline, Twizla.
Homegrown Fantasy: Durban Poison.
Rusland: Afghan, Ketama.
Anyday: Afghani, White Widow.
Betty Boop: Maroc Select?.
Utopia: Gardela.
Club Media: Caramelo, Strawberry'x'Diesel?
Barneys Lounge: Tangerine Dream, Turkish Delight.
Kadinsky: Nepal Cream, King Hassan.


Day 1:

With a flight leaving at 5am on a Tuesday morning, i wasn't leaving anything to chance....
I was up at 2am after around an hours sleep and proceeded to pack my bag in a panic.
Never sure why i leave this stuff til the last minute other than if i packed a day earlier,
I'd have to unpack again now, just to check i had everything... Stoners, huh?

Taxi arrived at 3:30am, and we made it to John Lennon at 4:00... Quick coffee in Starbucks,
then straight through security which was basically deserted except for our flight...
Quickly, we made our way to the "lingering" area near gates 1+2, which is usually the right spot.
Gate 4 is announced, and we run the 20 meters to the gate... Excellent, all going smooth,
i'm at the front of the queue so should be first on, right? ...Wrong! ...There's a bus to take us to the plane.
So, i'm first on the bus and i grab the seat nearest the door we entered on...
Does the driver open this door again at the plane?
...No! ...He opens the one at the front where all the slow people ended up... So, at this point i'm fuming...
I displayed excellent queue strategy, like a good Brit should,
and i'm being unfairly hindered by a driver who doesn't know the rules of the queue!

At this point i realise that i haven't had enough sleep and i'm being unnecessarily wankerish...
I take a deep breath and queue again.

Unbeknownst to me, Easyjet have changed their policy since i last flew with them and introduced allocated seating...
So, with my 10 minutes of whingy, child-like tantrums out of the way, i notice a seat number on my boarding card...
...And it's a window!
...All is suddenly well again and i even make it to my seat without getting short with the several people who
can't seem to put a bag on a shelf.

Take off comes quickly, and the flight takes just long enough for me to order a coffee, Chicken wrap and set my watch.

As usual, Schipol is vast, but easily navigated, and i'm through to the trains,
pausing only briefly at passport control as the question,
"what happened to your hair"? was asked by the officer on duty, and my usual response of "wind" seemed to satisfy him.

Hopped onto the train after again queueing like a pro at the ticket office and arrived at Centraal at around 8:30.

Much to the annoyance of my friends, i decide it's far too early to smoke and we probably should find a nice cafe for a brew...
...We head into Nieuwmarkt and settle down at Tofani's for a round of Latte's that went down a treat in the morning sunshine.

After about an hour, the temptation get's the best of me and i stand up leaving my companions to discuss my aversion to getting high at 10am,
and run over to Green Place... I'm guessing the BT on duty was the "asian" guy people have warned of as the gram of Twizla i bought looked somewhat light, but the Shoreline he recommended was perfect.

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Shoreline
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Twizla

Back to the cafe, and looks of suspicion from my pals who have guessed correctly where i've slinked off to...
Another coffee and a quick pass round of my first purchase for nasal approval, and we're off to Voyagers...

It's about 11am and the shop is fairly quiet...

I obviously ask to see the tester for the day, and grab myself a gram... And some LA Con.... And some King Kong... And some Super Bio Lemon!

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Satsuma
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King Kong
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L.A. Con
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Super-Bio-Lemon

We don't stop for drinks and after we've all bought something we decide to grab some essentials before checking into our apartment.
I stop at Baba's Souvenirs and proceed to get royally ripped off for skins, cones a grinder and a rolling mat for 16 euros... I know it's expensive, but i promised myself i'd buy at the first place that sold matt's, rather than walk around for hours trying to find a decent headshop... They don't exist anymore.

Time to call ahead to see if the room is ready.....

...No!

...Told the room will be ready in an hour, so i allow my buddy to take the lead for a while... My buddy, who has been to Amsterdam once before, has a "thing" for Homegrown Fantasy so as i expected we're dragged off to enjoy what i consider to be a declining coffeeshop...

I order a coffee and a gram of Durban Poison and buddy No1 grabs a gram of the NL Outdoor... I load the whole gram into one of the small cones i bought from Baba's and discover it hardly fills a quarter... These are going to be expensive!

