july trip report...

[courtjester]

I posted this on Rez's site previously, but now that the forum's back up on ACD, where my Amsterdam virginity was lost, I simply must post here:

My wife and I made our first trip to Amsterdam July 11-24. We found Amsterdam to be to marijuana what Las Vegas is to gambling, although at our ages (mid-40s), it was less about the fine smoke than the liberating experience of making adult decisions without fear of unwarranted retribution.

There are a couple of things to note before I go forward (anyone who has been to A'dam before, feel free to skip this paragraph). I did a lot of research on the ACD site before going to Amsterdam, and once I got feet on the ground, I was amazed how utterly fucking useless the Frommer's guide was, and how practical the ACD maps were. I printed out three maps from ACD -- the main map of the Centrum, the numbered map with greater detail of the heart of the Centrum, and the Albert Cuyp market-area map. Cross-referencing the Centrum maps with a very good detailed street map of Amsterdam often enabled me to get a better grip on my location than I could with the street map alone (i.e., it often was easier to locate my whereabouts by the nearest coffeeshop). I also created a printout list to correspond with the 119 locations on the numbered map before I left, with the name of each establishment, its address, and opening hours if available, all taken directly from ACD. It took some time, but it came in really handy. (Note: I couldn't actually print the numbered map from ACD...so I took a couple digital photos of the computer screen, scanned them back into the same computer, and printed them out that way...there's probably a better way, but I'm computer-challenged, and lucky just to have figured out that one!) Besides those ACD references and a good street map, the only other thing I would suggest is finding a copy of Joe Pauker's extraordinary book, "Get Lost: The Cool Guide to Amsterdam." Unlike the pricier and better-known guides, it is practical and functional on the ground.

The other thing to know is that while I'm a long damn way from being cheap, I learned many years ago that the only way to have some money is don't spend it all. So, by virtue of some of the lessons learned on ACD, I set some financial goals as pertained coffeeshops. Without negatively affecting our experience, I was resolute that I absolutely would not spend more than 7 euros per gram, on average, for hash and weed over the course of the trip, period. However, my real objective was to keep it to 6 euros per gram. When we're at home, Mrs. C.J. and I smoke about a quarter-pound of weed every three weeks (112 grams). Based on that track record, as well as the unfortunate reality that my weed almost always contains seeds (the only seeds we saw in Amsterdam were in grow shops), and the anticipation that we were about to step off into Weedapalooza unlike we had experienced before, I estimated we would smoke 70-80 grams in 13-and-a-fraction days.

What I didn't factor in was that, despite our various sightseeing excursions, the central purpose of our trip was to smoke. So we did -- 108 grams worth, between two people. We finished all but a speck of Jelly hash from Bushdocter that we had to leave in the pipe at Rastababy on the last day, lest we risk missing our flight.

For the most part, I'm just going to give general impressions. At the end, I will list everything we purchased, the point of purchase, and the cost of each purchase.

First, there are several good weed deals in A'dam, but very little that compares to the 5G of Blueberry for 23 euros at The Noon, or the variety of 2.8G sacks at Rastababy for 12.5 euros. We bought more weed from those two places than any other coffeeshops in Amsterdam. Coincidentally, we also met the two coolest budtenders of our entire trip at those shops, and on each occasion, it was our first visit.

At Rastababy, Ronald asked why I take notes of my purchases, and when I told him it was to write about my experiences on the Internet, he invited himself to our table and insisted we allow him to roll us a conical joint of pure weed. He told us he smoked weed from ages 12-19, then got burned out and quit. He worked the sex clubs for a while, then started working at Rastababy (he's 23 now). Well traveled, and a typical Dutch cat, in that he speaks a half-dozen languages and understands a few others. He said Americans are the only ones who smoke pure-weed joints and questioned why we don't use tips, since it means we must burn our fingers (Mrs. C.J. and I actually like tipped joints...just not with tobacco). I told him we don't burn our fingers because we use roach clips. He had never heard the term, and the entire concept was foreign to him.

On Day 11, we ate 105G of Colombian mushrooms and sat at Rastababy's outdoor cafe, laughing so hard that we literally had crusty tear streaks running down our cheeks (you think, considering we hadn't acted like that in a dozen-or-so other trips there, that they knew this "trip" was different?) At one point, I got a little pensive, watching the big building across the street sway, thinking I would be back to work in four days, yet couldn't possibly be farther away at that moment, figuratively or literally. ...

And at The Noon, we met Mahmoud, who was about our age, and told us he left Egypt with three friends as a young man 25 years ago, ostensibly because he didn't want to work in the family's restaurant business. When he got off the train at Central Station and walked around town, he began smelling hash and weed. Someone told him he could walk into coffeeshops, buy, and smoke, without fear of punishment. He never left. Neither did his three friends. Mahmoud married a Dutch girl and they had children, all without ever again contacting his family, until years later, when he called and smoothed everything over. I don't know about you, but whenever I think about Mahmoud's fuck-it-all decision, I get it. I really do.