Image
Durban Poison

The spliff itself was fine... The taste left something to be desired, but for a first spliff of the trip it did a decent job of giving me a nice head stone but left me in complete control of my legs which i regarded as a vital part of my pre-checked-in-and-luggaged state...

...As i relax, a familiar feeling starts to build...

I'm in Amsterdam!!!

...The feeling creeps over me, and i spend the next half an hour smiling to myself!

Time to move in to my new home!

We walk down Kloveniersburgwal towards the apartment, which is located on a
peaceful, yet central street, with all of Amsterdam spreading out from it like a web...

I ring the bell and we're buzzed straight in to be greeted by the house manager, Mo...

After a super friendly greeting and a tour of the room we're left to collect our thoughts and plan our next move...

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Room

...Time to skin up!

DISCLAIMER*

I know everyone here is expecting a detailed description of the strains, effects, taste and price of the purchases made by a Trip Report author, but in all honesty, i never understand how you guys do it... After my first two joints, everything, except bad weed, seems to be indistinguishable from the last... Some taste a little better than the others, but nothing seems to stand out...By that i mean everything i smoked was, in my opinion, good weed!


After finishing my mates NL Organic and having a good snoop round the apartment, we decide to go out and introduce buddy No2 to the delights of the city, i.e. Albert Hijn and the goodies that dwell within... Chocomel and Old Amsterdam! ...Yummy! ...A quick shop later, and we have the apartment fully stocked with junk food and head out again.

Kadinsky: I was hoping for a gram of Fatima's Hand, but after a quick look and a word with the tender i decided on the King Hassan which smelled delicious and my friends bought some Trans-Himalaya and some Candy Kush.
The Kush was ok, but the TH was nothing like i remember... No real effect, and the consistency was a million miles away from the sticky, honey like hash i came to love several years ago... Really hope Kadinsky isn't slipping as it was my No1 hash stop for several years.

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King Hassan

The rest of the evening was spent alternating between Homegrown Fantasy, The Coffee Company and Anyday, which i enjoy sitting outside of on a warm summer evening comparing Whore strategy and success rates... And after dark, We spent the evening walking around De Wallen... Which in my opinion, loses it's charm year on year! ...Just doesn't feel the same as it did 10-15 years ago... Although, it does feel much safer, and the personal hygiene and fashion choices of the current "Cocaina, Heroeeen" guys is far superior to the old brigade!

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Outside Anyday

After grabbing a Irish Beefburger from BurgerBar and a Coconut Milkshake from Maccy D's we head back to the apartment for what we assumed would be a good nights sleep, but in fact turned out to be a 5 hour smoke session ending with a multiple pass-out!

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Kloveniersburgwal (Outside Apartment)

...I love how i live in this city.


To be continued... Hopefully.... With less rambling!
Last edited by KeyMonCha on Fri 19th Jul 2013 03:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.


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Lazaris
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by Lazaris »

really enjoyed that first post, thanks for taking the time, great pictures, high quality writing

it's as if I'm perceiving what you were experiencing...awesome
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Kid Chavez
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by Kid Chavez »

KeyMonCha wrote:
DISCLAIMER*

I know everyone here is expecting a detailed description of the strains, effects, taste and price of the purchases made my a Trip Report author, but in all honesty, i never understand how you guys do it... After my first two joints, everything, except bad weed, seems to be indistinguishable from the last... Some taste a little better than the others, but nothing seems to stand out...By that i mean everything i smoked was, in my opinion, good weed!

+1
Nice pics Key....thx
Trips Completed: 18
Trips Scheduled: 0
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gapie
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by gapie »

nice report
GetHigh,DoStuff&Dont give a FUCK!
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redeyezman
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by redeyezman »

Shoulda, coulda, woulda, did!
Good read! Hopefully not to much bad bud?! :mrgreen:
Shells sink. Dreams float.
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FlyByNite
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by FlyByNite »

Very good report.

If I can make one request. Next trip turn that camera toward the menus.
Always ask first. Better told no than thrown out.

Enjoy
FlyByNite
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geekymonkey
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by geekymonkey »

Nice report! Glad you decided to share. :) Love the night shot of the canal. Thanks!
Because life is too short to smoke bad bud.
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Mongoose
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by Mongoose »

Great report bro, like your style, made me feel like I was actually in your shoes :) I think we share a similar mindset.
BeastMilk
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by BeastMilk »

Good you did,as your raport turned out great.Can't wait to go to the same getaway apartment myself next month.. 8)
Colino
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by Colino »

wow man that's quality, best report I've seen in a while, thanks a lot!
Rusty Shackleford
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by Rusty Shackleford »

The Good Stuff :)

Nothing wrong with abit of a ramble :wink: :mrgreen:
KEEP ER LIT
Dimon
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by Dimon »

Nice report!
H
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KeyMonCha
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by KeyMonCha »

Thank you, everyone...

Your comments are appreciated and should give me the drive to do Day 2... :D

Also, sorry to FBN... Next time i'll get as many menu shots as possible, as your website has proved invaluable to me in the past and i'd love to give something back.

Thanks again all...

Part 2 coming in the next day or 2... Depending on local distractions! :roll: :D
worldcitizen1723
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by worldcitizen1723 »

enjoying your report...patiently waiting for more.. : >
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KeyMonCha
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Re: Late Report That I Wasn't Going To Do, But Did!

Post by KeyMonCha »

Day 2:

Awoke with leaded eyeballs and double vision...

It was gone noon when we eventually managed to get our minds in sync and leave the comfort of the Hideaway apartment... After a quick stop at Maccy D's again for a healthy breakfast of Big Mac's and another round of the addictively different Coconut Milkshakes, we head to Homegrown Fantasies for coffee and a pre-roll...

...Pre-roll's get a hard time on here, and i can see why... The only coughing fit i had on this trip was from a pre-roll, and i have thrown a "whitey" in the past from smoking them... I tend to think it's the amount of tobacco in the cheaper ones that does this, or the amount of twigs and leaves in the pure ones... Either way, they are not for those who take their weed seriously...

...That being said, Homegrown fantasies strong P.R. is actually quite pleasant... It's not exactly dynamite stuff, but it's reasonably smooth, tastes fine, and is fairly cheap when compared to other Centrum Coffeeshop P.R.'s...

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Buddy No1 explaining to Buddy No2 why Pre-Rolls are better here

So we sit outside passing the spliff between us feeling quite relaxed with our coffee's and random little biscuits which seem to alternate between Chocolate Creams, Amaretto Cookies and the rarest of them all, the Coconut Macaroon... All was perfect, until a group of around 50 school kids were marched past our table, each of them looking at us with cheeky interest and a knowing smile as their teacher herded them as fast as she could past our table of deviance...

...Strange, that even in a place like this; at a Coffeeshop, i'll still palm the spliff and hold it in a fairly shady way under the table like a kid in a bike shed....

...If bike shed's had tables, anyway.

No longer feeling quite as comfortable, we finish our coffee's and head out into the city again... The direction we chose was pretty random, but in no time we found ourselves outside the Heineken Experience... Options are weighed up and i do my best to steer the decision in my favour...

...I win!

...Off to De Pijp!

I was honestly expecting a lot more from the Albert Cuyp Markt, but with mostly cheap looking clothing stores and tacky electronics stalls i was left disappointed and looking for almost any redeeming qualities... Sadly, the only things i would part with my money to buy were from the food vendors, who were doing a bustling trade in Waffles, Fruit Smoothies and Frites... I did feel somewhat sorry for the poor Churros guy, who was cooking up a sweet smelling storm from his tiny van only to be totally queue-less...

...Maybe there was a reason for that?

...I decided to put a leash on my pity, and not risk it!

"I'm sure Yo-Yo is that way", i say confidently to my lost looking friends as i lead the way down streets i've never been down before... They seem to believe me, so follow willingly along as i try to hide my building uncertainty...

...After around an hour of aimless wondering my friends staged an intervention, and to be fair, i'm glad... I had maps, directions (thanks Stu), and yet i'd managed to leave them on my phone... Which i had forgotten!

Buddy No1 takes the lead and takes us northwards again...

It was roughly half an hour when we found ourselves passing Yo-Yo, but by now the need to try out this little oasis had evaporated and we just wanted to grab some decent gear and get back home for tea...

Luckily, our way back took us close enough to Club Media for me to run out in front and have a wee looksie at their menu... I ask about the Strawberry'X'Diesel and her recommendation for a good hash... Funnily, she appeared to try and put me off the SxD in favour of another strain, but after a quick sniff of the two i still decided to take the Strawberry... From what i remember, it was a good decision, but i'll never know if the one she recommended was possibly the best weed ever! ...In my mind, it was!