The place we smoked most often was the Sensi Coffeeshop on the corner of Oudezijds Achterburgwal and Oude Doelenstraat, where they don't sell weed but allow you to smoke your own, and Mrs. C.J. rated the cappucino 10/10. Since they don't sell, there is no pressure, overt or covert, to buy their weed. A wonderful corner shop with great people-watching opportunities.

Generally, we discovered some of the lesser-known shops to have better values, and the better-known shops to be real tourist traps. We both thought the breakfast at Barney's Breakfast Bar was absolutely the worst thing we ate the entire trip, and the Cannabis Cup-winning Willie Nelson was totally average at 12 euros a gram, which tells me what bullshit the Cannabis Cup really is. We tried going in De Dampkring, but it was so crowded we didn't stay 30 seconds. Mrs. C.J. liked The Grasshopper, but I was put off that after spending 60 euros on food, smoke and a t-shirt, they wanted 50 cents for me not to piss on their fucking floor.

On the other hand, we loved some of the out-of-the-way places. Rusland has a terrific selection of teas (as does its sister establishment, Het Ballonetje, which has an identical menu), Mrs. C.J. loved its coffee milkshakes, and you can still get a 6-euro gram of good smoke. I also liked Media, where all the smoke is organic; I got 3.8 grams of excellent Hindu Kush there for 23 euros, which is a pretty average price, except they also tossed in a free package of papers and a unique 40-pack of tips, and offered free fruit on the coffee table. Pick Up the Pieces had average weed prices at best, but if you order an orange juice, they serve you up a whopping 12-ounce fresh-squeezed beverage, not just a crappy little juice glass. I thought Central, which has a board menu and usually offers sales in increments of 2.3 grams for 12.5 euros or 4.6 grams for 25 euros, offered some good deals. And of course, we loved The Noon and Rastababy.

In the middle of the trip, after the first five nights in Amsterdam, and before the last five nights in Amsterdam, we spent three nights in Maastricht, in extreme southern Limburg province. It was a slower-paced city and we do not care to visit it again, although there were several decent coffeeshops. On the other hand, we didn't think enough of any of them to visit more than once. In Maastricht shops, the weed was a bit more expensive, but the drinks were cheaper (i.e., at Maxcy's, we bought a gram of Shiva for 7.50 euros, but a cappucino and an espresso were only 2.50.) There are few, if any, multi-gram deals. And the buds were markedly smaller than in Amsterdam, which is not to say necessarily lacking in quality.

The bright moment of the trip to Maastricht, and the absolute exception to everything you just read, was a brief train excursion to nearby Sittard and its wonderful coffeeshop, Skunk. There are only a half-dozen or so weeds on the menu, and maybe three or four hashes. I asked the budtender about the Cristal, and she counter-suggested the Skunk White Night. She held up samples of both, I agreed with her suggestion immediately, and bought 2.2 grams for 15 euros. Mrs. C.J. merely voted the dense, crystallized Skunk White Night buds as the best weed of the trip. I placed it third, behind Amnesia Haze and Laughing Buddha, both from Amnesia in Amsterdam. But the Skunk White Night was damn fine smoke regardless, and Skunk is a welcoming little shop. Just take a left out of the train station, then your first right, and you can't miss it.

After the weed prices in Maastricht skewed my average upward, I went directly to Rusland after returning to A'dam and bought 5 grams of Skunk Mix Shake for 15 euros. I'm not sure if this was cheating or not, but I think I played it fair. Yes, it was partly designed to stay within pre-set spending thresholds, yet it also played directly into our smoking habits. Like I said, we smoke pure-weed joints -- and I'll be damned if I'm going to leave perfectly good hooch in anyone's ash tray but my own. Yes, I save the roaches, and after a few dozen joints, the mix of all those roaches and the Skunk Mix Shake produced some extremely potent recycled doobies. So call it cheating if you must, but the Skunk Mix Shake served two purposes, soothing the crusty roach weed, and nudging the euro average downward. Plus, I smoked the result, and it was live!

Otherwise, we had few limits. We smoked the Isolater hash at 20 euros a gram, and the Jelly hash at 30 euros, and they were out of this world. Given how little it takes to get buzzed at a given time, they weren't horrible overexpenditures, although we both generally prefer smoking weed. We smoked 28 different strains of weed, some of which I had only read about. We also ate some of the space cakes and bon bons at Chocolata, although I didn't bother factoring them into the averages. That fell under the food and nutrition budget, wink-wink.

Most important, we had both had the time of our lives, and agreed it was our best vacation ever.