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Strawberry 'X' Diesel

...The hash was a really thick smelling Caramelo... Similar to the stuff you can pick up in Spain, but twice the price... In U.K. terms however, this stuff would sell for insane money... It was a lovely piece of hash with a nice warm buzz lasting just long enough to eat, shower and skin up again... A good breakfast hash if ever their was one... Highly recommended!

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Caramelo

I run out of the shop and catch up with my friends who are just walking past the three 70's looking twisty art columns in Gerard Douplein, and we continue on northwards.

It's not long before the geographical cortex in what's left of my brain kicks back into gear and i'm once again leading the pack... This time, i know where i'm going and in a flash i've managed to drag us all to the entrance of Barney's Lounge where in i offer to buy all an apologetic Coffee Milkshake, which goes down well, and all the aimless walking is forgiven... I'm still not sure the shakes are worth the money, but they're so good, and on a hot day like this i'd have probably payed more...

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Barney's Coffee Milkshake

...My friends get a Pre-Roll each, both of which were dire to say the least, especially since i was expecting Barney's to have superior P.R's to Homegrowns offering...

So after a lengthy coughing session, and a soothing slurp of Milkshake, i head to the dealer to see what's on offer...

I was so close to buying the Triple Zero... It looked like runny dog crap, so obviously, i was fascinated by it... The dealer said it was probably better than the Iso, and at around 26 euros a gram it had better be... It looked like a real handful to roll with, so i asked for something a little more solid... That's when i was handed the tub of Turkish Delight... The smell was spicy... Not like the spicy you get with some indian hash, but really spicy... Like, you're in a market in Marrakech and ask for something spicy, spicy!!

...It really was a delicious piece of hash!

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Turkish Delight

...At 19 Euro's, it's very, very pricey for standard hash, but as a one off i'm glad i bought it.

...After looking over all the hash i asked if he had a particularly tasty strain of weed on the menu, and quick as a flash he whipped out the tub of Tangerine Dream... Secretly, this is what i was hoping for as the TD has been on my smoke list for several years, yet i have never sampled it... As with all of Barney's wares, it is on the expensive side, but it is a fine bit of weed, especially for those, like me, who value taste and not just effect...

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Tangerine Dream

...Barney's Lounge itself is a really nice little coffeeshop, with the best music i came across all trip, consisting mostly of old Motown classics from Aretha Franklin and Stevie Wonder, and also a little Hendrix for those who like something a little stronger... All in all, it's a great place to hang out and relax in, and if the prices were ever so slightly cheaper it would be a favourite of mine.

After getting back to the room and whipping up some Old Amsterdam Cheesy Bread Sticks, we sit back and smoke waiting for dusk to finally arrive, along with it's cooler temperature and added atmosphere down in Centrum...

Another night of cafe hopping and people watching ends our second evening in Mokum...

We stroll back home sometime after midnight and hunger yet again gets the best of me and i insist on finding an open Pizzeria somewhere, anywhere, but most have started to shut up shop...

As we pass Coffeeshop Pick Up The Pieces, we notice a small Italian restaurant that looks open... We have a quick look at the menu, and a short gentleman appears at the door with an enormous smile on his face...

"You want eat"?, he says...

"Yes please, do you do take away pizza"?

...His smile just got slightly bigger and we took that as a yes and quickly followed him inside...

"Three pizza's, please.... With meat"!

...Now, we weren't expecting anything fantastic, but anything is better than N.Y. Pizza, especially at this time of night, but what we got after a 15 minute wait was one of the nicest Pizza's i've had in ages... Stone baked, with quality Parma Ham and some of the juiciest salami, all for 9 euros each...

...I honestly suggest you try this place, as as far as i'm concerned, it's yet another gem, hidden in plain sight on Oude Hoogstraat and according to Google is simply called "Restorante Italiano-Pizza, Pasta, Grill".

...After walking the 5 minutes back home and scoffing our food down in silence, it was time to lay back and smoke 'til we dropped, one by one the joints came, and one by one we fell...

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Tangerine Dream & Twizla

...If only life was like this all the time.

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Me, putting off bedtime for as long as possible

Thanks for reading...


...(hopefully)To Be Continued...
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