Finally, here's everything we smoked, listed by coffeeshop from which each was purchased, and price:

Abraxas: 1G Shiva, 8.00.
Amnesia: 1G Amnesia Haze, 11.00; 2G Laughing Buddha, 23.00.
Barney's: 1G Willie Nelson, 12.00.
Bushdocter: 2G White Widow, 12.50; 2G Bubblegum, 12.50; 1G Jelly hash, 30.00.
Central: 2.3G White Widow, 12.50; 2.3G XXX, 12.50.
Club 69 (Maastricht): 1G Jack Herrer, 9.00.
De Overkant Hortus: 1G Super Skunk, 6.50.
Het Ballonetje: 1G Jack Herrer, 6.80.
Kadinsky: 1G Hawaiian Haze, 9.75.
Lucky Time (Maastricht): 1G Da Chronic, 8.50.
Maxcy's (Maastricht): 1G Shiva, 7.50.
Media: 3.8G Hindu Kush, 23.00.
Mellow Yellow: 5G Mellow Berry, 25.00.
Mississippi (Maastricht): 2G White Widow, 13.00; 2G Maroc Gold hash, 11.00.
Noon: 15G Blueberry, 69.00; 1G Blueberry Haze, 10.00.
Old Church: 2G Jack Herrer, 12.00; 1G Isolater hash, 20.00.
Pick Up the Pieces: 1.8G Northern Lights, 12.50.
Rastababy: 2.8G Snow White, 12.50; 2.8G Orange Bud, 12.50; 2.8G K2, 12.50; 14G Silver Haze, 62.50; 2.8G Northern Lights, 12.50; 2.8G Super Skunk, 12.50.
Regine (Haarlem): 5G Regine Special, 25.00.
Rusland: 1G AK-47, 7.00; 1G NLX, 6.00; 1G Santa Maria, 7.00; 5G Skunk Mix Shake, 15.00.
Sheeba: 3.2G AK-48, 24.00. (It's a cross of AK-47 and NL).
Skunk (Sittard): 2.2G Skunk White Night, 15.00.
Slow Motion (Maastricht): 2G K2, 13.00.
Smoking Bull: 1.4G NYC Diesel, 15.00 (too expensive, but this was our first experience with Volcano Vaporizer, so it was OK!)
Smurf (Maastricht): 1G Hindu Kush, 7.00.
Softland: 2G White Smurf, 12.00.
Tweede Kamer: 1G Marrakesh Delight hash, 8.00.

TOTAL SMOKED: 108 GRAMS
TOTAL PRICE: 656.55 EUROS
EUROS PER GRAM: 6.079.

So we stayed well within the mandatory 7-euro average, and came within eight cents of the underlying goal of a 6-euro average. Not bad, and not at all possible without all the advance knowledge and education gleaned from the ACD site and forum.

Finally, my ranking of our 10 favorite coffeeshops (excluding Sensi Coffeeshop, where there are no direct purchases, but certainly should rank on anyone's top 10 for smoking venues):
1. Rastababy: Outstanding weed, sold exclusively in packages of 2.8G/E12.5 (E4.46 per gram!), and has an outdoor seating area on one of the best people-watching corners in Amsterdam.
2. Amnesia: Two things stood out. One, price notwithstanding, the Amnesia Haze and Laughing Buddha were otherworldly. Second, when Mrs. C.J. polished off her milkshake, the bartender quickly came out with another half-glass which she had saved as excess from the blender.
3. Noon: A bit hard to find, not a touristy clientele, but very pleasant shop, and that Blueberry special is not to be missed.
4. Rusland and Het Ballonetje: They're listed together because they're sister shops, with identical weed and drink menus. Both have great weed at decent prices, fabulous milkshakes and teas, and cool chill areas.
5. Regine (Haarlem): Airy shop with a big picture window. Good weed prices, but highly recommend the house weed, Regine Special, which had deep red hairs, almost maroon, and was just a brilliant smoke.
6. Skunk (Sittard): Small, few tourists, but historic smoke.
7. Media: Free papers, tips, fruit were simply nice touches.
8. Central: Excellent weed prices, underrated shop.
9. Old Church: In retrospect, I wonder why we didn't go here more.
10. Softland: Pleasant impromptu stop with solid smoke.

Thanks to everyone, and remember, it's almost 4:20 somewhere.

[Epsilon]

Enjoyed reading your report...Didn't know of the link between Rusland and Ballontje ...You didn't mention a hotel / apt. any comments on where you stayed ?

[courtjester]

Epsilon, have read many posts from you, as well as reviews on the mainstream ACD site, and got a helluva lot of advance information from them. Plus, I was once in a fraternity with Epsilon in the name, so you were easy to remember!

We stayed at two places we found on www.bookings.nl, in both cases apartments, and in both cases the landlord lived upstairs.

The first five nights were at a place called Apartment Oudezijds Voorburgwal (E130/night), which was beautiful, convenient, full kitchen facilities, really nice. It shows well in the pictures on the Web site too. No smoking in that apartment.

The last five nights were at the "studio" at Why Us Apartments (E90/night, with eighth night free if purchasing seven). This is the "sous-terrain" apartment as listed on the Web site, the one where it distinctly notes that marijuana smoking is permissable (we, uh, took advantage). We stayed there during a heat wave, but the basement-style location allowed this apartment to stay cool. The landlord furnishes enough breakfast fixings for two days, easily. A great value.

[cannibistourist]

nice report! wish i had planned out my first one out that much or at least takin a right and gone to rastababy instead of walking on to route 99 ah well. i know one of my first stops will be noon to get the 5 grams of blueberry ! rastababy, rusland and het Ballonetje are a must too thanks for reporting

[nytvd]

great report with good detail...thanks for taking the time to let us in on your experience....definitely some good ideas for my next visit.